THanks everyone, I feel much better now. I've just heard of some weddings (and seen on Discovery home and health) some weddings which cost upwards of $20000... WTF? For a WEDDING?
I know what you mean however i had budgeted a low key wedding with less than 45 guests and still couldn't bring it in under $8000. It's easy to see ho the "frills" add up to ridiculous numbers. Most large European families will spend in the 50-60k range.

Anyway - WRT the presents thing, I wouldn't be writing no presents buy your meal instead etc, because it comes across as though you are expecting a gift. Some people take that as a bit rude LOL! Tactfully as possible, but really ho cares because if people are offended then they dont deserve to be there.

Ooooh how exciting, we were originally planning the wedding for september 19th. but that went to hell.