Babies Born June 2007 #2

[~Debbie~]

I am offically having a bad day. Ita a woo me day i think.
He wont sleep, chucked all over my bed, had to change the sheets, my boobs are killing me, i feed this morning, was in tears most of the time. MY downstairs bits are hurting, I yelled at him to shut up and stop crying, and i feel like no one cares about me, they just care about the baby. People ring up and ask how Aiden is, how DH is, nobody says Hows Debbie. Like i am not important? Like, i am automatically fine surviving on 4 - 5hours asleep a day. Its ok for everyone else to whinge that they are tired, but, not me.
I feel like i have so much to do, and not enough time. I am sick of washing, i hate breastfeeding at the moment, i resent him for making me hurt. I dont more kids cause i dont want to go thru this again. I had to bath him cause his spew somehow ended up all thru his hair. ANd i am sick of crying.
I feel like a bad mum, cause everyone else talks about playing with their babies, and toys and stuff, and i just couldnt be bothered. He hates his play gym. The only thing he likes is the music mobile above his cot, but, he hates his cot. He watchs it when he is on the change table, but, i cant leave him on that. He wont go to sleep today unless i am holding him, and if i am holding him, i cant get anything done.
I am sorry for letting all this out in here, but, i just feel like crap today.

[bigbird2girls]

Debbie,

sorry to here that you feel like this. Do you think it could be a little bit of post natal depression at all? Maybe you should say to people when they ask about everyone else " thanks for asking but yeah i am doing great!" then they might realise that it is mainly you that is doing all the work and tireless nights and it would be nice to have some support from them?

Don't feel like a bad mum at all Debbie your not. You are doing a great job and it is a hard job when you are sleep deprived and you have a baby that just will not settle. Maybe you DH can help out a little more so that you can at least get some much needed sleep.

Just a Suggestion My Dh will take care of DD#2 at night time so i can get dinner ready and have a shower and some time out to myself. I make sure DD#1 is in bed by 6.30pm and it seems to work a treat. I feel calm and ready for the fussy time and all of that by then and refreshed.

I hope that you feel better soon. We are all here to give you support and listen to your feelings etc.

[MumofLewis]

Debbie,

I really feel for you, I know how quickly the day can go from being okay to being disastarous and how my confidence just plummets when things go wrong. I think this has to be the hardest time for us when everything is new and we don't know if we are doing things okay because bub can't tell us. It's like looking after a machine sometimes isn't it.

Last friday Lewis didn't sleep for over 7 hours and just cried if I put him down and I was exhausted and upset like you today. But the next day after a good sleep I felt better.

I think you really need a good rest, it made me feel loads better. Do you have anyone to help look after him? I know your Mom is far away, what about friends? And how about DH can he do some extra feeds etc so you can have a solid sleep?

This is just a phase and it will pass. You have been sounding so confident, I'm sure you are dong a brilliant job and are just having one of those days.

Let us know how you are feeling now.

Also have you tried a baby rocker or bouncer? Lewis loves his chair swing thing and it is a lifesaver because he will sit in it for 10-15 mins so I can have a break from keeping him entertained.

[naomi54]

awww Debbie Sweetie, firstly big hugs to you {{HUG}}
I really know what you are going through and how you are feeling, but knowing that doesnt make the day for you anybetter i know, all i can say is that it IS a phase and it WILL pass. Like others suggested you just need some sleep, which is hard to get, but do try, even if you get DH to look after Aiden while you have a nice long hot shower or bath.

I had a very very similar day to you the other day, but mine got so bad I almost walked out on Rick and Lachlan, if it wasnt for Rick just grabbing me and just holding me, telling me things i 'needed' to hear, i wouldve left.

Today Lachlan hasnt slept at all, maybe an hr max (although he in bed now, not sure for how long), but it hasnt been bad cos he's been happy. He been feeding 3-4hrly yesterday and today, with top up feeds inbetween, so im assuming he is going through a growth spurt, cant wait for the always sleeping part of it, help me catch up on long lost sleep!! LOL

I dont post here often but i do read, its just that last few days have been very very trying, i normally end up on BB live chat for some company advice and support.

