I agree - elope! I desperately wanted to elope but Dad told me he'd disown me if I did (should have done it anyway!!!).

My Uncle called everyone around for a BBQ and then his wife disappeared for a bit and came out in a special dress she'd made and the celebrant arrived and they got married. Noone knew a thing until they got there! So much less pressure.

You could always organise the wedding to be O/S (Bali is a popular place for this kind of thing) and tell people if they want to attend they have to pay their own way. Usually you can organise to have a celebrant on the beach (be as dressed up or down as you like) and they organise for you to have a meal in a nice resturant afterwards. Or they can organise the full thing for you. Bonus is you get your honeymoon too

Good luck!

MG