dp and i have been talking seriously about eloping sometime this year. our reasons for doing so are:
we already have a mortgage and son together so feel as though a wedding is a bit of a formality iykwim?
we have way better things to spend our money on atm- like home renovations, new business etc.
i have never really been a 'dress up' kind of girl, and the thought of buying a dress, organising invites etc. absolutely does my head in, rather than excites me like i've seen it do to friends
dp is originally from Sydney and so logistically it is quite difficult as to whether to have wedding in Syd or Melb
i lost my mother in 2006 and would find it extremely difficult, confronting and not enjoyable to have a wedding without her there. since her death, xmas has become a day where i cry most of the day and imagine a wedding would be the same

so....my question is....do you think it's fair on our friends and family for us to not have a wedding? i really don't want to hurt anyone or let anyone down...but then i think we have already brought so much joy into many peoples' lives by having ds and sharing him with so many people - first grandchild on both sides, first baby in dp's main friendship group etc....what do you think? is it selfish to just want to be married but not want a wedding that involves everyone?? would people whose weddings we've been to in the last few years feel 'ripped off'???