Rick been getting on my nerves a bit too, which i hate admitting, but he gets home from work and if Lachie been having a whingy day like he has been, and rick had a hard day at work, he can only handle it for about 10min before he gets fustrated and comes to take it out on me, saying 'whats wrong with him' or "you take him, i cant handle it", ive tried talking to him about it, letting him know how he has been before he gets home etc, but half the time it doesnt work and then i bite back and say 'how the hell can you be getting fustrated so quickly, when ive delt with it all day and you've told me on the ph to calm down!!", MEN
but other then that he is really good, it doesnt happen everyday or regularly, so i hate saying this, but it just gets to me at times.

Lachlan hates being put down most times aswell, we had real dramas and still do to a point about putting him down in his cradle. We have started to make a routine though, we feed him, burp him, if sleeping we put him down, if he awake but tired i cuddle him until he starts to shut his eyes and put him down, it works half the time, and even then will only work if he is ready for a sleep. Like today, it didnt work til i gave him his top up feed an hr ago, he been up pretty much all day. Hopefully he sleep well tonight!!

Well i have the hugest headache, but dont want to take anything for it, dont know why though.
Anyway so im off to read some more posts and then go and relax in the lounge before he wakes up for his next feed!!!

[Charlyfrog]

Oh Debbie! I hear you sweety, I truly do!! Even tho I supposedly have been there done that before with DD#1, I still told my DD#2 to 'shut up' the other morning when I was desperately tired and trying to get that elusive shut eye - thank goodness DH was there to push me back down into bed so I just sobbed into my pillow......

re: sore bb's - again, oh honey!! Sending you mental air cuddles right now! :hugs: What helped me cope (and still cope every so often as one nipple just refuses to get better, grrrrr) is expressing for 10-15mins per side before the feed and then giving little one the bottle. I was amazed at the mental relief I felt knowing that I wasn't about to face pain just to feed the munchkin. It can be a pain to sterilise everything etc but it was worth the pain free feedings. Plus DH could get involved and I could take a mental break.
The other week when I was sick, I expressed before a couple of feeds and then either DH or his mum (who was our live in nurse ) gave DD#2 100mls of ebm and then if it looked like she needed it, which she's a guts so did, they topped her up with 20mls of formula. We consulted with the hospital as to how much to give her. I must admit I struggled with the prospect of giving formula, thought I was being a bad mummy not doing full breast milk, but got over myself and realised you have to do what is best for you and baby......and am so glad I did!!
The midwife also suggested that I slept through the night and then either expressed extra during the following day or added a feed in to ensure my bb's didn't get blocked from missing a feed.
When I went to pick DH up from the hospital, I was driving home in tears telling him that I feel as though I am done with the whole bf thing ... I felt like my head was about to explode! I guess I know that this is a phase as Naomi54 said but when you're in the thick of it, it feels like it will never end! The one thing that is getting me through it is that I can look back and see that I got through it the first time so maybe I can do it again......................one day at a time.

I don't know if any of that is helpful to you but if you can somehow give your bb's a break, it is very beneficial to the brain! And you do what you need to to enjoy this journey honey ok??

And yes, you kinda want to throw daggers at those you complain that they are tired............................like you want to say, seriously, do not talk to me right now because you have absolutely nooooooooooo idea!!!!!

Thinking of you too Naomi54 - I am glad you got that hug when you did. Sending you mental cuddles as well lovely!

In fact, one big massive to all of you precious girls, I am so glad we have this outlet!

[~Debbie~]

Morning All
Thank you all ever so much for your words of comfort and support, It means the world to me.

I have bouncer, which he does like. Hates his play gym. I have some money that we have been given when he was born, and i have never spent it, so, i might go get a chair swing. He likes the mobile, i guess cause its battery operated, and therefore moves, where as he doesnt really pay any attention to the toy bar on the bouncer.

Generally, when Darren gets home from work about 4ish, and, depending where me & Aiden are up to, has a shower, and takes over Aiden, which is great. Gives me time to just do stuff without having to worry about him. And Darren will have him to one of them wants to go to bed, which is generally Darren at about 9, and Aiden will mostly stay up till about 11. The last few nights, have been boob feeding him about 9, and then formula feeding at 11, and Aiden will sleep solid for about 4 1/2hours, which is great. Did it last night, although, didnt get him to sleep till midnight.

Some days, he is awake from 6 or 7am, right thru till 9 at night, and just cat naps during the day. Mostly thou, he is happy enough in his bouncer. Other days, he will sleep nearly all day. On these days, i do the right thing, and sleep in the mornings, but, over the rest of the day, while he is asleep, instead of taking the opportunity to do stuff around the house, i sit on the net so, have to rearrange my thinking alittle, and be on the net when he is awake.

