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Thread: Babies Born June 2006 #18

  1. #73

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    Uh-oh. DP is mad at me. I suggested that my dad look after Oscar so that we could watch Borat this weekend and he said we could leave him with his mum, then, so we could both go to brigade training. He now thinks I'm changing criteria for leaving Oscar as it suits me. My point of view is that my dad is more familiar with Oscar's hungry and sleepy signs than DP's mum cos he has spent more time with him and actually put him to sleep, whereas MIL has never spent long enough with him to put him to sleep, or where we have been there has not tried to get him to sleep (hands him back to me when he cries). DP now seems to think I don't want to leave him with her for something other than practical reasons. She just hasn't spent the time with him for me to leave him comfortably with her for a couple of hours. My plan (and I've told it to DP but he's got convenient amnesia) is to speak to MIL and organise days of the week where I can walk around with Oscar, leave him with her for increasing half hour increments while I go into the village, or do some shopping etc, so that she can get used to him and him to her. What I would need to do is to be there for a bit first, before leaving him, because he doesn't know her well enough to just be left without that buffer time with both of us there. DP is p*d off now and has gone to the shed. He is not listening to me and whatever this thoughts were about his mum and Oscar are now surfacing - cos he certainly hasn't shared them with me when I've asked him what he thinks about his mum not spending time with Oscar. In fact, the only thing he has ever said about it is that she is a busy person with lots on. Like I didn't already know that. And why is it up to ME to establish an Oscar/MIL relationship, when it's his son and mother? Why can't he call her and ask her round, or if she'll be home so I can go round? All of a sudden it means a lot to him to have his mum spend time with Oscar, but he's mad at me cos it hasn't happened yet!
    Anyway, the only person who could realistically look after Oscar for 2 hours, so far, is my dad. He is the only person outside of DP and I who can regularly get Oscar to sleep, can keep him entertained without turning the TV on and who recognises his sleepy noises (i.e. the 'I need to be asleep' noises).
    I realise there are mixed feelings because his dad is not around anymore, but I cannot go into his head and sort out what's going on. I'm not a mind reader!
    The thing is, my reasonings are really about Oscar's wellbeing. He knows my dad. My dad knows him and is comfortable with him and doesn't pass him back when he cries (unless it's hungry crying). MIL has visited and we have visited her, but she has not really spent any time nurturing him yet. I would like to make that happen, but it must be done gradually, as it happened with my dad. I wish DP could think outside of his emotions (that he hasn't even articulated to himself) and see the sense in my methodology!
    Sorry, I'm having a vent, but somehow I just became the bad guy in this house.
    ETA: Mel, I'm still on for Wed! We just had the sheets of rain come through this way. What a southerly, huh? Yesterday's humidity was divine, today is definitely inside weather. Ay! the trees are getting very bendy out here...
    Want to put the boy down and head into Belgrave to do some things. DP has done a good job with the boy this morning, probably in anticipation of me leaving them tomorrow night for this union dinner. Whatever the reason, it's nice to see DP so confident with his boy

    Last edited by Smoke Jaguar; November 13th, 2006 at 12:25 PM.

  2. #74

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    IK - never mess with men and their mothers, I learn't that lesson very early on. LOL!!!

    My mum is not around, so I only have MIL to rely on. I am the one constantly encouraging her to see Marley, DH never does. When Chelsea was born, she was here every 5 minutes. Marley comes along and we hardly see her, unless we instigate it! If I do ask her to mind one or both, she will come her as she doesn't want to upset their routine. I tell her they will play/sleep anywhere but she prefers to come here. Your Dad must be good with babies, my dad wouldn't have a clue what to do. He has 4 grand daughters, 2 older, 2 babies. He is a bit nervous around the babies, but OK with the older ones.

    Don't get blown away in Belgrave, getting very windy here at the mo!

    Looking forward to Wed.

  3. #75

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    Geez, it's wintry! Got some op shopping done - spent next to nothing and got Oscar a couple of singlets and pilchers and myself two tshirts but one's too small
    DP slept off his whatever he had, and Oscar slept the whole time I was out - I left him in his bassinette.
    Got dentist appointment soon, so I'm off to feed Oscar and get my jeans back on...

  4. #76

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    Well today has been sooo hot here, I've restrained myself from turning on the air-con as I don't want a huge electricity bill, I was just so tempted to turn it on, Cody was working up a sweat ever time he feeds his head gets all sweaty on my arm which makes it itchy. Not much else to say not many people around today.

    hugs xoxo

  5. #77

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    IK, that whole MIL situation sucks. I am lucky with my MIL in that she is great with kids and would be happy to leave Flynn with her, but DH and I see eye to eye on how annoying she is. In fact, the whole family (her kids, hubby, mum and sister) all find her equally annoying so we all get along fine.

