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Thread: Babies Born in June 2006 #17

  1. #91

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    Thanks, Bath It actually used to be more noticeably crooked (you probably couldn't miss it!) when I was younger, but I had it operated on when I was 16. It mustn't have been done properly because it bent a bit again and some scar tissue developed on one side (looks like another bend), with the tip of my nose rounding out, as well. The original surgeon said he told us it might bend back again, when I went to him last year but that's bollocks - we definitely would have remembered him saying that and, in fact, it was the reason we waited till I was 16 cos he said that at 14 it might bend back. ANYWAY, new surgeon, different technique to be used, I'll be in for day surgery with the ENT, not for two nights. My only thing is that back then my family had a higher bracket of insurance so I got it done at Cabrini and this time it will be at Casey. At least it's much closer to home.
    And I'd probably subscribe to your weight theory, too! Diverse diet combined with activity definitely describes my family and we don't put weight on easily (unless some noodle-head doctor forgets to mention that a common side effect of depo provera is weight gain...but I won't go there again!). I'm currently wearing a pair of jeans I wore for the past 18 months and they are now my 'comfy' jeans i.e. I wear them like trackies cos that's how loose they are on me.
    I have a dinner on next week and I will leave Oscar with DP. If that goes well (and it should), I am going to have to come right out and request that he look after Oscar every few Wednesdays (either here or at the fire station) so that I can go back to training. It would never occur to him by himself, so I have to effect my own return plan! He'll probably act as if I'm cutting in on his turf. Which couldn't be further from the truth seeing as I was in the brigade a whole 2 years before he joined. Last night we watched a DVD and it finished before midnight. I fell asleep on the couch with Oscar in my arms (he was suckling in his sleep, very cute!) and DP went to bed. That's right, left me sleeping sitting upright on the couch, after sleeping on the ground for 4 nights, with the TV on. You know what he said when I came into the bedroom waking him up to ask him why he left me there? Get this..."I'm not your keeper". Enough think-typing. Oscar will be wanting a feed soon and while he's asleep I might ... feck it, I'm not doing any housework except to clear clothes off the bed so I can go to bed with my Home Beautiful magazine and Harry Potter book!
    Oh, can't seem to upload my pictures on LilyPie I've reduced one pic to next to nothing and still no upload...will try again another time, it's driving me nuts for now. Mel, for a ticker with a pic try LilyPie (or not!), otherwise there's Baby-Gaga and Ticker Central.
    Good night all...

    Last edited by Smoke Jaguar; November 9th, 2006 at 09:28 PM.

  2. #92

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    Hi


    Well Aleise is doing well and loves her baby cereal and pureed fruit. We give her one serve a day now and she has a little lunch box packed up for daycare tomorrow. *sniff* my little girl is growing up! She also was photographed by the daycare ladies with her "boyfriend" Hunter who is 12 weeks old. She seems to be having lots of fun with him on the rug, playing with toys and they're both on their tummies! She will probably be crawling by Christmas too as she's starting to try and prop herself on all 4's when she's on her tummy. Apparently she can now roll from tummy onto her back - which Matt saw her do but I missed it.

    Didn't win on Melbourne Cup - only spent $8 this year. HAd a brilliant workshop at work today and free drinks after!

    Sorry no personals - haven't kept up with everything. Trust all our bubs are going well.

  3. #93

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    Hiya Neeny... Aleise sounds like she's doing great, especially the tummy time which caused yopu a bit of grief a few weeks back. IK: Ooooh that's such a common scenario (with your DP) my sister has the same issues with her DH... he doesn't hesitate to run off (after "joking" that he has to seek her permission) and play with the boys and their big baby-unfriendly toys. I've dwelt on her situation for years and haven't been able to work out how to help. All I can say is that my DH used to do it a little bit with his band rehearsals (leaving me at home holding the baby for hours on end and resenting me when I got upset)... but he kinda "grew up" over the course of the first year with Verity and developed more empathy. My sister's DH has never changed... so I guess it could go either way... all I can suggest is that you make sure you do that Wednesday thing and leave Oscar with him as much as possible. It's such a tricky situation. (((hugs)) to you.

    Well FIL has gone and life has returned to normal! WooHoo! No party to organise just a regular day ahead for me! Never thought I'd be so happy about that! Will log onto FlyLady for a bit of inspiration and start pottering... will be keeping a closer eye on posts today... and catch up on some missed personals that I've been wanting to write... but now it's cuppa time...

  4. #94

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    IK - its a tricky situation. I think most men lack the common sense gene! Mine certainly does. Things that we would easily see or do, they can't. Some just assume that we had the babies, we should do everything with them, but as you say it takes two. Your Wednesday idea sounds good, maybe even try a night out for dinner with your girlfriends. I have dinner out the 3rd Friday of each month with some old work colleagues and I look forward to it each month. I can easily plan for it and ask DH to put in for a day shift. We all need a bit of "me" time. I don't know if it would help to sit him down and explain how you feel. Whatever you decide, good luck with it.