My bbs are fine today. I think my biggest problem was this - and in hindsight, i know what i did was not right, but, you know, seem like the right thing. On Wednesday night, i cook a green curry, maybe to much curry paste, so, i expressed a feed before i had dinner, and decided to FF overnight, as i was worried about the curry. Problem being, i didnt express over night, to get rid of the milk. Thursday morning, yesterday, bbs where huge and sore. So, i expressed. Between the 2 of them, something stupid like nearly 400ml. And chucked the milk. So, when time came to bf, they where sore from being so huge, and i think sore from being expressed so much in one hit. And by god, did it hurt. By the end of the day, it was all back to normal feeling again.

His spew, (before the b/f saga) was after a FF, which i think i forced him to have abit to much. And it was heaps. He was laying on our bed, did this big power spew. Then another little one. I had just got a face washer, to wipe his face, he was looking up, and while the washer was above his face, he spewed again, massive one, and, cause the washer was there, it blocked the path, and it sorta rebounded back, all over his face and hair.

I could handle that, thought it was funny, but it was the pain of b/f feeding that started the everything off.

Partly my fault, my own sense of pride i suppose. Do you have it when you get mad, and then, you just want to do everything? I was like that. I was ****ed off, so, the more annoyed i got,the more determined i got to do more stuff. The more stuff i did, the more i got annoyed, and irational. Bloody stupid.

Darren is a great help, in that he will have Aiden for hours in the evening, helps burp him, and try to settle him if he is upset. Darren is better at burping him and calming him when he is upset, i think cause he has bigger hands or something. He just gets him in this hold, that i cant do, and it seems to work. Last night, i was feeding Aiden, and he was fussing around alot, and crying, and Darren was like "Is this is what he is like during the day?" and i am like yep, you know why its gets on top of me sometimes. I think he sometimes doesnt realise, that, on a bad day, it can take nearly an hour to feed, change and settle Aiden. Do that 6, 7, 8 times a day? Doesnt leave much time elsewhere. But, other days, can have it all over and done with within 30mins.

I was at the shops yesterday, and a the lady at the register said to me something along the lines of hows it going, i said somedays, not to good. She said, it will get better. Poor love, i nearly broke down and cried!

When Darren got home yesterday, i was abit upset, and just sorta said that he had been upset alot, and it was painful to b/f. Gave me a hug, but, i dont think he realised how upset i was. Untill.... later, he had Aiden, and said to him, something along the lines of "look how big you are getting, must be because you have such a great mum" and i burst into tears, saying, i am horrid mum, told him i yelled at him, etc etc, talked to him more about it. He says i doing wonderful job, its stressful, dont be to hard on myself, all that stuff.

He wanted me to FF for a day, to give bbs a break, but, i think i am better off keep going. If i stop, i will probably stick to FF. And i want to try to stick it out for 6months. I still have that, would be replaceable feeling if i went to ff full time, and also, i love the look Aiden gets on his face when he sees bb's, it is so damn cute.

So, if you are still reading this, sorry its so long, but, hopefully, touch wood, will be back on track. Having lunch with some of the BB girls today, so, looking forward to that.

Thanks again girls for your support. I am grateful that we all have this outlet to share our feelings, and just, get it all out!

Have a great day

[PinkPalace]

hi girls,
i often write but i feel like i never get any responses, my posts are skipped when people respond to others.
But i need to vent about the terrible night i had last night with dd.

i am, sick with the flue/sinus infection which it seems dd has picked up.

She wouldnt settle, kept sneezing, coughing on what seems postnasal drip, snorting and crying.
If i gave her her dummy she usually settles but struggles to breathe with it in.

I didnt want to bring her in bed with me (which is what i usually do) cause i dont want to breathe on her or cough so her so that she gets sicker.

By 4 am all i could do was sit her in her bouncer chair which is almost an upright position on vibrate to get her to sleep for an hour and a half, i think she breathes easier upright.

Also now she wont lay flat in the pram i have to have her up or she cries and cries and she did a huge vomit this morning.

I hope it isnt harmful sitting her upright with little neck support. her head sits upright resting her chin or her chest but she can breathe and doesnt struggle like this.

I dont mind if my post is skipped or no one responds i just needed to get that out about poor dd.

