What do you wish you had done between engaged and married?

[LuluHB]

With the expensive dress shopping day (or any dress shopping) bear in mind you will need an appointment, and if you and your sister go on a Saturday be prepared to be shoved through rather quickly - its not necessarily the nice, relaxing day you imagined it would be so if you can make dress shopping a week day. There is one particular bridal shop in Perth where I had to fill out an application form(!!) and on it was a question asking what my budget was. A friend had gone there a month before and said her budget was $3,000 and she was promptly asked to leave because that was too little for the store. I also had a friend told by the woman in the same store that there was nothing suitable because she was a very large girl. I think that particular store needs to have its time wasted ;-) My only word of warning is that while I don't think you need to spend a fortune to find a beautiful dress, the last thing you want is to find THE dress that you tried on for a laugh that costs $10,000.

I'm all for pamper days - my bridesmaid and I had one the day before my wedding. I'm also all for pamper weekends - the two of you head out to the Valley or down south for the weekend and do serious girl stuff.

Also doing the rounds of various places for ceremony/reception too if her man isn't interested. Cake tasting is a fantastic day out too.

[feeb]

I tryed on many dresses at a few shops the shop I actually bought from I went in for 3 appts was never an issue, never was I made to feel pressured only made to feel like a princess.

[Astrid]

I also had a friend told by the woman in the same store that there was nothing suitable because she was a very large girl. I think that particular store needs to have its time wasted ;-) .

Yes, I got the "All out bigger girls wear this dress!" It was the most hideous thing, I would have cancelled the wedding, rather than worn it! Made her give me a normal dress to try on and she was shocked as it actually suited me (fit me in the waist, but not in the boobs).

There have been some articles lately about paying for appointments. Mainly due to many brides shopping overseas now, so they try on the dress they like and buy it off eBay.

[Traveller]

I got my dress design off the internet and then made by a local dressmaker (this was unusual 11 years ago) but I really wanted to try on heaps of dresses. Nobody would come with me though, so the first time I got to try a dress on was my own one a fortnight or so before my wedding. Luckily it was the "wow this is the dress I want" moment though

As for the opening question, I would say a make-up and hair trial at a few different places to find the perfect one for the big day. Also some time visiting florists and bakers choosing flowers and cakes. All the fun stuff

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

That's a point - she's worked really hard and is a size 18, but I really don't want her getting that kind of attitude, so I'll check with the store before making the appointment.

[LuluHB]

They should be able to still work with her size Keike. I was a 16/18 when I first went looking when I got married and went to both high end couture and off the rack places. All of them managed to either loosen the laces and insert some fabric where the zip didn't do up, or with with the designer dresses they pinned in a panel of fabric at the back so I still got a really good idea of how it would look. I didn't mean to say that to scare you away from anywhere - I was very lucky/stupid (depending on how you think of these things) when I got married and had no budget which changed the attitude of staff drastically in my favour at all but one store (and short of being a 5"10 50kgs blonde nothing was going to please her!), and it really was useful going to the higher end stores because they had great ideas of how the styles could be tweaked to suit those of us with more womanly curves than others ;-)

[Astrid]

Some stores were fantastic, but others just plain rude or scary. At the time (13 years ago ) they seemed to stock size 12 as standard for fittings. The best service I received was from a pokey little store with older ladies and surprisingly they had some great dresses.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Yup, I'd go with "breaking up with him"! Certainly pre-marital counselling (which he refused) and a pre-nup about things that are important to me, like having children and being appreciated.

I love trying on wedding dresses and am tempted to take off my wedding ring, just wear the engagement one and go into some shops to do it now! I went to three different shops to try on dresses. One shop we refused to return to because they were rude, and we were serious customers, so I would say it's a good idea to get the ethos of the shop before you get serious about finding The Dress.

A day out with her sisters and sisters-in-law-to-be, to see how the girls of the families get along. If the sisters-in-law-to-be are not the sort of people you want to be around, it's worth thinking about the family values that you're marrying into. Not saying it's a deal-breaker, but it is indicitive of how your sister will be expected to act when around her in-laws.

[nothing2lose]

I just dont get the whole wedding dress thing.

[Beatrix]

Def try on lots of dresses.

The dress I brought for my wedding is one I wouldn't have chosen myself!! The lady suggested it in the dress shop and I screwed my nose up at it. Figured what the heck, I was half naked anyway and one more dress wouldn't make much difference.

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

That's how my try on session went as well Beatrix, she said what I wanted wouldn't look any good and put me in something I'd never have picked for myself, and WOW! Even though I couldn't afford that dress, I got a lower key version from a different store at a tenth of the price, but it never would've happened if it weren't for that first dress.

I don't actually know if he has any sisters, I know he has a brother. His whole family is in Mauritius though, so I doubt any of them will be here much before the wedding.

ETA - what is it you don't get N2L?

[Beatrix]

Yeah kieke I love my dress!! Stunning simple yet elegant. Looked like a sack of boring potatoes on the coat hanger.

Oh I want to do my day again!!!!

[nothing2lose]

Pretty much the whole thing Keike. Spending mega bucks to look like a "princess" (blugghhh) meringue, the dress being white to denote the bride's "purity" (which is usually a moot point anyway), the almost always overpriced dress usually being totally functionless and almost aways never able to be worn again..... I guess it stems from my feeling that some people spend too much time worrying about the wedding and not enough considering the marriage.

I guess I am a wedding scrooge

[Beatrix]

Lol my wedding dress cost $340.

[Astrid]

N2L - the white dress meaning purity is a whole load of BS. It used to be that you wore your best dress, be that brown, red, blue etc, if it was new at the time, often the decorative features would be removed, so it could then be worn for everyday or sunday best. Then Queen Victoria wore white (being the queen she could afford to have a new dress), so it then became the fashion. Then somewhere along the line the meaning behind the white got lost/twisted to the purity meaning.

[nothing2lose]

Either way Astrid, I wouldnt be seen dead in one. (Which is kind of fitting seeing as many women were buried in their wedding dresses back in the day).

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I had white because I had white roses (for my county) and wanted the dress to match the flowers. The dress I wanted wasn't expensive either, but my mother said no and bought me an expensive one which was lovely but I can't wear again.

I'm considering having the top of it turned into a nice corset top so I can keep wearing it. Maybe better think about that before I get too old.

And I wouldn't go with looking like a princess to a wedding. Did you see what Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice wore to the last wedding they attended? For shame, the designers of those clothes, for shame.

[Astrid]

Either way Astrid, I wouldnt be seen dead in one. (Which is kind of fitting seeing as many women were buried in their wedding dresses back in the day).

I would really confuse archaeologists of the future if I was ever buried in my wedding dress. "Why is a 20/21st century woman wearing a design from 1520's Saxony?" I ended up not wearing the typical wedding dress and mine has been worn many times since