Oh, Nic, I remember that so well! You were so down on yourself for not being able to 'control yourself' and also cursing that you felt you had been religious about PF exercises but for what, if you were only going to be incontinent anyway? You weren't the only one naive, though, chicken - it was only when someone else suggested you might be leaking that it occurred to me that it might explain a hell of a lot...I would have been just like you! How naive all us first timers were! Mate, we were all gearing up for a certain type of birth this time last year (I'd done one of my two hypnobirthing classes by now) and for some reason, Nixon wanted out. We were all so worried about you, when we got your message. Your birth was so unexpected that I am not surprised you are replaying it all now. You came through it, and just as importantly, so did Nixon. We were there with ya, kiddo, reading about your trips to the hospital, the endless expressing, the confusion at being at home after giving birth but having no baby at home, the frustration, and then...the photo of Nixon coming home. Please go easy on yourself, that time gave you PND and you came out of that period marvellously. By all means, revisit the events, but please don't dwell on the negative feelings you had (you're probably not, but just in case!) - you found out what you were capable of, so take the positives and run with those One more thing: thanks for sticking with us preggies while we kept posting about our pregnancies. It was acknowledged at the time, but given the nature of being pregnant, it wouldn't have sunk in just how hard it would have been for you to keep reading about the pregnancy symptoms you should have still been having. Number 2 will give you that - do you think this pregnancy will help you heal from the early birth last year? I guess we've just assumed that since Nixon has been storming through his growth patterns that you were 'all better'. It's easy to forget that your start to mummyhood was unexpected and abrupt, so all these questions seems to be coming a little bit late in the piece, sorry about that!
I just watched Sylvia - how depressing. Great film, just depressing! I also partook of a glass of Kahlua and milk...I always forget to drink my favourite drink, but not tonight!
DP's back and I'm going to put a snotty Oscar to bed with me now.