Renewal of vows? Have you done it or know someone who has?
Sorry in advance if this is all over the place.
DH and I got married about a month ago. The day was awesome the lead up to it while stressful was great but it's everything that has followed that makes me want to cry.
I'm not going to go into every detail but there has been a number of issues with one of the B/maids regarding costs etc. Her words to me was that I was ungrateful for everything she did and I should be ashamed of myself for behaving the way i did. If I was so ungrateful I wouldn't have paid for everything that I did (they paid $10 for their dress and wore whatever shoes they wanted - I paid for eveything else) and I wouldn't have spent an extra $130 on her to show my appreciation!!!! I thought this situation was over with and dealth with however, she's still continuing it on and carrying on about it to everyone I know!
Anyway.....
I have since got my wedding photos back and while I love the job the photographer has done - I HATE THEM!! Especially the ones with her in them because all i can think about is how much she has hurt me and how angry she has made me. I cry everytime I look at them because it was never meant to turn out this way. These photos are meant to have happy memories attached not horrible ones.
I'm thinking i'd eventually like to do a renewal of vows ceremony with all the original bridal party minus her so I can have something I can look back on and Love.
I know this sounds really petty now and I should just move on. I just don't know how to do that when everytime I look back on my special photos I feel so angry.
I love my husband with everything I have and I know that this is what the day is/was about and nothing will change that, I just hate the memories I have attached to our special day.
Is there a time when you specifically do a renewal of vows???? What is involved in them??
So sory your wedding has left you with cr@ppy memories. DH and I have disussed renewing our vows one day too, ust so we can have special memories.
I hate thinking back to my wedding, it got totally ruined by our fathers, mainly his. My father chucked a tanty just before the ceremony when I told him I wanted him AND mum to walk me down the isle (they are divorced). Then as they were walking me down the isle, Dad leant in to me and said "geez your tits look huge in that dress" NICE, thank god i had my mum next to me! Then suring our wedding dance a very special song was on, I had dreamt of this particular moment of my wedding, so our fav bit of the song was just about to come on and then DH dad walks up and tries to give us some kind of guilt trip about notspending time with DH little sister WFT??!!! So yeah, totally ruined it for me.
I think renewing the vows with only the people you actually love to be around, is a fanmtastic idea
I know of someone who was unhappy with how their wedding day went. She had a 2nd wedding/vowel renewal day on her 1st anniversary.
Have you considered a 'trash the dress' photo session? Your dress doesn't get totally trashed or anything. They just take photos of you in your dress that can't really be taken on your wedding day. I've seen whole bridal parties do it. Maybe that is something to consider, the photos will be awesome and 'she' won't be in them. There's also an Australian TDD site which doesn't seem to be working atm. I think most wedding photographers do it now.
Last edited by Phteven; October 25th, 2009 at 07:48 AM.
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I totally understand what you are thinking.
My wedding was beautiful - I was so blessed to be able to have all my family there, and ILs flew in from NZ all on 4 weeks notice...but the day wasn't what DH and I wanted, the food at the reception was beyond disappointing, the reception itself was also bad.
My mother was dying of cancer and I planned the wedding in 5 weeks, I was not happy with my dress, there were people there I wished I didn't have to invite, like mum's "partner" and my dad cracked it the day before the wedding and refused to come - even though the venues were picked TOTALLY based on the fact that he is immobile and in an electric wheelchair (very inflexible)...
I was so happy mum got to see my special day, but thinking about MY wedding - so not what or how I wanted it!
I want to have a second wedding, perhaps in a couple of years and do it the way we wanted. I think that will make me feel a bit better about it.
So I say go for it! Perhaps wait for an anniversary or something - there is no rule that says you can renew your vows one year in or have a second wedding
I so LOVE the idea of the TTD photo session too! Might have to look into that
Anyway, I hope you can sort out your issues with your BM it is not cool that such a good friend (obviously or she wouldnt have been in your wedding to begin with) and you are fighting
DH and I have been planning a big renewal of vows ever since we first got married because of the photo's. The photographer was great, the problem is that we were both really overweight (aka FAT) when we got married. We want some fabulous skinny photo's - some that we are proud to say are us. We are thinking of doing this on our 10th wedding annerversary.
I can understand where you're coming from. I didn't have bridesmaids or anything extravagant (Registry office wedding ) but I was SOOOOOOO pregnant and full of fluid...I hate the pics of me on the day. I want to be a good looking bride
How annoying of your 'friend' I would want her out of my shots too!
Thanks girls.
I thought it might seem weird doing a renewal thing so early.
I love the idea of glamour shots and the TTD photos. I will definatly look into that.
I reckon renew your vows with the people you love & care about deeply to be there and yeh do it on or near your 1st Wedding Anniversary ... it would make for a very memorable 1st Wedding Anniversary too
For starters what a biatch that girl is being! She doesnt deserve to be your friend let alone your bridesmaid! cant believe she is trying to make it all about her!
Secondly I think its a beautiful idea to renew your vows and get teh photos you want and if you do it on your first wedding anniversary you will be able to have your new addition in the photos as well!
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