    Neeny - Aleise (such a pretty name) sounds like she enjoys daycare. The rolling is very funny. Marley did one from tummy to her back, quite accidentally, and had the strangest look on her face like "how did I get here"! She is always trying to lift her head when on her back, we say she is doing her abdominal workout!!!!

    Bath - our family eats a very wide variety of food. We are lucky Chelsea is a very good eater and will eat salads and loves olives! My problem is I snack too much! Glad life has returned to normal for you. It really does throw things when you have something big to organise and having someone stay with you. Enjoy the beautiful weather.

  5. #95

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    Neeny, how's the workforce treating you? At least DH got to see the first roll, and not a staff member
    I hope Simone's holding her drink well at Oaks Day
    Last edited by Smoke Jaguar; November 9th, 2006 at 09:27 PM.

  6. #96
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    Hi everyone
    Neeny - glad the start to solids is going well. Packing a lunchbox, brought a smile to my face, how cute. Time is going too quick tho, isn't it?
    IK - know how you feel re the doormat it's not a nice feeling is it?
    Baths - way too much choc for me too
    gotta go someones screaming

  7. #97

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    IK: I'm still dwelling on your sitch... y'know, this is why I think SOME women return to the paid workforce... not because they "need the money" although it's sometimes cited as the main reason... but simply to avoid that "door mat" taken for granted feeling and/ or treatment. You see the "bread winner" earns the right to freedoms that a SAHM never gets: the freedom of knowing that the baby can be cared for by another... and this is a huge relief! They also get the freedom to do a whole array of other stuff "because they need to go out to work" like washing their hair in peace! The freedom of saying they need a "proper night's sleep"... the freedom of socialising with work colleagues... the freedom of saying "I need to have a bit of a break on the weekend because I work all week" etc. It's downright scary knowing that the buck stops with YOU 24/7. So it's been my personal observation that women who have less "hands on" men are very frequently, but not always, the ones that return to the workforce. I know my sis is one of them. I am not saying it's always the case... Rory for example doesn't fit this profile. What would your DP say if you said "I'm returning to full time work"? I know that it's not the right solution to your problem... just wondering?

    Please I don't want to start a debate here.... just mulling things over... NOT judging anyone... we ALL have our OWN reasons for everything we do

    I've been thoroughly enjoying hanging out the nappies today

  8. #98

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    I think that's a good point Bath. I want to talk more but must walk to the shops, but as I quoted earlier from "The Meaning of Wife" byu Alex Kingston;

    Legislation has freed individual women from the shackles traditionally associated with the role of wife. Yet the need for the wife has not been removed from corporate, economic and political infrastructures. It is as if the wife has been left by the roadside (circa 1965), her important, if invisible, social and economic contributions marginalised. Women assume they have been freed from wife, but wife hasn't been freed from women. Individual women may have been untethered from wife, but the structural need for a wife remains entrenched in the culture; and this, in turn, remains tethered to women like an invisible anchor.

  9. #99

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    Yep, love that quote Rory... and sadly, every time I read it I think of a generation of women of my mother's age who firmly shed the "shackles" of "wife".... and along with the shackles they shed their marriages. Not because the husbands wanted them "tied to the sink" but because neither couple was prepared to compromise. Neither thought it fair to be at the "mercy" of a family's needs. That role simply didn't match their expectations of life. Nuturing felt like a waste of time and time is money.

    ETA: and this is why I also worry about our society who currently "takes for granted" the roles that little old ladies (and some men) play in volunteering their time running Op Shops, school canteens, meal on wheels, and the millions of other roles that nuture society... once that generation dies off who is going to replace it? It's going to be like IK puts it" "everyone for their own around here". Makes me angry too... another example of how our politians/media need to expalin to The People that it's not just paid work that is vital to our economy.

    Now I'm not saying that going out to work is easier because it's not. But at least paid work has structure and is acknowledged as being demanding.... and the results are tangible and instant. At the end of the day I think that the perfect scenario for most people would be that both parents (of young children) had partime paid work commitments so that both parents get to share the freedoms and limitations of working within and outside the home. It also would make (mainly men) realise that they THEMSELVES are being nutured a hell of a lot more than they realise by working fulltime in their mistaken belief that it is THEY who are the sole provider for the family. ThankGod my DH doesn't fit this profile... yes he takes me for a granted a little but he will also add that half the income he earns is earnt by me and is truely MINE.

