Hi girls... not in the best frame of mind today... had an arguement with DH over the phone about several parenting issues. His suggestion was basically "why don't you put the boys in care and return to study?" Pffft! Why on Earth does he think that will make life any better??? We disagree about verity's diet for example... he buys her crap like Fantastic Noodles and lots of other high salt/sugar fodder because apparently I should be getting up earlier to make her proper healthy snacks for school like his mum did until he was in year 12! This is despite the fact that the last time I did the shopping I bought none of that rubbish and verity "made do" with taking cheese and crackers to school (for example)... ie she has been perfectly capable of making her own lunch since she was about 7 yo and now all of a sudden he thinks I ought to be doing it. He seems so bloody hell bent on turning this family into his own disfunctional experience of a family in which he grew up. He dumped ANOTHER wet towel on the carpet last night which made my blood boil. So I'm going on strike... he can pick up his own clutter from now on and I won't tell him where stuff is if it hasn't been returned to it's rightful spot anymore. I just can't get OVER how he thinks me returning to study will fix all the chaos in our lives!!! I know it will make it worse and i certainly won't be able to study amidst it all! Geeze men have short memories... can't he remember how incredibly difficult it was when i was studying last time??? And we only had Verity... can't he remeber how he resented having to take on more duties and picking Verity up after school etc and how he said that it was having a negative impact on his job??? The thing is he has never studied since year 12 (when his mother was dutifully doing EVERYTHING for him)... he never went to uni... he worked his way up the ladder at the bank to where he is now... doing a bit of online training every so often and doing paid for courses within work time. He has never had to write essays at home... and quite frankly I know he doesan't have the time management skills to study at a tertiary level and juggle kids at the same time. Sure he is very clever and can problem solve a lot faster than his colleagues... but it's all done in the serenity of an office... trying to nut out stuff with the noise of kids and having to do things in a stop start fashion just isn't his style.... nor is multitasking.... so I really resnt him suggesting i take on more at this stage of my life amidst the chaos that he himself never "has time" to deal with.
Phew! rant over.... must be something in the air again... I'll come back when I've calmed down a bit.
ETA: Oh Geeze I didn't read all of today's posts before typing in my little tirade. Girls girls girls! Please don't let the Media Barons win! That 60 Minutes program was MEAN'T to divide opinion and force people to "take sides". I for one won't take sides because in all honesty I agree with a little of what you have all said. I also do respect people who take the time to fully research an issue before stating their opinions... however it is also ok to have an opinion based on your values. I agree wholeheartedly that most of us are actually practising a lot of Attachment Parenting already. Regarding the BFing of older children I reserve judgement. It is not a black and white issue. Something that does spring to mind though is that if our family was thrust into poverty I would continue to express my milk for as long as possible because nutritionally it will always have value akin to gold. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable attaching an older child (beyond 2yo) but if some people do then that's there business... what would society prefer? A mother doing this or a mother feeding a child crap like Maccas every day.... compare both sceanrios and question which choice has the greater cost to society? Which child would grow up healthier and which child will grow up being a drain on the health system due to ill health? How would you like your tax dollar spent? When in doubt i try to look at things objectively... please don't be offended. What I'm saying is that when you are outraged by an 'extreme' you've got to look at the other 'extreme' rather than compare it to the 'norm'. Regarding kids doing their "business" outside. Yes, this grosses me out... but come summer I bet you all will be tempted to let your little ones play outside in the backyard without a nappy...and voila! they will do it on the lawn... just make sure a journalist isn't in the vicintiy because you too could be labelled a "freak". *sigh* Just hose it into the grass and move on... your little darling won't turn feral... if you don't make a fuss you might avoid it becoming a barrier to effective toilet training.... gotta keep emotions away from elimination or else you're setting yourselves up for huge hassles.... that's just my experience. I'm not saying to praise such behaviour I'm just saying "reinforce positive behaviour and ignore the negative" and you will have more results. Then again you might prefer to spend a fortune on Little Swimmers when you want to let your child have water play at home. Oh and speaking of being grossed out: I am currently grossed out by Wade's need to constantly pick his nose... but through constant and kind words i am daily reinforcing that "we don't do that on the train.... we don't do that in the shops.... we don't do that at Kinder...." and you know what... he (generally) doesn't. However if I scolded he would become sneaky and then he would probably do it in public because what a child thinks he is getting away with is not what we think is! He will end up embarrassing himself on the first day of school when he is discovered. But if a child has good, constant, and gentle communication about things like this it will work more effectively than shame. Shame just leads to sneakiness. Apply it to any scenario. Ok... lecture cut short by a waking Niall.... later girls... love you all
Well I am taking a well earned break in the middle of a hectic day of what is turning out to be a extremley hectic week.
