Christy - just saw you other post, and did reply but the computer had a spack. just wanted to give you a Will deliver it in person hun on Tuesday. Have you thought about getting in contact with a ADS support group?
Yes I think I will now vicky, I've been avoiding it so far, but today I needed to be able to talk to someone who had btdt. Not so much that Matilda was bad today, but that I realised how little I get to do because of her. I feel like a bad mum having her at Montessori an extra day a week so I can do the main shopping for the house.... thats it, the only reason she's there on a Tuesday is so I can organise food etc for our house because I can't have her at the shops with me.
Jovie... woke up from her 20 minute nap screaming for 45 minutes. I took her to the GP & she has tonsilitis man.... I thought the low grade temp, grizzly and slight runny nose was teeth. I'm glad I took her to the GP.
Its been too long since postings. To tell you the truth i've been a bit down coz we've been TTC for the last 5 months now and still nothing. I dont know if its me. or DH.
On the other front Ella's doing well with the walking and talking. She says so much and picks up new words so quickly we really need to watch ourselves.
She does have hand foot and mouth again. The whole CC has it. She's fine just been a difficult eater...
BellyBelly Life Member - Love all your MCN friends
Jun 2004
The Festival State
3,008
I read the LAST page of the previous thread
and the FIRST page of this thread
so i'm still a bit behind, but thought that was better than nothing (to attempt to TRY and catch up).
TARALEE - have you had your bub yet?
bilby can only say two words - Mumma and Dadda - so don't stress that Evie is not saying lots of words. Just like Vicky said, even our low word count bubbas, have "other ways" of getting their needs across. Bilby is very expressive with her eyes, nods alot, and is great at pointing.
KIMBAZ - congrats on #3 if i haven't said it before (i'm confused if i did or not, cos seeing #3 in your sig was not a surprise to me).
I didn't have a baby shower for bilby.
I went to a Blessingway for a friend last Saturday night. We made a bead bracelet for her, all tied a piece of red yarn around our wrists, that we will only cut off, once her bub is out and safe, painted a sunflower in henna, on her lovely round 35 week preg belly, and each told her a beautiful thing we came to realise, when we were pregnant. She desperately needs a maternity bra, so we all chipped in to give her a lingerie shop voucher.
My friend coudln't stop crying most of the night, when she wasn't laughing (it was such a hoot to henna her belly) - it was a lovely, candlelit night with more herbal tea than i've ever drunk before. first night i've been out until 2am since bilby came along.
AJP - sorry to hear about the gastro - that really is the pits i'll bet
CHRISTY - what are all these acronyms? What is AHD and BTHT or something like that?
What you said about putting baby in extra childcare, just to get stuff done - i feel like i am getting NOTHING done, not even having meals, barely getting to go to the loo, with ONE baby around. But i put that down to PND - me not "doing it right".
US - bilby cut her first round of molars while in hospy.
we were there for two weeks (used our modern cloth nappies the entire time).
it was horrible, disempowering, intimidating, put us even further backwards, if that is at all possible.
The hospy WRITTEN policy is pro-breastfeeding for example. I was told to cut our feeds to TWO a day (from 12) - which was so stressful to cut so drastically (in one day). I have been since told by a private Lactation Consultant, that what i was told, was not helpful, she recommends cutting one feed at a time, not ten!! There policy says, feeding up to two years and beyond is desirable, but in real life, they wanted me to wean her at 19 months.
I was told to give bilby cow's milk in a cup, cos there is supposedly no nutrition in my BM - again, totally untrue.
So many things i was told to do, watched over to make sure i did them, yelled at if i didn't.
Many things about bilby's day to day care were taken away from me - even dumb little things like we don't give her sugar biscuits. The nurses insisted on giving her sugary biscuits when i was not in bilby's presence. I felt so underminded. That is a tiny example, but her personal safety upset me way more. SHe burnt her thumb on a halogen lamp that was down low in a public area - that place is NOT toddler proof and with NO toddler gates anywhere, in an old place with lots of 90 degree corners, i was at my wits end trying to keep track of her all the time.
The food was dreadful, many mealtimes, there was nothing suitable for me to give bilby. (the toddler food might have hot chilli in it for example). So i was getting it in the neck for how LITTLE she ate, in an environment where i couldn't control the food she got.
