Opening presents - During or after the party?

[~Hestia~]

If we're talking about kids parties I think it depends on the situation. For Moo's first birthday we were in a hall with stacks of other kids. So we took them home and unwrapped them the next day. This was because we didn't want anything getting lost or broken. But his second birthday was just a low key thing at home with family, only kids were 3 of his cousins. So we felt quite okay with Moo opening his pressies as his guests arrived, nothing was going to get accidently thrown out etc.

I've been at parties where the kids pressies have been opened and then all the kids are playing with it and bits are going everywhere...I'm always worried they're going to lose crucial pieces

No matter when the gifts get opened I always send out a personal thankyou card so hopefully the giver can see how much it is appreciated and enjoyed anyway.

[PumpkinZulu]

I would say depends. Child's birthday, as received or after, engagement after and baby shower during.

I don't think there's an issue with opening pressies in front of other children. It's a good way to teach our kids about special moments for other people, what giving a gift means etc etc. Obviously some children would be too young to understand that message, but you'd think if they were that young then they could also be pretty easily distracted from the situation too.

[Freya]

To be honest, its the way I was raised, we NEVER opened gifts at the party. For a two reasons.

1. Alot of kids want to play with everything thats opened, including the birthday kid, and it detracts from the party to have 20 kids screaming to play with the opened presents. And they all do it up to a certain age. I also think it distracts the birthday child from the party as well, I know if I opened a kick butt present Id want to play with it then and there too. Its rude to ignore guests.

2. It can make people feel uncomfortable because some party guests may have spent more than others on said party gift. Some people may not have the money to get something fairly expensive, while others might have the financial means or the personal reasons (ie immediate family, godparents, close friends, whatever) to want to buy something bigger or more expensive.

We've been to parties where presents were opened at a specific time during the party or as they arrived; and while it doesnt matter to me how someone else runs their party, it does make me uncomfortable and most of the time causes issues amongst the kids (generally the younger ones ie under 10).

[AnyDream]

We've never had any issues or fights with pressie opening. It's far ruder IMO when the present just disappears, you never find out if the birthday child opened it or used it or even knows who it's from. Case in point: attended one massive party where there were squillions of presents on a table, we were never thanked for the gift and in fact the thing we took was REGIFTED to my child a couple of months later. That wouldn't have happened if there had been a face to face present opening moment as the child's mother would've remembered who it was from.

[Rouge]

I don't really care. Is that bad of me? If its a HUGE party I tend to have a present opening session, this way thanks can be given. With the kids we generally open after, mainly because it's harder to keep track of who gave what when everyone is excited.

I wouldn't say one is ruder than the other. And I wouldn't be offended either way.

I don't understand why it causes issues with kids. I'd be pretty disappointed in my kids if they behaved badly over another child's presents. Maybe that makes me a bad mum

[HotI]

At my DDs 1st bday we opened some gifts during the party and others were saved til the next day. She was pretty overwhelmed and as part of the excitement for littlies is the unwrapping i decided to wait til she could focus and enjoy it. we sent photos by sms of her opening the present to the person who gave the gift.

i don't really like the idea of everyone sitting around watching the unwrapping, especially for kids, but it doesn't really bother me if people unwrap during or after.

[Jennifer13]

It depends. When DD is having a birthday party and there's 30 children, it's way too hard to open the presents as the children arrive and would take so long it would be rude. So then we wait until the guests have all gone home. If it's only a small gathering with a few people, then and there. But open cards first, to see the sentiment expressed and thank the giver before ripping off the paper to see the goodies!

I think the same goes for adult get togethers too, it depends on the number of ppl and how long they'd have to sit there and watch you if there's other things to do. I think the exception is a bridal shower or baby shower though, when everyone wants to goo and gaa over all the cute things.

I might also be sensitive if it's an event where not everyone has brought a present.

[Boo Boo]

Wedding - after
Adults Birthday - there and then
Kids birthday - small - there and then but if a larger party with entertainment and things happening and not really time for a present opening session then after and I sit with child and write a list of who gave what and then send out a thank you note. I have found that when my children open presents at their parties the card gets displaced from present and I don't know who gave what so I can't thank them. I hate not sending out thank you notes, it makes me feel very very rude. I was brought up that during the week after any presents (christmas or birthday) had been recieved a personal thank you letter had to be sent out by myself, so I guess it has been ingrained in me. I also feel mildly offended if I don't receive a thank you note from other people, but that is just me....

[little_O]

Wedding/Engagement: After the event, normally the next day or when we got back to our parents house.

Baby Shower/Kitchen Tea etc: I prefer to wait to the end when there isnt as many people there and i have a general rule that i dont say who got it for me when i open it.

I agree with wanting to see someone open the gift, as that is the exciting thing, but i also dont want to make anyone feel bad about what they've given/afford etc so thats why i dont say WHO it is from.

[Amy_jellybean]

Depend on the party.
Eg my daughter third party was small, so opened as arrived.
Baby shower - at set time, as people seem to want to all look at what you got.
Engagement /wedding/21st type- after guests have left.

My opinion is the same. However I do find it quite awkward at baby showers if someone has spent quite a lot on a gift and then someone else has spent a minimal amount. Dont get me wrong I am not a shallow person and I believe its the thought of giving not the cost, but I cant help but feel awkward for the people that purchased the gift if something massive gets opened by one person and then the next gives a bib etc.

[TeniBear]

Ah, here's an add-on...

What if you're late to your own party and the gift table has already been set up by someone else? That's what happened at Amelia's party! She and I opened most of the presents the day after, but a few were opened on the day. Mostly ones in those gift bags, you don't have much choice with those!

[Shanti]

I ask them to open the pressie before we leave