60 Mins I did not watch the show so I can't really comment on its contents, however know what journalism is like I can only imagine that it was very biased and one sided. What I can say however is that each parent has right to choose how they bring up there child and my problem is the need to label everything. I do not choose to subscribe to any one theory I do what is right for my child and myself, and my husband- yes Tori sleeps in her cot till about 3-4am most nights and then comes into bed with us, do I do it because I subscribe to a particular theory- no, I do it because at that time of the morning I am tired, she is tired and unsettled and the best thing for my family is that we get a decent amount of sleep. I am a breastfeedingt mum at the moment, but I am choosing to start weaning my baby shortly- for me waiting for infant led weaning is not possible because of work commitments- however I should not be made to feel guilty about my choice, it is much better that I go back to work and earn some money so we have a house to live in, than keep breast feeding untill Tori choose to wean and be living on the streets. I guess what I am saying is that every body makes a choice how to parent based on there own situation, I am not suggesting that everybody does what is right for my family, nor do I expect anyone else to be able to tell me what is right for mine. All that shows like 60 mins do is cause us to question or parenting, and start looking for a label for how we bring up our children- because we are made to feel the need to justify ourselves and our choices to everyone.
Anyway.......moving right along. I rang the school I was teaching at untill I went on maternity leave to find out about what is happening with jobs next year, only to be told that there is a possibility there will be no positions.......this would be fine if I hadnt been told 6 weeks ago not to start looking for anything else because there would be positions coming up. Now I have missed out on the opportunity to apply for quite a few suitable jobs, and I am having to rush around and organise job applications to send of for jobs that are closing soon. All this needs to be done before I go away friday morning, as if I didnt have enough to do already.
I best go and get on with it, otherwise I will still be washing and packing suitcases, cleanign the house, and addressing selection criteria at midnight on thursday night.
Bath - very interesing...how are you supposed to go back to study, run a household AND make Verity's lunch before school?? Isn't that just asking you to be a martyr??? My grr is with you! Neeny - "NO nutritional value in breastmilk" after 18 months...untrue! It may not be crucial to kids' development, but don't try to tell anyone straightfaced that breastmilk is just lolly water after a certain age because it is patently untrue! It's one thing to be sensitive around people who, for whatever reason, don't breastfeed, it is quite another to call extended breastfeeding 'totally gross'. I don't care that BFing doesn't mean much to you, but it is an important part of my parenting. I feel very liberated since my breasts became 'de-sexualised'! I am not a barnyard cow, my extended breastfeeding friends are not barnyard cows, thanks very much. We do not feel that way and we don't actually care if we offend you because the only explanation we owe is to ourselves and our children. I invite you to explore how you come to the conclusion, within yourself, that extended BFing is gross -what's gross about it? Why? How does it make you feel? Sure, you're entitled to your opinion, but on this forum, in this thread, was that comment really necessary? Ali - the APers on the show never made a judgement call on non-APers, in case that's what you thought had happened on the show - it was the other way around!
Just so happens that the parenting style I am instinctually driven to is pretty much attachment parenting, sans the EC. Attachment theory is not Attachment Parenting, but they are related - it's not like a religion or anything
Gotta take Oscar outside for an al fresco feed...
