From the first day I met my DH I wanted to be his wife I love being his wife and as someone said we are the ***** family. I did not necessarily want the wedding (we both hated organising it) but we wanted to be together for ever in the eyes of god, the law and our family.
I was actually quiet surprised about how important is was to me. I honestly think it has made us stronger.
I have never had any visions of getting married nor pre planned a wedding.
I do/did believe in the institution of marriage. My parents have one of the most solid marriages I have come across so that lays a great foundation of belief.
When I got with DH, I just wanted to marry him.
Actually I wanted to scream from the rooftops that he was the person I wanted to grow old with. I wanted to stand and declare that before my friends and family and before God. And have a great party to celebrate that.
Initially it didn't change our relationship. Children did that more, but as you grow together, comfort and contentness I think add to it's value.
DH and I have been together since we were 13. What started out as the usual awkward/cute high school romance grew into something more serious, and over the years our relationship matured as we did. By the time we turned 18 we'd been together for over five years and getting engaged/married felt like the natural next step. We got married the day before I turned 20. Like others have said, it didn't change our relationship... though our relationship has continued to evolve and change as the years go on. Having DS changed things more than marriage, that's for sure!
We're now in our 12th year as a couple, and 6th year as a married couple .
Because we wanted to and it felt right for us. We didn't want to have kids without being married, but that wasn't our reason for doing it when we did. We just wanted to cement it, make it real for everyone else around us. And it somehow made things a little sweeter, nicer. I found it is different, not the love or how you feel about each other, but the feeling I had about me. We were together for almost six years when we got married, lived together for four before the wedding and we've been married for six. DD came along just before our forth anniversary.
I had never considered marriage until I met my dh. It just felt right, he's my best buddy and I love him. We had a very small ceremony and dinner with immediate family.
As lots of the others have said, marriage on it's own didn't change our relationship, it was kids! It's not a bad thing, it's just a different dynamic. We can't be as impulsive as we used to etc. I would say I definitely love him more though, I think seeing him as a father did that.
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I never thought we would get married, we were together 9 years before we did and for most of that I just wasn't interested in it. I wanted his surname, I didn't like my own and over time I had also realized that I didn't want a wedding but I did want to be married, I wanted to be able to say husband and be his wife (strangely though I find it hard to refer to him as my husband still - just habit I think). DH had said that was too weird for me to just take his surname - so I asked him on Feb 29th. and we got married a year later when I was 28 weeks pregnant, very small informal ceremony. I don't think has changed our relationship at all.
A lot of people including myself thought I would marry my bf. I still think about it.
I got married as part of a dream. I had a torn family as a child. By the time I was 14 I had lived with my aunt, Nanna, mum, dad, aunt 2, friend and finally foster home.
Dd was 2 when I got married and I love dh and will do whatever it takes to make us work.
My biggest dream in life isn't a career or money or a home it's to have a family. I want to give my dd what I never had and I want to be part of something I missed in my childhood.
Dh was never my forever man....... Bf was. But I got lucky, we have had huge downs but my dh tries his best when I am down, he takes care of me, has a great family, and i think myself very lucky to have married my gorgeous daddyduck!!
I struggled leading up to the wedding, was I doing it for the right reason, was he??? But now he is my forever man and I couldn't be happier
i have currently been with my DF for just over 8 yrs and we only just got engaged on christmas day we currently have 2 children together ( we were together for 5yrs before we had our first baby and 8yrs for our second)
i never was a big believer in getting married i never really understood the whole concept of it, we had kids and i finally decided i really wanted to get married and DF i think also finally realised he wanted to marry me so we all have the same surname and can actually be classed as the 'C***** Family' which to me now makes sense i am excited to take on his last name and actually have the same name as my children instead of telling everyone their lastname is different to mine
We have also lived with each other since we were together for about 5 months, quick i know but just how things turned out and i wouldnt change anything for the world of me, i will agree with everyone else though that kids do change things but as my DF said if we can have kids and stick together then why not get married its nothing different really but a ring and a piece of paper to declare our love witch we already know whereas kids are a totally different thing!!!
