So we are off to a wedding next weekend. They are good friends of ours, and DD1 is going to be their flowergirl too.
The bride's aunt is making the flowergirl dress, and I know that once upon a time (I think), we would have to pay for her dress. But so far the bride hasnt said anything to me about it. Should I offer to pay for it or wait for the bride to ask me??

Also is the flowergirl required to buy the bride a present for the day as well?

Also the bride and groom have decided that instead of wedding gifts they would prefer guests to place money into a wishing well. Our personal problem is that, the most we can give would be at most $40 (you know the deal, single income and we are spending $$$ on going away for the wedding, accommodation, etc).

We have a few issues with the whole wishing well thing. We feel that it is a bit rude to ask people for money. I would personally rather choose a present to give them, something that comes from the heart. And well this couple is very well off. Unfortunately this last one, really sits uneasy with us. I don't comfortable giving people money, especially when they don't need it, there are so many people out there who need the money more than them.

how would you handle the wishing well situation?