Sim - got your email, and I've made a conscious decision to address some of it here online. You didn't make anyone offer their assistance - that's off an individual's own bat, and also, it's up to them HOW they assist. If I was in a position to help you with money, I most certainly would have put it towards tyres, too - one of mine was bald and I can't believe I let it get like that, so I resorted to using the evil credit card to get my car safe for my boy. Sounds like there are some people who are not being careful in their use of PM's, too - isn't it supposed to be a privilege to use PM's as a paid up member? I would think that the least you could expect is to have people be constructive and polite in PM'ing you. I'd also like to say that all of us experience seeming 'inconsistencies' in our lives, if viewed from this forum or any forum, because it's impossible to be 3 dimensional online! We are our conflicts, our hypocrisies, our mind-changes! Not only that, if you don't have the full picture on someone's life, you're not in a good position to judge the decisions they make that they let you know about online. Geez, neither of us have a job here but I manage to keep a horse and do Babyswim AND get my haircut regularly...maybe I'm leading a life of crime and deception to have these things? Or maybe my prioritising doesn't come across very well online! I think it's a symptom of online life - you see someone in a one-dimensional manner and it's easy to then judge them in that same one-dimensional way. It doesn't work like that, because we are so much more than our online personas, as we Junies know from our various meet ups. Therefore, Sim, I would venture to say that you are welcome (encouraged!) to keep posting in our thread in a constructive manner, and because we know you better than most on BB, we can sort out the myth from the likely-reality of your situation. Just remember, also, that because these people have a very limited knowledge of you, that their criticisms can not possibly be based on reality...therefore, train yourself not to get upset about them and realise that it is just about THEM, their perceptions, and not your reality. Next time you're at the video library (heaven forbid you should spend any money on personal entertainment - although the local library should have it on their system), have a look for "What the Bleep Do We Know", and it might help you sort out how you feel about how other people see you (and see that it doesn't actually matter!). Yep, sometimes it's a downer when you post a series of vents about XH, but I tend to think that we have a choice as to how much we are going to engage in other people's issues. At worst, why don't members make use of their 'ignore' function? Honestly, if it's getting that bad for some people, that is what it's for! I'm probably going to be told off for this post, but I am so disappointed that it's come to this. If we could all pick and choose who we wanted here in BB, then not many people would be left! In contrast to this is my experience in the CFA. We're all volunteers in my area. You take who is willing to come on board. Yep, some of them are w@nkers, and some of them you wish you could get kicked out...but you can't and the challenge is to accept them for what they have to offer...and even the things you don't want! And you know what? That's what I love about the CFA. It challenges me to accomodate people I normally wouldn't choose to associate with. It's enhanced my people skills ten thousand fold. As Bath would put it, it's the 'rich tapestry of life'! Life challenges, you deal with it.
I don't think I've offended anyone, unless anyone reading this thinks it's ok to abuse the PM facility for Platinum Members.
I, for one, don't think I'd like to pay for membership to any association, if that membership were to be tenuous and conditional on the basis that, if I were going through a hard time, other members were making less than informed judgements about me. I am lucky that my CFA membership, my riding club membership, my ABA subscription just need me to be committed to the premise of the association's foundation. Anything else just needs to be dealt with according to the relevant guidelines - if it's not, then it's not a valid complaint or complaints process. Integrity is vital and I'm always one for the benefit of the doubt.
BTW- I can feel a tooth!!Bottom right...it's definitely started to break through! I'm losing my baby (lament!)...