Just got an email from IK apologising which I didn't think was necessary. I meant to say I was offended by the 60 Minutes trailers - not by what was said.
I think a few people just get too carried away and serious and I agree that our forum isn't for that reason.
I must add something to this though...
[QUOTE=IK;482945]Neeny - "NO nutritional value in breastmilk" after 18 months...untrue! It may not be crucial to kids' development, but don't try to tell anyone straightfaced that breastmilk is just lolly water after a certain age because it is patently untrue! It's one thing to be sensitive around people who, for whatever reason, don't breastfeed, it is quite another to call extended breastfeeding 'totally gross'. I don't care that BFing doesn't mean much to you, but it is an important part of my parenting. I feel very liberated since my breasts became 'de-sexualised'! I am not a barnyard cow, my extended breastfeeding friends are not barnyard cows, thanks very much. We do not feel that way and we don't actually care if we offend you because the only explanation we owe is to ourselves and our children. I invite you to explore how you come to the conclusion, within yourself, that extended BFing is gross -what's gross about it? Why? How does it make you feel? Sure, you're entitled to your opinion, but on this forum, in this thread, was that comment really necessary?
Let's get one thing straight - I didn't mean ALL mothers who breast feed are barnyard cows - I referred to the lady in the 60 mins trailer who was surrounded by what looked like to be school age children. [/U] In my line of work I have come across disturbing child abuse cases where mothers where breastfeeding children over 2 (and doing other things) that's why "extended Breastfeeding" as you call it offends me. By the way IK, you are not extended Breastfeeding when Oscar is only 5 months. If you choose to go beyond 2 years that's entirely up to you!
I had a friend who BF her 3 yr old in front of me (years ago) and I was offended because it isn't the norm. Her justification (and I let it go) was because her kid was very sickly and it strengthened her immune system - whereas medical people have told me that the immune system is pretty much in place at 6 months.
I actually WAS disappointed I couldn't breast feed because of medication reasons and my doctors were hoping I didn't need the medication after birth - FYI Aleise breast feed from me fro 2.5 days for colostrum. I was planning to do it at least a month but my health was the problem.
All I can say please be careful ladies - we ALL have feelings and we are all human. I agree Bath - if for poverty reasons you need to continue BF then so be it.. after all millions living in Africa and INdia have to for that very reason - but that's really a whole other topic and like the Mod said this forum isn't the place for it. I really hope we can continue to be a friendly lot and not turn debates into a personal slinging match. I was only expressing my opinion at that women featured in the trailer and IN NO WAY DIRECTED IT AT ANYONE IN HERE!!
Let's all agree that 60 minutes is a crap show and maybe talk about the weather or something???
I will now try to read the rest of the posts and really hope I get some sleep tonight.
I'm back, typing one handed. Had a lovely night out with some CFA counselling folk (annual dinner) and a good boutique beer (OMG! Drinking and BFing!).
Yep, I've been in contact with Neeny and apologised if she perceived an attack from my post. All is well.
If Oscar wants to feed beyond 2 years, I'm not planning to kick him off. I really can't understand the offence, and I was born here and grew up here (not with Kalahari bushmen ), in public BFing, or in extended BFing. How come when I see my friend feed her 4 yo I see a really lovely gesture (yes, it's comfort sucking, but I don't see it as a bad thing - I can comfort someone, I think it's cool!)) and others see an offensive act? Weird, huh? Shows to go ya, horses for courses!
Well, I'm glad we could mostly be mature about this episode and come out the other side Rory, love your bedtime story!
Speaking of bedtime, Oscar and I need to bed down now...DP already in bed and its too warm for snuggling
PS nappy free time in the backyard was just lovely! Pity about this forecast change tomorrow...
), in public BFing, or in extended BFing. How come when I see my friend feed her 4 yo I see a really lovely gesture (yes, it's comfort sucking, but I don't see it as a bad thing - I can comfort someone, I think it's cool!)) and others see an offensive act? Weird, huh? Shows to go ya, horses for courses! 
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