Nothing has changed we both love each other still the same and im sure getting married well we both are excited about it but also dont think it will change much except for the fact i'll be his wife and he'll be my husband instead of just my partner/fiance
im now excited but mighty nervous to get married next year! we are planning on getting married on our 10yr anniversary
may i also add we both come from broken families which i guess could also play part in why we have waited so long to get married also
Last edited by mummy of 3 boys; April 26th, 2011 at 10:14 PM.
i moved in with my now dh 3 weeks after meeting him, bought a house 1.5 yrs later, engaged, and then married after being together for 2 years.. for us, we were so in love (still are) it just seemed like the next step for us, and the right thing for us, as everything else moved so quickly.. plus we wanted to be married before we started a family!
i couldnt imagine doing it any other way, or with anybody else!
I wanted to get married, DH wanted to get married - we met each other and would have pretty happily married each other after about 4 months! Except for I wouldn't get the wedding I had planned for all my life. We had to be engaged three years so I could get that.
I don't know if it would have lasted - we had some odd years together as an engaged couple. Marriage hasn't changed that much about us, nor has having children: we always took each other a bit for granted and stayed in a lot LOL!
I married the man I loved because I'm a traditionalist and it was the next step, but mostly I felt that taking that time, and expense (although it doesn't need to be $$$) to get up in front of friends, family, and even strangers to make a formal declaration of commitment provides a level of security - even if it's just mental (although there are still a few legal rights that are automatic or at least easier to enforce in comparison to being defacto) - for both of us and our children.
We didn't live together before we got married, so marriage changed us quite a lot, but that is most probably more learning how to live with someone else, making joint rather than individual decisions - that sort of thing. I agree with the others that children change the relationship more, because you both take on new roles in relation to each other and a third (or fourth/fifth etc) party.
We had been together for a year & were talking about having a baby (I already had Panda), my younger sister asked if she could be a flowergirl when we got married & that kicked off the conversation.
Not to sound too fickle about it but I also knew of couples who had been together 7+ years, gotten married & then separated a year or so later. I thought there wasn't much point in waiting if you were comitted, you may as well go ahead & do it.
I was 19 and I knew that we would change & grow over the years.. I said to my uncle on my wedding day if we got 5 good years I figured it would be worth it. We had our 14th wedding anniversary this month, so I guess it was worth doing
ETA - as for changing things - it didn't really, although I think possibly it did make me feel more cemented within the relationship. Maybe. Our relationship has changed an awful lot over the years though, it is definitley not the same as it was when we married.
DP and I are not married. We have been together for 6 years, 4 months and two days, and met afew months before that. I would have liked to do things the 'proper' way, he thinks marriage is silly. 'Whats a piece of paper going to prove?'. It sends me crazy. He asks me why i want it, and I feel that 'because I bloody well want it', should be a sufficient answer. There's heaps of reasons why I want it, some of which I can't really describe. For me, it's an urge, similar to the one you get when you know you really want a baby. I just want it
I never believed in marriage or understood why people bothered. My parent's marriage was a disaster so not a very good example. I also started to believe it was all part of a patriarchal conspiracy to enslave women and formalise prostitution. It wasn't until my mum married my stepdad that I had an aha momrnt and realised it was about love and respect and honouring the other person.
I had a defacto relationship for a while that I kept thinking would end in marriage despite my mum's terror of me being with someone she thought was abusive ( what do mum's know....in my case she was so right). There were a number of issues i was too scared to address but i figured they'd be fixed when we got married. It wasnt until I had another aha moment that I realised you marry a person as they are and love and accept them for it. If you want someone to change, dont marry them. If you need someone to change that much, they're the wrong person.
Later, after taking a few years to grow up, I met my now DH. I didnt see the point in living with someone unless their was an acknowledged commitment. For me there was no point in shacking up and having kids if we weren't in it for the long run. This isnt a criticism of others, but from a practical and emotional point of view, I dont understand buying property and commiting to a 20+ year mortgage with someone unless there's a deeper commitment there. It's one thing to make a business decision but I'm too wary of sexually transmitted debt to make investment decisions with a bf.
Anyway, we had a chat and agreed we both wanted marriage and kids. He proposed 9 months later, we moved in together a month later and got married a year after that. I cant say anything's really changed except the commitment feels deeper. I would probably make more of an effort for my DH than I would for any BF. But then, he's the love of my life and he treats me like a queen. He's more than worth it.
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dh proposed 2 weeks after meeting and it was very romantic! it's our 5 year anniversary in May and we've never looked back.
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