    OMG I just can't stop thinking about this issue LOL IK: how about this keyword/catch phrase for your DP: "you get what you pay for". It seems he isn't currently "paying" you much respect, or "paying" Oscar much attention so I guess he is happy for a minimal return on his investment? I also know they he isn't as "bad" as you make him sound.... i remeber b*tching about my DH in here a few weeks back and thinking "OMG I've portrayed him as a total pr*ck...he's not really that bad"... and feeling a bit guilty about it... so I know what you mean But leaving you and Oscar alone on the couch after watching TV and going off to bed lacks empathy... I think you can safely tell him that most halves of a loving couple wouldn't do that. They would gently wake the sleeping partner and quietly offer to help settle the baby so that the sleeping partner could settle comfortably in bed without waking up cold, stiff and disorientated. Perhaps your DP hasn't been dependant on other people for a long time... but perhaps gently remind him that one day, maybe one day soon, he might just need to reply on the empathy and care of others... and if he doesn't want to alienate all the loving people he has around him ATM he'd better start rethinking his ways... and redefining his definition of being a good/successful man... what would that mean for him? How would he finish this sentence: "I would consider myself a successful person when...." ??? ..."when my child feels protected?" "when my partner feels loved" or "when I get what I want"? (sorry for dragging that old Dr Philism out agin LOL)

  10. #100

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    I'm currently waiting for my sister to sort out her end of things to make a skype call.
    DP has taken Oscar outside. I was at Mothers Group this arvo and we talked about catching up regularly after the sessions finish, and I have surprised myself in that I would like to catch up. Just not weekly or even every fortnight cos I have too much else on for now. But I'm getting to know the girls better and they be cool.
    Hmmm, DP came back in but he's out again (trying to get Oscar to sleep), so now I can respond!
    Yeah, I'm going to need to articulate what I need to convey to him to avoid rambling to him and losing his attention. I'll keep thinking on it...
    he's back, better go...

  11. #101

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    LOL at you ducking and weaving IK... hey sorry for being preachy in my last post... I'm no expert... just missed BB over the past week and over did it a bit... and as I've said before i really dislike seeing the Junies being taken for granted and suffering in general. You know how some people get all protective over new born babies... well i extend that to new mums, we're all so fragile and so much of our post labour pain and suffering is avoidable.

    Oh and Mel: I don't think snacking in itself is a bad thing as long as you snack on healthy things and don't have 3 large meals as well. I lose count of how many "snacks" I have throughout my day and i've lost weight. Infact i graze steadily ALL and EVERY day! But I don't really have full meals. The type of things I snack on include toast, crackers, dried fruit, nuts, fresh fruit, cheese, yogurt... the list goes on and on... "lunch" is the snack I have at midday which might just be a tuna tin on a Ryvita. Actually I've heard that healthy snacking can speed up your metabolism which is a good thing if you want to lose weight. Anyhow, my advice is not to worry about snacking... just on what you're snacking on and heavily reduce the portion size of "meals" (it's good not to have a big stomach capacity... mine is quite small... i can't actually fit much in before I feel uncomfortable)... oh and try to avoid eating too much after about 8pm... and eat the really naughty stuff before noon (ie a bit chocolate or sweet biscuits... then you have longer to burn it off)...That's just the way I do things... once again, I'm no dietian!

  12. #102

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    I know I need a dose of my own medicine, IK (God knows I have failed DH and this relationship over and over again!) but have you tried to look at things from his perspctive? I only say this because a good friend once told me : there are three sides to every story- his story, her story, and the truth. Is there something in his comment that "If you cared enough you wouldn't be that far away from me in the first place"? Have you done things or made emotional decisions that didn't involve him? I have sometimes picked up from your posts about Oscar that maybe he isn't totally cool with the AP/co-sleeping thing? I am speculating only and I don't know, but just maybe he got your point in the question, but was trying to make his own at the same time?
    Like I said, I need to take my own advice - I am constantly looking at my relationship from my viewpoint only and letting bpth DH and I down in the process.
    Tired now, must go. I hope your musings are productive, darl. We are all thinking of you

  13. #103

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    Yeah, he's good with the AP thing - he likes to tell friends that we sleep well because Oscar is in the bed and we don't have to get up. The ends of the earth comment happened way before Oscar was born. Like Bath mentioned, before I came along he had not had a relationship before, he didn't have to consider anyone else's feelings for nearly 30 years! I'm tired and sad and I'm about to have a bath with my boy. I'm a bit tired of putting myself in his shoes and everyone else's shoes. Empathy sucks big time - it's so draining! Sheesh, and I want to be a psychologist! He knows something is up, if only I could put it into words properly without sounding like a prima donna.
    Bath time for me!

