Our committment ceremony... does this sound a bit budget?

[Aimz]

I think it's fine. Although I wouldn't write it that way on the invitation. Get your family to spread the word that you don't want presents. Some people will buy something anyway - even if they are told not to.

Instead, I would send the invitation with words along the line of...

The ceremony will be followed by a relaxed dinner at XYZ. Drinks provided.

That way people will realise they have to pay for their own meal and they won't assosiate it with the no gift thing. They will be two seperate things.

I think it sounds lovely!!

[Trillian]

If I got invited to a friends/family members ceremony I would go - there'd be no question about it. I think if you came up with some clever wording then it owuld be fine, so long as people know in advance then they would be fine with it. Now if you did it the way a couple I know did it, where there was no warning the guests had to pay for their own very exxie dinner and the first they knew about it was when someone came around asking them for the money, then that would be rude ROFL.

[Smoke Jaguar]

I would also word it cleverly in the invite - some people don't get subtlety and might think that dinner is paid for but drinks are not. The people you want to have there will not be offended by this and those that are have missed the point and are probably not deserving to be there
Really, if they're being asked to be there for you and you don't want their gifts, it has GOT to be cheaper to pay their own dinner than buy a gift, doesn't it??

[Indadhanu]

THanks everyone, I feel much better now. I've just heard of some weddings (and seen on Discovery home and health) some weddings which cost upwards of $20000... WTF? For a WEDDING? It just blows my mind that people would spend that much on material things, when its not about the accessories on the table or an expensive dress or the 'perfect' venue...

Anyway, I guess for us its different because we can't legally marry so even just having the opportunity to come together in front of our family and friends and showing them how much we love each other is enough, not expensive things (our rings won't cost more than $1000 together).

Maya, that was our theory, better off for everyone that they just pay for their dinner (that way they can choose what they want, not a set menu which I personally HATE lol) than spend money and buy us something that chances are we probably don't need anyway as we pretty much set ourselves up already.

Trillian, PMSL, ah no, we'll definately spell it out... tactfully of course, but probably not be subtle!

[The[cookie]Doctor]

THanks everyone, I feel much better now. I've just heard of some weddings (and seen on Discovery home and health) some weddings which cost upwards of $20000... WTF? For a WEDDING?

I know what you mean however i had budgeted a low key wedding with less than 45 guests and still couldn't bring it in under $8000. It's easy to see ho the "frills" add up to ridiculous numbers. Most large European families will spend in the 50-60k range.

Anyway - WRT the presents thing, I wouldn't be writing no presents buy your meal instead etc, because it comes across as though you are expecting a gift. Some people take that as a bit rude LOL! Tactfully as possible, but really ho cares because if people are offended then they dont deserve to be there.

Ooooh how exciting, we were originally planning the wedding for september 19th. but that went to hell.

[Aimz]

$20000... WTF? For a WEDDING? It just blows my mind that people would spend that much on material things, when its not about the accessories on the table or an expensive dress or the 'perfect' venue...

Errr... *hangs head in shame*

[Indadhanu]

LOL I didn't mean any offence!!! I know when you put the tag of 'wedding' on anything the price doubles! Thats why ours is a 'committment ceremony'

[Megan]

I think that's perfectly fine. We went to a family members wedding a few years ago where they did this. No presents, and we paid for our dinner which was around $30pp plus drinks. I don't think anyone had a problem with it. You just need to find a way to word it on the invitations so that there is no confusion.