I'm currently on Mat Leave but when I was working we weren't made to attend just "strongly encouraged" so i would try and attend at least one a year (we used to have one each quarter) and maybe for the second one just pop in for a quick hello and leave, this was enough to get rid of the guilts from other workers and from myself as well. Our functions were always fairly informal though so that was easy enough and I always left before things got messy.
I went to all the work social things when i was childless. (not that we have many but i did go). i still wanted to go after i got back from mat leave but really couldn't as needed to get home to DD and same as you , did prefer her company to work's company. Now 7 years later, i never go to work things and don't miss it at all. don't feel guilty, work is work and home is your first committment and "home is where the heart is" (sorry if that is too cheesy LOL)
i dont go to work functions anymore. i dont like some of the people i work with so i find that trying to socialise outside of work with them is pointless. besides i am only going to get ignored there like i do at work! they also tend to go out all the time and i never get an invite but thats fine with me. i think work and social life should be seperate anyway.
I generally say I have family commitments.
Are they events that are important for your job, i.e networking etc, or purely social?
There are a few things I go to where there's an actual connection to my job, but if its just drinking etc I dont tend to go.
Our tea, at work have drinks the last Friday of the month, which I go to, but thats in work time and no one has more than 1-2 drinks.
I rarely went to work functions and never go now. Because they just get drunk, sleep together then get into trouble theres a fight and there are tears so i avoid them. Im not really friends with anyone i work with so dont really want to see them outside of work.
I work in a uni (like you I think?). I never go to social events for the school, faculty or campus. But we work in a small little centre and always go to social events there. Firstly because if we are having one it is generally important and secondly everyone is nice and gets along. If we didn't get along I would go to those that are truly important and leave the others.
I love work socials. Meeting people's OHs, seeing what they are like outside of work. I especially love work balls - I have some gorgeous dresses I have nowhere to wear them to, so work balls rock. Then again, I get on with co-workers and so does DH.
Having said that, the penultimate work social I attended DH was in France so I took DS as my guest. And didn't get that drunk. The last one DH and DS both didn't attend and had a boys' night in instead. I did get a little more than beswipst on that occasion, but switched to non-alcoholic drinks before I got drunk. Up to me to not be embarrassing to myself, IMO.
We occasisionally have work social events we are 'very strongly engouraged' to attend. But they are only very occaisional (thank goodness).
DH gets hit up for things like this all the time. Lunches, dinners, other functions. He basically has no choice (or rather if he did choose not to attend, it could very well mean the end of his job). The worst part is that these are expenses which need to come out of 'our' pocket. I wouldn't mind so much if work paid for them all, but when we are forced to fork out for them even when we would prefer he don't attend in the first place, it is a real kick in the teeth. (he does also attend alot of functions which are paid for by his work, but many of them ones aren't). Sometimes, it isn't just him who is expected to attend, but me also - even though I am not even an employee. A big part of his current role is networking, but it is also the culture of the organisation he works for too (where most people at his level are from double income familys / couples - he is a public servant, but I won't say which dept. ).
they also tend to go out all the time and i never get an invite but thats fine with me. i think work and social life should be seperate anyway.
and no one has more than 1-2 drinks.
).
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