Since we have been home, i have gradually increased her breastfeeds up to 4 - 6 a day (the first few days, i half expected someone official to pop up and yell at me for feeding her), and surprise surprise, she is eating more solids now.
i wish i had never gone to that PND clinic, at least a week out of there, i am still regaining some confidence in how i parent.
bilby is still traumatised from how she was treated in that place, lots of clingy behaviour and acting out. I am a bit in shock that i ever asked to go there - and how anti breastfeeding that place is, actually, quite anti-children really, not to mention de-empowering of mothers. Even if they thought i was a total loser, these people didn't even consult my dh on decisions affecting bilby.
Written policy of an organisation can be WORLDS apart from the day to day practice of the staff - that's what i learnt.
I don't actually believe there IS help for PND. If the place i went to, is the only place available in my city for women with PND, i'd rather chew off my own toenails than go there again.
i was so sleep deprived and exhausted when i went there, i just went with the flow, agreed to try new things - but there was no case management, no plans, no goals, no working together with us the parents. Two weeks there, i ddin't get seen ONCE for a PND counselling session of any kind.
what a joke. I think i was very patient - two weeks in an institution with three shifts of nurses, no privacy, never knowing what you were doing each day (most days, nothing), it was a LONG time. and very stressful. Like being a fish in a bowl, being watched, even innocuous things being recorded. i cannot tell you how glad i am to be out of there. At least i was there voluntarily, and not on any drugs. I cannot imagine how much worse it was be for the other women i met, lovely women who were just having a hard time of it.
in the end, i was so intimidated, i was frightened TO leave. SOme good friends helped me leave.
Oh gigi I'm so sorry that it was such a horrible experience. to change perspective, in leaving you have taken back your own personal power. and that is no more small thing to dismiss. Can I ask why you aren't on medication? I only ask, because having suffered PTSD and anxiety and depression I know that the only way that I was able to come through the other side was with medication. It didn't "fix" me - that came from all the hard work I did in counselling, but it did put my head in a place that was more receptive to change, and the hard work that went with it. If you don't want to take medication, fair enough, there are some great alternative therapies.Have you heard of tapping and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)? google it, there is a great website with instructions. For me it was a turning point. It really made a difference in how I "view" the world. Having lived in a state of hypervigelence for most of my life, learning to tap, enabled me to help stop the feelings of anxiety that at times threatened to send me over the edge. I think also understanding the physiological reasons as to why I react in certain ways to certain situations helped tremendously.
Your are right - there is no HELP for PND - it has to come from within you. There is support - but the hard work comes from you.
I hope that nothing I have said has affronted you, or offended you in anyway - that is not my intent. Please receive what I have said as I meant it, with love and understanding. I understand the dark place hun, and have been there, many times. I just want to share with you the way I found a light at the end of the tunnel, that wasnt an oncoming train.
Oh Gigi im so so sorry you had to go through all that. Im blown away by what you ave written and i cant find the words. I hope that you and your family can get back in track and look forward *Hugs*
gig i dont know what to say either who would have thought a place like that could be so bad for someone, not good, just wanting to give you a big take time to get back to a good place
just made some pumpkin soup and OMG it was awesome!!!!
sophie is supposed to be sleeping but having more fun banging around in her cot and blowing raspberries!!
Registered User
Will deliver it in person hun on Tuesday. Have you thought about getting in contact with a ADS support group?
man.... I thought the low grade temp, grizzly and slight runny nose was teeth. I'm glad I took her to the GP.
I'm so sorry that it was such a horrible experience. to change perspective, in leaving you have taken back your own personal power. and that is no more small thing to dismiss. Can I ask why you aren't on medication? I only ask, because having suffered PTSD and anxiety and depression I know that the only way that I was able to come through the other side was with medication. It didn't "fix" me - that came from all the hard work I did in counselling, but it did put my head in a place that was more receptive to change, and the hard work that went with it. If you don't want to take medication, fair enough, there are some great alternative therapies.Have you heard of tapping and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)? google it, there is a great website with instructions. For me it was a turning point. It really made a difference in how I "view" the world. Having lived in a state of hypervigelence for most of my life, learning to tap, enabled me to help stop the feelings of anxiety that at times threatened to send me over the edge. I think also understanding the physiological reasons as to why I react in certain ways to certain situations helped tremendously.
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