Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I got married when I was 20, how insulting that someone should suggest you need a large wedding in your 30's for it to be "proper".

Anyway some of the cost cutting exercises I used:

found a fab designer gown then got a local dressmaker to copy it for a fraction of the cost.
My mum made the bridesmaid dress.
Asked a friend to make my cake, which she did for only the cost of the ingredients
Kept the guest list small (only 17) and they all stayed for the reception which was dinner and drinks. My dad paid for the meal (thanks daddy), we paid for a glass of sparkling wine for all the guests, and there was no free bar. Nobody seemed to mind paying for their own drinks though.
Did not have a band at my reception
Kept flowers to a minimum (my bouquet, my bridesmaid's and buttonholes for the men).

I am sure you will have a wonderful day

T
xx