    Got back this arvo from lunching with Simone at Keilor Road (right between out two suburbs, sort of, which is handy) and chewing the fat (well, Simone was lady like and ate half a pizza, I literaally chewed the fat by having a burger and a piece of cheesecake!!) Also caught up this morning with my cousin who is over from Denmark with her hubby and kids - it has been 9 years since I saw her so it was great to find we clicked really well even after such a long separation. That said, when you have kids they provide endless sources of comparison and discussion. My poor cuz lost her little girl, Helena, at 37 weeks gestation - she got a virus and a perfectly formed bubba just died. She has 4 other children and is hoping for 2 more, so we were having this rambling discussion about loss and children and how one can never take the palce of another.......

    better go and do "work" work - hmmmm, beein saying that alot lately!!

  6. #78
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    hi all,
    I'm so behind - so I'm just going to jump right in..
    Rory - i'm so sorry to hear about your cousin... that must have been devistating for the whole family...
    Nickers - good to see you back, I'm so impressed that Nixon has cut two teeth - I'm super impressed.
    IK - I so agree with Mel..
    never mess with men and their mothers,
    think you guys are having a rough patch, so other isses arise and are worse than they would normally be???? Just from an outsiderers perspective... HUGS
    Amanda - i know what you mean about the sweat.. can you turn it on in just one room?

    So, the cot did not work out... need to go buy one now..

    also, big news here is that Ally says "Mum"... well I know it is just a sound and not the real word with meaning,but it is clear as day.. must run

    chat soon.

  7. #79

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    IK - can't believe you made it to the shops. It was so windy here that some of my beautiful standared roses broke! The op shops are the best but some are getting expensive and cashing in on the "vintage' look thats around now. Good luck at dentist.

    Amanda - hard to imagine it being so hot at the moment - here in Melb it has been only 17 today and I have both my heaters on and probably electric blanket tonight.

    Rory - great that you and Simone live nearby. Its always nice to catch up for a chat and cake!!! Very sad about your cousins baby. They obviously love big families.

    CeeCee - what happened with the cot? Did you just recently buy it? Very cute about Allys new word.

    Better go, dishes to do!

  8. #80

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    Rory, you lie... I ate 3/4 of the pizza, and it was only because i ate about 15 freddo frogs before i came LOL

    Had a road rage incident before, a guy wouldnt get out of my lane, was so close i could've touched his car from drivers side, so i beeped him and told him to eff off, he tried to ram me and went to get out at traffic lights so DH got out, and this guy tried to run Dh over!!! DH kicked his car (a snazzy new black merc!!) and he tried to ram my car, right into drivers side door... luckily i was about to reverse out of the way of traffic... When we went to cops, they said we were in the wrong, as DH shouldnt have gotten out! He tried to ram me about 4 times in total, and run over Dh, and we're in the wrong!! Dh has had a run in with this guy before, the merc driver's very agro...

    And after all that i had an asthma attack with no ventolin and had to breathe through it, thank goodness it was only brought on my an anxiety attack, and not a "proper" asthma attack, or i would've been in trouble...

    So that was my night LOL Now im in bed, DH has taken Xander to see his dad and the 2 youngest are in bed, later on he'll drop Xander back off and go back to his dads... another lonely night for me.

    ETA i finally changed my ticker pic LOL. Got one of all 3 children, Declan on the left, Allie in the middle (obviously!!) and Xander on the right.
    Last edited by simone; November 13th, 2006 at 06:38 PM.

  9. #81

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    Dentist was easy peasy - he didn't seem to believe me when I told him I had had a whole extra set of wisdom teeth. I even told him in dentist-speak (i.e. that I had four 9's removed) and I think he thought I was putting it on, but then I described to him how I had them extracted. I think he was jealous that someone else discovered and extracted them before he got to them. Either that or he really didn't believe me because he seemed to be making an effort at being unimpressed...but the way he kept asking questions 'nonchalantly' gave him away.
    Anyhow, we went to see MIL on the way home. She's so not ready to have Oscar on her own yet for more than an hour. I was sitting at the table and she was holding Oscar. He started to whinge and I left him on purpose. In the end she palmed him off to DP. I said nothing, but I was hoping she would stick with him and see if she could settle him. He'd been fed, so they weren't hungry noises, though he fed later (a token feed, he wasn't ravenous exactly). So, it will take some groundwork in that area. She's a great lady and I have absolutely no problem with her except in how she has related to Oscar thus far. She hasn't offered to mind him, that I can recall, yet DP keeps saying she will look after him if asked. My dad, on the other hand, as well as some other friends of ours, have offered to look after him - and that's with no prompting or hinting whatsoever, they've just put the offer out there. That's part of my reservation. I don't want to ask her to look after him if she's only doing it cos I've asked. I'd like her to WANT to look after him so that it's not so much of a favour to me, but a mutual arrangement that would satisfy us both. Does this even make sense? I brought it up with her tonight and, honestly, she's been more enthusiastic about the prospect of having Odin over than she was at the prospect of gradually having Oscar for longer and longer. I hope she didn't think I was saying I didn't trust her, because the increments thing has more to do with Oscar's comfort levels than the minder. My dad wouldn't need the increments as much cos he has spent that quality time until now. My dad has offered to mind him, and the role reversal just sits oddly with me, for some reason. Apart from this, I have no other issue with MIL whatsoever!
    Mel - it was pretty blowy, but I was rugged up for it! Branches on roads etc, there have been two calls for 'powerlines down'. I really wish we had a water tank on days like today - all that water! I went to real op shops today and the vintage shop lost my custom - I waited and waited, then went to another shop to kill time, but no-one came 'back in 5 minutes'! The annoying thing is that they had left two bargain baskets out the front and there were some items I wanted...but no-one to leave money with. So, the charities got my money instead. One of them had a special $1 for tops day, so I scored a cool t-shirt for a buck!
    Rory - very sad about your cousin's little monkey Mmmmm, burger, there's an idea!
    Ok, I think I should do something about dinner and put this boy down, methinks...
    Simone - great ticker pic!
    Last edited by Smoke Jaguar; November 13th, 2006 at 06:41 PM.

