we had DD's baptism a couple of weeks ago and 3 people not RSVP - which was pretty damn good! of the people that did RSVP a number of them were "depends on the day as we've been ill" kinda thing - so i catered for them, but not really (if that makes sense) - there was nothing that had to be eaten THAT day provided at higher numbers for them. glad we did it that way cos there was almost 15 people that couldn't make it due to illness - bloody flu and gastro!!!

there will always be unpredictable circumstances (like illness) that you can't avoid - but i think it's only respectful to at least make contact. if you're unsure, than be honest - at least give them SOME inkling of where you're at - and keep them in the loop