would you be offended paying for own drinks at a wedding?

[Traveller]

I have never been at a wedding where there was a free bar, and would not expect it to be on the invitations tbh.

[shellbell3]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate all the replies, I feel alot better about the decision now. We will put "drinks at bar prices" on invites. And I do like the idea providing something for the toast. Seeing as it won't be a big wedding it won't be too much.

[Glamourcide]

I think it's totally fine to not have a bar tab. Weddings are notorious p-ups, I know a couple who provided drinks for their guests and the bar tab alone was nearly $8000 by the end of the night :/ Not cool!
Every wedding I've been to, they've either asked guests to pay for their own drinks and just provided something for the toasts, or they've had a stipulation that the only free drinks available will be house wine and whatever beer is cheap, and when the tab gets to a certain $ amount, it's off and you pay for your own drinks from then on. It works out well for everyone, the bride and groom don't get into a huge hole paying for their guests to get tipsy, and the guests are usually well-behaved as they're not just sinking every bit of booze they can get their hands on - having to pay their own way keeps them in line, kwim?

I'd just put a little note on the invites letting guests know that due to budget constraints or whatever, they should be prepared to pay for their own drinks and maybe provide some sparkling wine for the toasts I'd definitely not be offended if I got a wedding invite saying as much, and the prior warning would ensure I had enough cash with me on the day to have a good time Go for it!

[feeb]

Wouldn't have a problem with it at all, as long as on invite. I went to a wedding that was pay your own way meal and drinks.

I do think it depends on your guests though. We had $2000 worth of beer, white and red wine, champagne (some better beer and cruisers for bridal party and parents) and when we went to pay day after, as the place that supplied picked up from reception what not used. We only had to pay for $715 as not much was drank in comparison to what we budgeted for.

[The[cookie]Doctor]

I thought I should add our invite stipulated "Alcoholic Drinks at bar prices"

[Cocolove]

DH & I had requested no gifts but in leiu we had asked guests to pay for their dinner & had an open menu (normal restaurant menu not set one so they could spend as little or as much as they liked)
we also had said there would be drinks at bar prices & noone seemed to mind but it just so happened that my dad & brother in law had put over 500 on the bar & we had 50 guests so we did it on the cheap also as thats all we could afford at the time, I have plenty of tips.

Because we had only 50 guests we got a section of the restaurant without having to pay hire as they could still open the rest of the restaurant to the public, which didnt bother us as the room we were in wasnt with he general public, we also had a bakery make our cake a 2 tier choc mudcake for $120, I brought my dress off the rack at Noni B, got a minister to perform the ceremony out of the church in a garden which was only $100 donation to the church (compared to a $400 celebrant), we got married for less that $5k

Here are some pics if you want any more tips, PM me

i also still have my veil, you could have it if you wanted it, free of course i wont be using it again

[Mak]

Completely fine! I agree with stating on the invite as it is means that no one has preconceived ideas and then gets 'dissappointed' (sorry I was looking for a better word but no luck) when they get there. BIL got married - they had drinks at bar prices and didn't tell anyone first which left a few people short on cash etc. They also had champagne for their toast and got everyone else bubbles of the soapy kind which was a little strange as it highlighted the fact they had bought some fizz for themselves and no one else.
Congratulations and try not to worry about anyone else - your wedding your way!!! xxx

[luna moth]

TBH I would (and did) skimp on other things rather than that.
I wouldn't be offended to receive your invite saying drinks at bar prices though, I see no problem with it. I think it can potentially save you a few issues - you know, like when there's an open bar and someone always feels they have to get the most bang for your buck and totals themselves and it's all embarrassing.

Interesting point, BW, about you guys not being drinkers, and therefore not being OK with providing it for others. We're not meat eaters, and had big dilemmas about whether we were OK with serving meat to our guests and therefore condoning its consumption. Hmmm....

[Jennifer13]

Why don't you ask one of your guests (or if someone asks you what they can get you) to bring a couple of nice bottles of wine/champagne, if you don't have many people coming?

I wouldn't expect alcohol to be provided necessarily, but if there's going to be a toast to the married couple, some donated/gifted champagne might come in handy!

But definitely not a bar tab. You should talk to the function centre though, when we put on a function for DP's 30th we got them to provide a ****tail on arrival for a relatively cheap price. DP's brother provided a bottle of wine for each table and we were set.

[~Raven~]

I would prefer to pay for my own drinks than to be served up cheap cask wine I've been to more than one wedding that provided goon