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Thread: would you be offended paying for own drinks at a wedding?

  1. #1

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    Default would you be offended paying for own drinks at a wedding?

    Df and I have been engaged for like 5 years now, we talk bout getting married but want to do it on the cheap.
    All I want is family and close friends, have a celebrant in a park then hire out a function room and provide finger food.
    I know alcohol can be exxy so we decided we won't have a bar tab, guests can just buy there own drinks as the night goes on.
    Now does this seem rude to you, would you expect being a wedding having alcohol provided?
    We won't be asking for anything from people, we don't want gifts or anything just people to be there.


  2. #2

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    its your wedding darl, so whats the best and right thing for you

  3. #3

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    Thanks I just feel like we're being tight arses or something, but thats why we always put off getting married cause always think money better spent elsewhere like mortgage.

  4. #4

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    not at all! maybe say no gifts if your worried!

  5. #5

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    I hope people don't think it's rude, there was no free bar at our wedding! We had a few bottles of fizzy wine for toasts and provided wine at the meal, but after that they paid for their own. If anyone was offended they certainly did not tell me

  6. #6

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    Personally I would shout at least one round of drinks for toasts... as it would be a thankyou type thing to your guests for attending your wedding.

    I only had 15 people at my wedding and the whole wedding and reception .. food ceremony everything was abouit 2500 .. pretty good value if you shop around!

  7. #7

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    No way, not rude at all! DF and I are considering something similar, we're getting married next year and it will be a very small, low key affair. We won't be asking for gifts, but if people want to get a gift we'll be letting people know a small cash gift would be appreciated but is definately not the only option, to go towards our honeymoon. Some people think this is tacky but tbh it's our wedding, we don't want gifts at all as we have all the material things we need. We'll be having a small ceremony, and a small reception where we'll provide some food. I think it's okay to expect people to buy their own drinks, especially at a smaller wedding.

  8. #8

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    Place on the invite that alcoholic beverages will be available to purchase on the day. That way, people are aware in advance and in writing. If it is family and close friends only, when you hand out the invites tell them you do not want any gifts as it is such as small gathering and you would rather they came to share your day with you.

  9. #9

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    deleted

  10. #10

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    i've been to heaps of weddings with "drinks at bar prices" - as long as it's on the invite so people are prepared, not rude at all

    i do agree it's nice (but not essential) to have some bubbles or something that you shout for toasts, but that doesn't have to be excessively expensive.


    we put on beer, wine and softdrink (but the venue were ok with people bringing their own red so that they had what they wanted!). everything else was at bar prices, and when our tab ran out, everyone would have been paying their own. we had over 130 people, and because the venue put on top shelf at respectable bar prices, everyone drank top shelf and we ended up using less than 75% of what we'd put over the bar - the rest we ended up giving as a donation to the football/netball club we had the receptionat

  11. #11

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    Hiya we got married 5 months ago as such.

    2pm Ceremony 4pm Afternoon Tea (sandwiches, sausage rolls, vol au vents & scones, mini cakes etc) - champagne round for toasts. (With 40ish guests I think we bought 6-7 bottles)

    We kept it a small family affair and it was perfect. I don't care how cheap people thought it was - we did it to get married! It was nice that they could all join us and I am thankful for every person that did.

    We would have put it off forever if family hadnt of contributed so it was the best gift we could ask for.

    Good luck!

  12. #12

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    I did wedding photography for the best part of 8 years, and many, many weddings have no alcohol. Some had alcohol for the bridal table & parents. Most had beer & wine only. For mine we had pre-dinner drinks, I bought premix ****tails (cosmos) and served them with ice, it was $7.95/bottle which served 4 drinks, and I got a discount from the off-licence for buying and bulk, and returned the unopened for a refund A couple of boxes of bubbly is more expensive than this, and my ****tails just as good for toasting, and a bit of a talking point (and cosmos!!!!! Pink!!!!)

    I do agree with having something for toasting though, and if you put it on the invite then people are prepared.

  13. #13

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    No not at all.
    Personally though I would see if we could provide Champagne for the toasts (doesn't have to be exxy or anything)

    Good luck!

  14. #14

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    Ours had a couple of bottles of champers and a bunch of soft drink for people, but no alcohol was provided. I recently attended a wedding where I had to buy every drink I consumed. Only kids drinks were free. No dramas at all.

  15. #15

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    I was going to say the same as BG - it's not rude at all as long as it's on the invite or you let your guests know beforehand so they are prepared. I have been to heaps of weddings where we had to buy our own drinks and it doesn't bother me unless they don't tell us but I always take cash with me to a wedding now just in case we have to buy our own drinks. At our wedding, my parents paid for softdrinks and juice for all our guests and we had punch on the tables. Alcohol was available and people could buy their own. We provided drinks for toasts.

    I went to a wedding a few years ago where we were given drink tokens - the B & G paid for three drinks each for everyone and after that we had to pay for our own. They put them under our placecards on the tables. It worked okay too as another option.

  16. #16

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    I wouldnt be offended but I dont drink much. As long as its on the invites i couldnt see a problem with it

  17. #17

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    Me - not at all.

    My family - yep!

    When we got married we decided on no alcohol as neither my husband nor I drink at all. We even got non-alcoholic fizzy grape juice (the name of which entirely escapes me right now!) for toasts. Soft drinks were provided free...

    Some of my relatives (the ones who get plastered at every opportunity) were offended and had a huge grumble. Some of my friends were disappointed with the lack of champagne, but they went and bought a bottle for their own table, but said they completely understood why we had done what we had and were ok with it.

    I think if you make it clear on the invitations, then everything will be fine.

  18. #18

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    Wouldn't be offended at all, but I would like to know before hand, as I often don't carry money on me when I go out..

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