[Missy]

Hi ladies

Just popping in and want to say congrats to you all on the birth of your babies.
Tina your little girl is getting so give. She is beautiful. Well done hun

Take care all.

[MumofLewis]

PrincessMya - So sorry you feel your posts are overlooked, I know that I sometimes only respond to the most recent posts as there is often so much to read. But I'm sure everyone reads your posts and takes it all in.
Poor DD getting your flu. Have you tried the baby balsam or one of those vaporiser things for her room. I saw some in the chemist yesterday. I don't think it will harm her sleeping upright temporarily, sometimes Lewis drops off in his swing and I leave him rather than wake him up. I suppose as long as the majority of their sleeps are lying down it would be fine. Whatever makes her feel better.

I'm not sure if it is just a coincidence but yesterday I gave Lewis some warm water and infants friend before his sleep and a long massage and he slept from 7pm-4am!! I couldn't believe it. Then he slept from 5.30am - 9.30am!! And he didn't make any painful moaning noises in his sleep. I actually felt guilty because I slept solid and didn't even notice he hadn't woken up!
I will definitely be trying it again tonight. I'm wondering if all his wind pains are what makes him sleep so restlessly normally and this is the answer. Or was it just a good night and tonight he will have a shocker!! I'll let you all know.....

[MumofLewis]

P.S Hope you feel better today Debbie. I felt exactly like you last friday, but have started to think 'today is a new day' every morning when I wake up, and just start again.
And when he does cute little things it makes it all worth it doesn't it. I admire you for continuing to breast feed, it is supposed to be so hard for alot of people so you are doing great.

[PinkPalace]

Mum of Lewis
HOw much warm water did you give him with the infants friend?
I havent used the balsam - maybe i should try it.

At the moment ashley sleeps in her bouncer all day because she cries if flat (even if i have the mattress propped at am angle)...

[MumofLewis]

I gave him 10 drops of infants friend with 20mls of warm boiled water. Apparently the warm water pushes their wind through. He doesn't like the taste though!

[bigbird2girls]

Princessmya,

I have my posts overlooked too but it doesn't offend me at all as we are all very busy mums and i no that i skim through most posts and answer only sometimes.Sorry that you felt this way though.

In reference to colds and snuffles. Shayla has the snuffles at the moment and i tok her to the doctor not much will solve the problem at this age. I have been doing the following which might be of help to you:

1. Euky bear rub a little on the chest or the clothes
2. I have saline nose drops called Fess little noses with soft tip nasal aspirator - this is a thing that can suck the mucus out of your little ones nose.
3. I also have her cot mattress raised at the end so she is slightly sleeping upright so the fluid and gunk stops running down the back of her throat etc.
4. A vicks vaporizer for her room - Not cheap but a good investment

It has cleared up but keeps coming back but it is mainly the cane harvesting and pollen and that in the air in cairns thats causing her snuffles etc.

Maybe you could also try Infacol and put this in ashleys bottle if FF or give him some before you BF as this seems to get the wind out of Shayla. She is both FF and Bf i have changed her formula as well to be Karicare thickened formula and she seems to be not as windy as it is designed so bubba sucks her fluids slower (thicker so harder.)

Hope this helps you and good luck

Jen

[naomi54]

Hey Ladies,

Firstly big hugs to you princessmya, i am sorry that you feel your post (feelings and thoughts) are over looked, its not the case, i do read all the posts and take it all in. I too feel like that at times, but i know that my post has been read but most people reply to the recent posts as generally there is so much to catch up on, or they just do selfish posts (which means they just needed to get stuff of their chests and havnt replied to any other posts, which is normal and understandable, especially when you have a little one around). I vow to you that i will make sure that i respong to each of your posts even if to say hugs to you, i know how it feels, to be feeling left out. Big hugs to you

Im sorry to hear you had a bad night with Ashley, I dont know what else to suggest except agree with what mumoflewis suggested. I hope she settles down for you. If anything take her to the Dr's or ring parents help line (not just for emergencies) and ask them for advice/suggestions.

Mumoflewis: i might try that boiled water and infants friend. Lachie seems to suffer from both colic and reflux, he also grunts and groans all the time, maybe its cause of this.

Debbie: Im so very jealous of you being able to stick to BF, im very proud of you. I wish that i didnt listen to my anxiety attacks or pay attention to the pain that i got while BF and stuck to it, i regret to a point of not continuing to BF, but i just think either FF or BF he is being fed and thriving.
Im so glad Darren is there for you, he sounds like he does a great job.
Sweetie......You ARE a great mum, dont ever doubt yourself. Aiden wouldnt be doing thriving as well as he is if you wernt a great mum.

