Our committment ceremony... does this sound a bit budget?
Basically, we don't want to spend a small fortune on our committment ceremony (Sept. 19, the anniversary of the first time we physically met).
Simple outdoor/garden ceremony, very small, low-key and casual, and afterwards we didn't really want a huge recetpion thing so were thinking about having dinner at a nice restaurant, and whoever wanted to come could come. Kids welcome etc, like I said, really laid back, Shel and I would love to come together and celebrate our committment to one another, nothing OTT.
Would it be a bit budget to say no presents (we don't want presents) but maybe everyone could perhaps maybe buy their own dinner? Is that too much to ask? I know its customary/traditional etc but then we're not really customary/traditional It wouldn't be an overly expensive restaurant, just somewhere nice to go out afterwards.
We just feel for us it would be waaaaaaaaay too over the top to have a recpetion at a hall with music and booze etc as we're not that kind of people (would be hard pressed FILLING a hall PMSL).
We also would do the champas / wine for toasting at the dinner, but not beer/spirits as we don't drink so I don't see why we should pay for everyone else to get ****ed and be idiots.
LOL am I way out of line.
Oh, our family are also pretty low-key and casual, but I was just wondering if you got an invite to a committment ceremony like this, would you go? What would be your thoughts.
We did have a "no frills" wedding - in our own way. I loathed the idea of having to pick chair bows or anything of the sort. And we did have a small wedding - only 30 guests. But we did it in the Greek Islands - so that was the big cost! No offence taken - I was being cheeky
You should hang your head in shame - Greece?? I'm JEALOUS!
See, I don't think it's the cost thing in this thread - just what the money is usually spent on with weddings that cost heaps I, too, think that kind of money is best spent on a bloody good holiday and an occasion that lasts for longer than a few hours!
I've been looking into an offshore wedding, too - but for far less than 30 heads, mind you...still want that farm!
Back to OT, really, a committment ceremony is not about a 'big day' - it's about sharing a moment and celebrating it in a non-traditional way...so break with the tradition of paying for everyone, by all means
Leash i think its perfectly fine! i agree, some crafty wording so that people know not to buy a present, and be prepared to pay for their dinner. i dont think anyone would have a problem with that at all.
its your day, you chose how you want to celebrate!!!!!!!!
That's the exact sort of wedding that *I* want. Just people you actually want there and not all the blow in's that you feel oblidged to invite. DF thinks if I have a small low key wedding I'll regret it as he thinks every girl wants the 30K wedding. Pffttt! No way in hell!
I think what you're doing sounds lovely, and at the end of the day, it's for you guys and not everyone else.
We went to a commitment ceremony, and the boys asked that rather than gifts they asked us to pay for our dinner $50 per head and we got to choose our meals from the set menu... it was worded really nicely - so didn't offend or anything... will see if I can find it at home if you like
Some of our wedding presents still havent been used 4 years on. I think something along the lines of 'As we have been living in our home for a while, we have most items we need. We would appreciate each guest paying for their own meal at the reception as their gift to us.
Try to keep the menu options lower priced as some people will struggle with prices when there is a family, and find out if kids meals are cheaper.
If I received an invitation to a friends' commitment ceremony, yes I would attend. It doesn't matter whether it's a commitment ceremony or a wedding. A wedding is exactly that, a commitment ceremony, but usually with the flash dress, flowers etc.
Remember who's day it is. It's yours and Shel's. No-one else's. If you think you're doing it on the cheap, then changed your plans a little. If you're happy with your plans, then keep them.
IMO, I don't think what you're doing looks cheap. You want it to be a casual, intimate affair. So asking your guests to buy their own dinner fits in well with that theme.
Most weddings you go to only offer beer, wine & softdrink anyway. As yours is only a small, casual dinner, than to not offer alcohol is fine. Having a champagne toast will certainly bring special meaning to it.
I think it's fine. Although I wouldn't write it that way on the invitation. Get your family to spread the word that you don't want presents. Some people will buy something anyway - even if they are told not to.
Instead, I would send the invitation with words along the line of...
The ceremony will be followed by a relaxed dinner at XYZ. Drinks provided.
That way people will realise they have to pay for their own meal and they won't assosiate it with the no gift thing. They will be two seperate things.
I think it sounds lovely!!
Last edited by Aimz; January 8th, 2009 at 09:46 AM.
If I got invited to a friends/family members ceremony I would go - there'd be no question about it. I think if you came up with some clever wording then it owuld be fine, so long as people know in advance then they would be fine with it. Now if you did it the way a couple I know did it, where there was no warning the guests had to pay for their own very exxie dinner and the first they knew about it was when someone came around asking them for the money, then that would be rude ROFL.
I would also word it cleverly in the invite - some people don't get subtlety and might think that dinner is paid for but drinks are not. The people you want to have there will not be offended by this and those that are have missed the point and are probably not deserving to be there
Really, if they're being asked to be there for you and you don't want their gifts, it has GOT to be cheaper to pay their own dinner than buy a gift, doesn't it??
THanks everyone, I feel much better now. I've just heard of some weddings (and seen on Discovery home and health) some weddings which cost upwards of $20000... WTF? For a WEDDING? It just blows my mind that people would spend that much on material things, when its not about the accessories on the table or an expensive dress or the 'perfect' venue...
Anyway, I guess for us its different because we can't legally marry so even just having the opportunity to come together in front of our family and friends and showing them how much we love each other is enough, not expensive things (our rings won't cost more than $1000 together).
Maya, that was our theory, better off for everyone that they just pay for their dinner (that way they can choose what they want, not a set menu which I personally HATE lol) than spend money and buy us something that chances are we probably don't need anyway as we pretty much set ourselves up already.
Trillian, PMSL, ah no, we'll definately spell it out... tactfully of course, but probably not be subtle!
I think that's perfectly fine. We went to a family members wedding a few years ago where they did this. No presents, and we paid for our dinner which was around $30pp plus drinks. I don't think anyone had a problem with it. You just need to find a way to word it on the invitations so that there is no confusion.
Our committment ceremony... does this sound a bit budget?
Is that too much to ask? I know its customary/traditional etc but then we're not really customary/traditional
It wouldn't be an overly expensive restaurant, just somewhere nice to go out afterwards.
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I, too, think that kind of money is best spent on a bloody good holiday and an occasion that lasts for longer than a few hours!
WTF? For a WEDDING? It just blows my mind that people would spend that much on material things, when its not about the accessories on the table or an expensive dress or the 'perfect' venue...
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