Working Mums - Are you made to attend social work functions?

[Starfish]

This is a bit of a vent, but I'd like some other opinions.

First of all I'll start by saying that I absolutely hate work social events. I think you go to work to work, and it is a hugely bad look for co-workers to see each other passing out drunk, saying stupid things, etc. So most of the time I avoid them when I can. I am fortunate that in my job I am not really a member of any particular department, so can usually get away with not going.

However, when the whole organisation gets together, I am made to feel so guilty for not wanting to go to these things. Do other mums feel like that too?

I usually love my job. The people are (mostly) great, but I really don't like these social things. If I'm not working, I want to be spending time with DD. Is there a graceful way to get out attending these things, or will I have to suffer the guilts each time I turn down an invite??

[KimmyF]

I'm currently on Mat Leave but when I was working we weren't made to attend just "strongly encouraged" so i would try and attend at least one a year (we used to have one each quarter) and maybe for the second one just pop in for a quick hello and leave, this was enough to get rid of the guilts from other workers and from myself as well. Our functions were always fairly informal though so that was easy enough and I always left before things got messy.

HTH

[anney]

I went to all the work social things when i was childless. (not that we have many but i did go). i still wanted to go after i got back from mat leave but really couldn't as needed to get home to DD and same as you , did prefer her company to work's company. Now 7 years later, i never go to work things and don't miss it at all. don't feel guilty, work is work and home is your first committment and "home is where the heart is" (sorry if that is too cheesy LOL)

[teresa]

i dont go to work functions anymore. i dont like some of the people i work with so i find that trying to socialise outside of work with them is pointless. besides i am only going to get ignored there like i do at work! they also tend to go out all the time and i never get an invite but thats fine with me. i think work and social life should be seperate anyway.

[Pandora]

I generally say I have family commitments.
Are they events that are important for your job, i.e networking etc, or purely social?
There are a few things I go to where there's an actual connection to my job, but if its just drinking etc I dont tend to go.
Our tea, at work have drinks the last Friday of the month, which I go to, but thats in work time and no one has more than 1-2 drinks.

[*LittleMissSummer*]

I rarely went to work functions and never go now. Because they just get drunk, sleep together then get into trouble theres a fight and there are tears so i avoid them. Im not really friends with anyone i work with so dont really want to see them outside of work.