  14. #104

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    Awww I don't think you're being a Primadonna.... but hey don't despair... people change... it sounds like you guys have only been together a relatively short time (compared to my 13 year r/ship with my DH). When I think about how much my DH has changed in that time anything is possible for you. Please please keep in mind that the first year with a new baby for any couple is very tough, especially the first baby. My DH and I fought like cats and dogs in the first year about very similar issues to what you are raising. However I do acknowledge that the situation is different as my DH was married before so perhaps has more practise with identifying and meeting needs etc.

    Enjoy your bath... see y'all in the morning... nighty nite

  15. #105

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    IK - Bath is right, you are not acting like a prima donna! This forum helps you get out what you want to get out, however you like. Then you can fine tune it for your talk with DP. You are better off letting out steam here, rather than directly at him. I work with lots of psychologists and psychiatrists and the best ones are those that have troubled lives themselves LOL!!! At least you know one little man that will adore and love you forever, regardless of whether you pick up the clothes!

    DH and I fought constantly when Chelsea was born. I felt like I knew everything better than him and we went from a couple (together for 12 years) to all of a sudden being a family. Enjoy your relaxing bath, stay positive and keep smiling!

    Bath - thanks for the snack tips. You are sooooo right. I snack of half good/half bad stuff and I snack late too! Very naughty. My meal sizes are fairly small but I usually don't eat because I am hungry. I will try some of your snack suggestions.

  16. #106

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    I feel better after a bath and something to eat - thanks, girlies, for your words There's no fighting or anything, just me being glum and DP a bit confused as to what is wrong with me. I've removed bits of some posts and some posts all together - the guilts got to me! I'm going to do something I usually do when I feel a bit hopeless. I'm going to go through all the things I'm grateful for. Like his unwavering support for me when I was having feeding issues (we were both determined to make the BFing work), all the nappy washing that got done in those first 6 weeks, agreeing to be away from his family for Christmas to spend it with my sister in NZ. I just wish attentiveness wasn't too much to ask for! He's such a good egg, so how come sometimes I feel like chopped liver?
    Oscar is finally asleep (hasn't had a proper sleep since this morning), so I might put him down and get some more stuff done. I'd really like to start sewing this sling for my sister and I need a clear table and floor for that caper.
    I hope Simone lets us know what kind of hijinks she had at the races today...
    Good night, girls!

  17. #107

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    Well hi again

    Apparently a daycare attendant saw Aleise roll from her tummy to her back today but I haven't seen it (not the full roll anyway, only halfway back!).

    Work: well great to be in the adult world although my part time admin job isn't riveting. Still waiting for logon access and training to work on the criminal database which is more exciting than transcribing police interviews! But hey we wouldn't survive if I didn't work!! Working full time? Well if I could do that again (can't due to health reasons) I would wait until Aleise was about 3 or 4 as I wouldn't want to miss out on the tender years. I don't think I'd like someone else bringing up my child either because they spend most of their waking hours in the company of others. But hey - not trying to put down full time working mums - in this day and age you're truly lucky if you don't have to go back to work. Unfortunately my hubby isn't a high enough income earner for that!

    Mel: Thanks for the name compliment - I thought it was important to call our baby a nice sounding name, unlike SIL who called one of her son's Ezekiel (Zeik isn't too bad) but honestly she could've found a nicer biblical name! All their children (she now has 4) have biblical names and the younger boy, Isaac has a better one in my opinion.

    Well nothing much going on. Matt and I went to Fasta Pasta for dinner tonight and I had a lovely gluten free spag marinara! Mmmm.. there goes my weight watchers!! Oh well will go for a long walk tomorrow if its not raining.

    Okay well leave it here - have fun all.

  18. #108

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    Im Baaaaaaaack!!

    Im not going to even attempt to try and catch up on personals, you ladies are such talkers!!

    Well, Oaks day went well, i will post photo's on the weekend sometime. I wore a white satin suit, navy cami, navy satin shoes/bag and a navy and white hat. also wore white gloves. Looked very "posh". I have blisters the size of 20c pieces at the base of each big toe, ended up taking my shoes off and cut my foot open crossing the tram tracks, DH also found a huge splinter in my toe, i didnt even feel it!!
    Went in the Lorieal (sp?) marquee, got my lips done and got a freebie - wrinkle cream, nail polish, new mascara, lippie and eye shadow. Had a little too much champers, naughty me, came home and passed out. Feeling ok today, only as i drank so much water... I cant walk though, damn stiletto's...

    Well, my little miss turned 5m yesterday. Growing up to quickly!!

    i have my testing for the RAAF on thursday... im looking at going in MP (military police) but doing special intelligence. so i have to do a heap of extra testing... finges crossed i pass it!!

    I missed you ladies HEAPS while i wasnt on, felt so lonely... But FIL is buying us a new computer and paying for broadband, (for this business FIL and DH are putting together) so hopefully ill never leave LOL

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