god I remember going from being the parent of one child to being the parent of two... and how incredilby overwhelming it was. we had moved from sydney to the sunshine coast, away from all our friends, and family (not that that was a bad thing!)not long after we moved here I fell pregnant with Nathan, and laura turned two... wasn't that fun!??!!! NOT - for the first three months of my pregnancy I was living on the sunshine coast by myself with a terrible two year old, and morning sickness that lasted 24 hrs a day. It wasn't until Nathan was 8 months old, and I found myself screaming at both of the kids, and locking myself in the bathroom sobbing, that I knew i had to do something.
talk talk talk... ask for help. if someone offers take it up. i hate that we have lost our sense of community. we may not be a physical community, but we are still a community of sorts. while we may not be able to do physical things for each other, we can be ears to listen. even being a voice on the end of the phone is immensely helpful. I have been the voice at the end of the phone for Nelly, Jols and christy. and Nelly and Christy have done the same for me. even if it is just to get you through the screaming times... when you need to refocus before you loose it totally.
Nelly - your beautiful hun. and that woman did have a tummy (and just quietly I think our boys were so amazing, and well behaved!!!!!!!) love you x
Nicola - you haven't done anything wrong babe - he is doing exactly what he should be doing. i know its incredibly hard, but try to disengage. try to remove the emotion out of it. I know it may sound easy for me to say it, aston is my third. most of the time (and I say most of the time- not all of time!) I can disengage from his tantrums. I say to him. yep buddy I know its tough, but that's how it is, and go about my business. as long as he isn't in any physical danger, i basically ignore it. disappear into my happy space. Nelly saw him chuck it today, because he couldn't have the whole container of grapes. when he didnt get the attention he was demanding - the fact that we ignored how he was behaving, he got over himself very quickly.
Last edited by tiggerandpooh; November 12th, 2008 at 08:36 PM.
We have tanties and stuff, but I guess compared to Matilda its mild. Jovie's one thing is following us around screaming to be carried. Always at times when you need both hands. When we say no, she gets on the ground and sobs and screams. You'd think we've been hurting her .
I used to have such a hard time when Matilda was this age. Seriously, I would be crying on the ground daily. I felt like such a failure as a mum. Matlida would harm herself seriously, if I said "no" she would run into a corner, like a table corner or a wall corner, until she bled. She would hold her breath until she passed out and she would try to escape everytime she was outside. She refused to be held or cuddled and would scream 6 hours a day. I am NOT saying she was more difficult than other children, just that it sucked big time for me. I had no family around & friends didn't know how to help me or what they could do other than offer advice at what I was doing wrong. We went to a Triple P course which helped with parenting and a few strong willed child seminars. We started going to indenpendant parenting counselling sessions weekly. It was full on. Only NOW... 2 years later we realise that she may have Asperger's. It all makes sense what she was doing.
Tara - FYI... She's been positively diagnosed with sensory integration issues and low muscle tone, but the ASD diagnosis is a bit further off. We moved and they wanted to do some more assessments which we couldn't do, so we are being transfered down here, and are on a waiting list for next year.
There have been definate days with Matilda where I have locked her in her room & stood outside breathing to get through it. We had to make her room like a padded room between 2yrs and 3yrs. So she could throw herself around & not hurt herself. She would recoil when we touched her.
Its good to know Im not the only one going through or has gone through this.
Zander does the intentional hurting himself sometimes....if he is near a wall when I say he cant have something he will just head butt the wall and if I say stop you will get a sore head he does it again...he is definitely strong willed.
He is also throwing things and hurting Wyatt. If there is an object in reach and he wants what he cant have he will just throw the object..whatever it is eg remote control,cup,fork and it will go flying. He intentionally rams his toys(big firetruck) into Wyatt and the other day he ran over the top of Wyatt in his peddle car, I heard Wyatt screaming and I went into the bedroom and he was sitting on top of wyatt who was face and head down. We put him straight into his bed when he is naughty till he calms down...we have put a nice mattress and pillow inside a portacot - its not as long as a normal cot but the sides are higher and its wider and he cant get out.......I am going to attempt the big boy bed in the new year.
