If its a birthday or something I dont chanse it up but if they turn up, I say to them. I didnt think you were coming because you didnt RSVP.
DDs b'day party was last Sunday & we did little presents for kids instead of lolly bags & 3 kids missed out because their parents didnt RSVP
For weddings/ etc where you have to have numbers I would chanse it up
we had DD's baptism a couple of weeks ago and 3 people not RSVP - which was pretty damn good! of the people that did RSVP a number of them were "depends on the day as we've been ill" kinda thing - so i catered for them, but not really (if that makes sense) - there was nothing that had to be eaten THAT day provided at higher numbers for them. glad we did it that way cos there was almost 15 people that couldn't make it due to illness - bloody flu and gastro!!!
there will always be unpredictable circumstances (like illness) that you can't avoid - but i think it's only respectful to at least make contact. if you're unsure, than be honest - at least give them SOME inkling of where you're at - and keep them in the loop
pretty much what everyone else has said. I remember having mum and DH chase up RSVP's for our wedding. Tended to be people like DH's siblings who didn't RSVP, apparently we are supposed to automatically know who is coming or not. We got to a week or two before the wedding and I just told everyone that if they didn't tell me they were coming by now, Then we would be assuming they wouldn't be there. Even worse were those people who decided to rsvp for themselves and 'others who weren't on the invitation in the first place' ! My family / side was the worst for this - unless the invitation specifies 'guest' you are not entitled to bring one! If you really want someone else to attend with you, talk to the host and ask if it is alright - DO NOT JUST ASSUME!
for DD1's 1st birthday, none of my family RSVP'd but they all turned up. mum said 'i bet they still turn up..' so i just dropped a few comments 'oh, i hope i have enough food, i didnt get many RSVP's' lol even though i did cater enough.
fair enough if you say you'll be there, then come down sick. just send another text and say 'really sorry but im sick and cant make it' (ok, maybe worded a bit nicer but you get the drift lol)
i'm yet to find out how bad the people we've invited to our wedding are at RSVP'n. It was bad enough for our engagement party! Wedding RSVP's are most important because you need exact numbers.
For something big I would chase up RSVPs. For something informal I was having at home I'd just assume they weren't coming. If they still turned up I would make a comment about not expecting them!!
For our wedding I had to chase up quite a few RSVPs, it's so annoying. How are you supposed to assume certain people are coming? Why would you bother sending invites if this was the case? My DHs aunt didn't RSVP & even when my MIL called her she still wouldn't answer yes or no. Her reason - she didn't know what the weather would be like on the day!! WTF has that got to do with anything?
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