Note to self: take own advice lol

[~Debbie~]

I gave him 10 drops of infants friend with 20mls of warm boiled water. Apparently the warm water pushes their wind through. He doesn't like the taste though!

Princessmya - i do the same thing. I think i might give 20drops thou. On a 5ml syringe, 10drops is equal to 0.4ml. So i just give him 1ml of infants friend, which, as it nearly always has bubbles in it which takes up abit of room.

[Starfish]

Hi ladies

Princessmya - hugs - I sometimes feel as if my posts are overlooked too, but I am sure that this is not the case. I am sure it is the same with you. I often feel guilty as by the time I finish writing a post and submit it I realise that there are still people that I forgot to respond to. So don't take it personally. I read all posts and take them in. I feel for you getting sick so soon after giving birth. It must be awful! I hope that both you and Ashley get better soon. Have you got support from family or friends? Hope so. Hugs.

Debbie - glad that you are feeling better. Your initial post reminded me of exactly the way I was feeling a few weeks ago, i.e. sore boobs, feeling unappreciated, tired and frustrated with Diana because she kept crying. I too yelled at her to shut up (sounds awful, but I feel so much better knowing that I am not the only one that has done this). Sounds like you have a fantastic and supportive partner and that you and your family are doing well. Good on you for continuing to breastfeed. I am perservering with breastfeeding too and am finiding it easier as the weeks progress. Although sometimes Diana seems to forget how to latch on... What about you?

Hope everyone else is doing well. Diana is demanding a feed, so I better go. Wishing you all a great weekend.

[PinkPalace]

Mumtocheekygirl - Thanks for your advice, I tried the mattress raised last night and she kept sliding down, i only put one pillow under it. She will co-sleep ok her back in the mornings though? So not sure. We used to give infacol/infants friend but she screams alot on it so we stopped. We have started demazin to dry her up cause now she has a blocked tear duct from the build up of mucous in her sinuses, so hopefully after a few days that will clear up.

Naomi- thanks for your replys, I think i was probably having one of those... 'look at me, pay attention to me, why isnt anyone listening! ... iykwim. I know that you often reply to my posts so thank you!!!

Debbie - I tried to give infants gavisicon in 20 ml warm sterile water, Ashley wont take a bottle and so i have to syringe it in her mouth... long long process. Not sure if it worked or not though? Good luck and more power to you btw for your persistant breastfeeding. Now that things are settling down with my supply i really enjoy it. still have a fast let down though which is messy at the best of times... big hugs

Has anyone has success with gaviscon infant for reflux?

Starfish - Yes being sick sucks! As you can read above Ashley is in the wars, Blocked tear duct, snuffles and red lumps/rash which the dr says is an ezcema all over her head, face and neck Dr said that it will flare up when something is not right... she looks like she has the chicken pox. i was in the chemist and this lady was oh what a little baby how old, and came around to see her and she looked terrible with dots everywhere and pus in her eyes.. i dont think she knew what to say.... Its funny i felt like a bad mum with this child that looked poorly cared for...

Ashley didnt sleep hardly at all last night, so neither did i! lol, its true that mums dont get sick days.
She has been sleeping all day though, i am going to let it slide because i want her to get better and recoup - and i doubt letting her sleep heaps for a day or two during daytime is goig to hurt her sleepin patterns! *i hope not anyhow*

Again... thanks girls for showing me i am not just typing to no one ! lol

:P

[naomi54]

big hugs to you princessmya
Lachlan been a bum head to, but as we think he going through a growth spurt am letting him off. Feeding every 2hrs atm, and he bottle fed 180mls per feed, been having 120mls with his top up feeds, not sleeping unless we hold him, not wanting to go in his swing or on his play gym, so have pretty much held him all day and all night, he sleeping now though, he just passed out though!!
Lachie suffers from Reflux and Colic, have tried gripe water, infacol, warm water, proping his bed up nothing works. So will be interested to hear replies of the gaviscon infant, see if that works, if it does will give that a go.

Well im off going to enjoy Ricks company (although playing his damn xbox with a friend) before Lachie wakes up again.

Have a good night, will prob be back a bit later.

Princessmya: its ok to have what about me days, i think i have them nearly everyday! :-)