Co-sleeping is such a breeze for me because I'm not anxious about it at all. I know it's good for us and I'm not afraid to have a good sleep between feed wakings - I know he's there and I trust my instincts that if something were wrong with him I would know. I'm in the best place to tend to him; right next to him I'm not afraid of smothering at all - he'd make a bit of noise before I snuffed the life out of him with a shoulder or other body part! Honestly, if it were that dangerous, China's, Africa's and India's populations would be infinitely smaller! We're not smokers nor on medication, nor morbidly obese.
This time last year the thought of co-sleeping was just too out there for us and we thought we were so intelligent and wise with our reasoning that sleeping alone in another room would be the healthiest for our potential baby. Once I was pregnant we still thought this way, but the closer we got to June, the more we realised that we were not comfortable with having our baby not near us. Then we decided that if the child didn't take to sleeping in the bed with us (like some babies who just want to play in bed!) we would keep the bassinet in the room. But he did, so he does and I cannot adequately describe the all-consuming inner warm fuzziness I get when I wake and look at Oscar's sleeping, peaceful and secure face right next to mine...just before he wakes for a feed so that he can chomp right down on my poor nipples! When DP leaves for work in the morning he leans over to give me a kiss, then moves along to give his boy a parting kiss, too. I know that there will be people who can't get over the 'shared intimacy' barrier that co-sleeping elicits, but those of us who do it will definitely know what I'm talking about and smile, instead of shuddering! Children DO wean themselves from the family bed, and if that's where Oscar feels secure then my role is to maintain his security until such a time that he's happy in his own company. I figure that I hate having regrets, so I'm going with my 'heartflow' in order to not find myself saying, years down the track "geez, you know, I wonder if I should have done (insert appropriate action), but it's too late now". One of the BC midwives really regrets that she never co-slept with any of her 3 kids and she can't get that time back cos it was 30 odd years ago! I hate regrets and my waters tell me that co-sleeping, breastfeeding and infant-led feeding are the right things for us and Oscar. But you're right, Candy, it IS absolutely personal and if anyone tries to tell me what I 'should' or 'shouldn't' do with Oscar, I'll be telling them to bite me cos I am the mother of MY child and no-one else is.
ANYWAY, I'm reading a book called "Naked Motherhood" by Wendy LeBlanc, it's a bit old now but in her research, the only women who did NOT report exhaustion and other negative and common post-partum feelings and experiences were those who co-slept. I can say that apart from my few nights of distress about feeding issues, I have not felt strung out or crazy with lack of sleep, so I will concur with Wendy LeBlanc!
LC came over to my house today! She called and said she'd do a home visit instead, to see me feed in our 'natural habitat' She's confident that we're on our way and she said she noticed a huge difference in how I approached the feed this time, unlike last week.
My SIL and I had a nice (although quick, cos LC appt was brought forward with the home visit) trip into the village, where we had a coffee and chat with our children in their prams - I think we should make it a more regular thing cos it was lovely, especially as the sun was out in full defrosting force!
Karen - attachment becomes much less horrendous with each feed - I think he's slowly getting the hang of his tongue and my own techniques are tweaking in response to make it better all round, phew! Thanks for asking The nipple ridging is also becoming less pronounced. Best of all, as a result, I'm not fearing the onset of the vasospasm and...funnily enough...the vasospasm is diminishing, yay! Hopefully, by next weekend for the brigade annual dinner we'll have it down and I can thoroughly enjoy the night (most likely another year where I'll miss out on every award available - had hoped in other years to get 'most improved firefighter' cos I thought I deserved it!).
Jo - my SIL is the same with a velcro baby! She's a bit luckier cos her other two kids are 8 and 10, but the thing that gets them through is knowing that it won't last forever and she'll eventually get tired and sleep during the day one day...don't know if that helps you at all, though...thinking of you, though
Enigma - are you going to the Target sale?? Stuff is SO cheap in this latest catalogue! We might have to get ourselves a high chair - there's one for $45 at half price...
Hmm, might drink some OJ, express a bit cos Oscar is still sleeping and the left breast is starting to fill up a bit too much again...