Does he understand that he can hurt at this age????? or does he think its funny???
i just wanted you all to know that I haven't disappeared off the face of the earth, and I am practising what I preach... I'm letting you know what is going on in my world at the moment... read my blog. its explains it, and i just cant type it again.... so if you don't see me about... that is why.
Oh V i dont know what to say hun.....huge hugs is all i can do.....your a strong chick....take care of yourself as well ok? Im sorry you have to deal with that and all the best for your neice too.
BellyBelly Life Member - Love all your MCN friends
Jun 2004
The Festival State
3,008
There is a good reason your niece rang you Vicky. In this whole crazy chaotic world she survives in, she knows she can trust you and that you will listen to her.
Well had hossy appointment today....being sent for further tests on blood....they think i prob have GD....just great....3rd baby and everything falls to bits on me. Head very much engaged and head down....feel blah and so worried.
Have my scan this Sunday. The girls have combined birthday party on Saturday too!
Thanks my beautiful friends for the support. i'm ok. just keep doing things that keep me here in the NOW. my neice is doing ok. swinging from being distressed to being ok. I know being out of the chaos is a relief for her. just being able to do "normal" things like paint her toenails with Laura, and watch mama mia, and do teenage type things. dh has been amazing. he hates speaking on the phone yet has spoken to child safety on two seperate occasions, made up her bed in laura's room so that she felt safer, just came and said to me, "going to go over to the shopping centre this morning, and take L and Aston and Nathan. Thought I would get L something, to say thank you for doing jobs around here. might make her feel a bit better". Making me cry just thinking about it.
we have an appointment with Child safety on Monday. one day at a time is all we can do. so we are going to have fun this weekend. and deal with Monday on Monday.
Kim - I had GD with Aston. so if you have any questions hun ask away.
The girls had a great time at their little party....Chelsea had lots of fun playing with My friends little girl. And for the big news....Jasmine took 2-3 steps and was standing un-aided!!!!!!!!
thats exciting Kim. she will be running around before you know it! how exciting about your scan. I'm sure that bumblebee is definately a little boy.
I had a book party to do today, and Laura had her first mixed party (eek!) so DH took DN and the boys to the shopping centre. He picked up some sheets for aston, and gave DN some money to get herself a top. He said that she had a big grin on her face when he gave her the money, and was very thankful. She is starting to talk to him more, and even play a little which is a good indicator that she is feeling more comfortable and safe. She has major issues with men, so it makes me feel great that she is feeling safe with DH.
It was great to have some time out today for myself. the party i did was for very good friends, so it wasn't work - it was so lovely to spend time with them. I didnt leave until 2pm. Was just what I needed to do.
Tomorrow we are going to the beach and catching up with another BB friend and her daughter. so looking forward to seeing her. She has asked me to be present at the birth of her baby, I feel so incredibly priviledged and blessed to be a part of this.
Aston is asleep in his big bed tonight. he slept in it for his day sleep yesterday and today. we read stories on his bed tonight, and I asked him if he wanted to sleep there, and he said in a quiet little voice.. yis... and snuggled down into bed. feeling a little teary.. my little man is growing up.
BTW girls if you are interested in wanting to see what it is that I'm selling please let me know and I can send you catalogues.
thank you again for helping in keeping me grounded. it means a lot. x
V if you could send me one that would be great. I have a friend who does it...but still hasnt sent me any info but i know how busy she is and never online much to ask her...dont want to pester to much!
Thats so sweet of DN and Dh bonding....thats really great that she feels safe and wants to warm to him. How cute is Aston and his bed. Chelsea loves going to bed...its always a quick 'night Mummy' and the head snuggles into the pillow!
.
for u and ur poor neice its just not fair, i hope everything goes well for her, im glad she has u V 
Happy 2nd Birthday Bilby 
Bookmarks