RSVP's

[visitor1]

Does anyoe else have problems with people NOT replying??

What do you do when they dont....do you chase them up or just assume they are not coming?

[mbear]

Yep, i have a problem with it...its sooooo rude. A simple phone call, text, even a card in the post would be sufficient.

Yes, i would always chase...some people think you should automatically know that of course they would come to the wedding/baptism/birthday...therefore they didnt reply YES.

Its very, very annoying....

[briggsy's girl]

depends on who it is and what it's for. for a big event (wedding etc) where i have to formally cater, i chase them up - and make sure i make them feel guilty - ie "seeing i haven't heard from you and i need to finalise numbers, can you PLEASE let me know what's happening".

if it's something less formal (like a kids birthday party etc) i ASSUME they're not coming - but i always over cater anyway. we have things like sausage rolls in the freezer and chips etc in the cupboard - if people come that we weren't expecting, it takes nothing to take extra food out. i won't cater extra if it's stuff that has to be used straight away and can't be frozen though (so for bbq, we buy from butcher that morning - cook what we need, freeze extra cos we can use it later)

[Kamarine]

I get married next week. And an uncle of DF's refuses to RSVP. He's like I don't know if I'll be there or not.
And its not where he lives so he has to book tickets? But he still doesn't know.
He stopped answering calls/emails too. Even from DFs Mum. But we weren't exactly harassing him either. Maybe 2 calls and 2 emails since June 30th which was final RSVP date.

So at this point we're assuming he's not coming, cause we can't even chase him up.

But I worry cause I have to give final numbers to reception venue today, and if he turns up with wife and a kid or two in tow, its kind of going to be bad.
So I still don't know if I'm making the right choice? Haha.

[Indadhanu]

Yep, got Jazzy's birthday party on Sunday and about 10 people haven't RSVP'd. I'll overcater, because it'll get eaten anyway, but its so annoying for things like chairs and drinks. The ones who don't RSVP will be on the ground! pmsl

[Laranna]

YES! It is my pet peeve at the moment. I'm getting married next week and we had to chase up about 10 RSVP's. During the week I had to help my bridesmaids chase up RSVP's for the hens party on Saturday. We invited 30 people and only 5 gave us an RSVP. I was sooo peeved cause the girls had booked catering and needed to know numbers. I sent a rather blunt text message message saying "I need your RSVP TODAY for the hens party for catering". Got quite a few rsvps straight after that...hehe

But IMO it's rude full stop not to rsvp whether you are going or not. A simple yes or no via text, email or phone is easy to do and does not take much effort or time at all.

[Astrid]

I get married next week. And an uncle of DF's refuses to RSVP. He's like I don't know if I'll be there or not.
And its not where he lives so he has to book tickets? But he still doesn't know.
He stopped answering calls/emails too. Even from DFs Mum. But we weren't exactly harassing him either. Maybe 2 calls and 2 emails since June 30th which was final RSVP date.

So at this point we're assuming he's not coming, cause we can't even chase him up.

But I worry cause I have to give final numbers to reception venue today, and if he turns up with wife and a kid or two in tow, its kind of going to be bad.
So I still don't know if I'm making the right choice? Haha.

My BIL had an uncle that was the same. Would not RSVP and would often bring along extra family who were not invited if he did rock up. In the end the whole extended family had enough and agreed that if he did not RSVP then they were not to cater to him. So one day he did rock up to a wedding, along with extras. A huge fuss was made and they were basically embarrassed in front of everyone who was there (can't remember whether they were told to go, or if they did arrange extra seating and made it very obvious the trouble it caused). He was shown how bad it was to not RSVP, so did the right thing from then one.

I would just not cater for them. Have someone prepared to pull them up before the reception and explain the situation so you are not the one to do it on the day. No RSVP, no seat.

Oh, just a thought, is there a way of contacting his wife directly?

[Daydream Believer]

If its a birthday or something I dont chanse it up but if they turn up, I say to them. I didnt think you were coming because you didnt RSVP.
DDs b'day party was last Sunday & we did little presents for kids instead of lolly bags & 3 kids missed out because their parents didnt RSVP

For weddings/ etc where you have to have numbers I would chanse it up

[briggsy's girl]

we had DD's baptism a couple of weeks ago and 3 people not RSVP - which was pretty damn good! of the people that did RSVP a number of them were "depends on the day as we've been ill" kinda thing - so i catered for them, but not really (if that makes sense) - there was nothing that had to be eaten THAT day provided at higher numbers for them. glad we did it that way cos there was almost 15 people that couldn't make it due to illness - bloody flu and gastro!!!

there will always be unpredictable circumstances (like illness) that you can't avoid - but i think it's only respectful to at least make contact. if you're unsure, than be honest - at least give them SOME inkling of where you're at - and keep them in the loop

[misty]

pretty much what everyone else has said. I remember having mum and DH chase up RSVP's for our wedding. Tended to be people like DH's siblings who didn't RSVP, apparently we are supposed to automatically know who is coming or not. We got to a week or two before the wedding and I just told everyone that if they didn't tell me they were coming by now, Then we would be assuming they wouldn't be there. Even worse were those people who decided to rsvp for themselves and 'others who weren't on the invitation in the first place' ! My family / side was the worst for this - unless the invitation specifies 'guest' you are not entitled to bring one! If you really want someone else to attend with you, talk to the host and ask if it is alright - DO NOT JUST ASSUME!

[Kamarine]

Oh, just a thought, is there a way of contacting his wife directly?

I don't know. DFs dad told us today that he might not be coming.
The really frustrating part? We emailed them and didn't get a response but have had an influx of emails from them, the forwards/chain letters.

He's a pretty good guy, so I was surprised when we had all this trouble.

But seriously how hard is it to know if you're coming or not - a week before the wedding?!

[Indadhanu]

but have had an influx of emails from them, the forwards/chain letters.

:-S how annoying!!!!!!

[Novella]

how frustrating for you. You have politely chased it up now, if I were you I would send another email saying 'as we have not heard from you we will assume you are unable to attend our wedding unless we hear otherwise by xx date.'

I am only just putting together invitations for our wedding atm and Im not looking forward to chasing rsvp's. I get anxious about gettting stuff organised.I have given family os details early so they can book holidays etc and some have already rsvp'd lol (over 6 months before the wedding!)

[smiles4u]

For my DD's 1st huge birthday party we had invited 92 people ... and 43 people didn't RSVP, grrrr ... Geez did i do some chasing

90% of their reason for not RSVP was "Oh, i thought you would know i would come" ... Interesting mostly those i thought would come didn't and those i least expected to come did