  10. #82

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    IK wow at having that many wisdom teeth the ones I have are enough to drive anyone insane, it's a shame about your MIL, but she sounds better then mine. We hardly see them unless we go around or ring them, I would never leave the boys with them as well as they would never offer to have them with out us been there.

    Mel it got to about 33 here today not good as it's not even summer yet, so we're in for a hot one.

    hugs xoxo

  11. #83

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    My news - gave Flynnie solids today. I was going to hold out till 6m but then I did some googling on introduction of gluten and incidence of coeliacs disease (no one in family has it but both DH and I react to wheat/gluten. Turns out that the delayed intro of gluten (past 7m) is as much as a risk factor as early intro (before 3 m). Recco is that gluten is introduced 4-6m. So given I want to take about a month to build up to bready stuff, we gave Flynn some rice cereal and he wolfed it down. Ok, we cheated and gave it to him before boobie, but he still loved it.

    gottago - boobie monster calls......

  12. #84

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    Simone - luckily you guys are OK. Make sure you tell DH not to do that again, there are far too many wackos in this world and you never know what they can do. Road rage is quite scary. Thankfully you could manage your asthma. Love the new picture!

    IK - MIL are a strange species. I don't know whether we are more hesitant because they are not our mother's? I always feel a bit strange asking my MIL to babysit, she sometimes makes me feel like it is an hassle, without directly saying so. At least you can rely on your dad and other good friends. Ultimately, she will be the one missing out on spending quality time with Oscar. The charity needs your money more anyway, so there's your good deed for the day LOL!!!

    Rory - how exciting giving Flynn solids. Glad to hear he loved it, some babies aren't too keen on rice cereal (it tastes pretty ordinary!!!).

    Amanda - I have a friend living in East Brisbane and she said it has been quite hot lately and you are in for a very hot summer. Lucky you have air-con LOL!!!

  13. #85

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    Rory yay for Flynn, now that you started, it's going to be a whole new story with the nappy changes now, lol have fun .

    Simone love the new ticker

    Ok be back later have to get the boys ready.

    hugs xoxo

  14. #86

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    Morning one and all

    im thinking about making today the day i start Anneliese on solids, got some EBM out of the freezer this morning, and going to give her some rice cereal (yuk!) when the boys have gone down for their nap, so they are disrupting bub, i can concentrate on feeding her!!

    Well, hopefully we will see some sunshine here, i have some clothies that need the bleaching... so cold, i've still got the heaters on!!

  15. #87

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    Morning all!

    Simone - good luck with the solids, let us know how it all goes. Good idea trying to do it without distraction.

    DH has taken Chelsea to the wave pool and Marley is sleeping so I have a very quiet house at the mo. Great day for washing, we have sunshine over here and a bit windy. It was really cold this morning, I had heaters on too.

    Dinner out (without kids YEAH!!!) with some friends tonight, so I am really looking forward to it.

    Hope everyone has a good day.

  16. #88

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    Ooooh, who's going to be the last to hold out to the 6 month mark? Bath, Cee Cee? Are you going to succumb to the trend??? I definitely don't want to have to worry about pureeing anything whilst in NZ and it's only a month and a half away, so I'm hanging on still!
    Oscar is moving around all over the floor - he is NOT where I left him! I put him there whilst I was having my cereal cos he put his hand in, closed it over some of it, drew it out and shook his hand over the floor - lucky they are floorboards!
    Right, catching up with two girls from my birth class today and then I have to get back to get ready for this union dinner...

  17. #89

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    Anneliese has started moving around in her cot now IK, i wrap her and put her in, all tucked in, and i went into before and she was uside down up the other end of the cot!!!

    Declans is bed (calling out "Mummy") and i just have to wait for him to sleep before i can put Xander in there, or there'll be no afternoon sleeps for anybody!!

    Wonder where bath is, very quiet in here without her... Miss ya Bath!!

  18. #90

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    I have the boy in a sling - that'll learn him for getting into my cereal! I hope he sleeps soon cos I need to shower and get out of here...
    Anneliese is a monkey! How about tying her legs together??
    Is it getting to that time of year again where people are getting busy enough to be away from BB during the day??
    I've got a load of nappies on but won't have time to hang them - they'll have to hang under the house, so I hope the laundry booster did its job in last night's soak...
    Mel, where's the wave pool?

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