Sorry, double post
Registered User
Sorry, double post
Registered User
LJ sounds like you are having a really tough time! Also sounds like DH needs a good kick up the bum
I know it's hard but you need to stay as calm as possible as the little ones pick up on our emotions. Looking back I can see that on our worst nights they have been the ones where I have not been coping and have been getting really stressed and anxious causing Leila to become even more unsettled. One night Leila decided she wouldn't settle down to sleep until 7:30am so I can totally sympathise with you! It is so challenging at times, I don't think anyone can really prepare you for the tough times. But everyone keeps telling me that there is light at the end of the tunnel and the 6 week mark is some sort of magical turning point when everything seems to settle down. Good to know but at the same time that for me is a month away!! Perhaps DS is doing a fair bit of growing at the moment hence all the feeds. I've noticed the same with Leila in the last 2 days, she just wants to feed feed feed!
Tammie sounds like you have a good routine so I wouldn't stress about it, I think whatever works for you & bubs is fine. They let you know when they are hungry so if Eli wants to feed more frequently he will, if not then I would say he is one very happy little bubba! I wish I had your routine actually! Leila feeds generally around every 3 hours and is an absolute guts! She gets so excited when she sees my boob and tends to guzzle down as much as she needs within 10 minutes, sometimes she's done in 5! It was starting to worry me as she was giving herself a bit of wind but just in the last day or 2 she's settled down and is feeding more slowing and for longer, around 15-20 minutes. Also seems to have helped with her sleeping too as we had a fantastic night last night, she settled easily and slept soundly for solid 3 hour blocks waking for a feed then straight back to sleep. That is the first time she has done that - normally she screams all night and wont settle so I definitely think the change in her feeding habits is helping with that. Anyway, if you and Eli are happy then I wouldn't change anything.
How is everyone else going? I think this forum is going to be great for all of us new mums to allow us to vent and get advice. As much as I feel for everybody who is going through difficult times it actually seems to help me in knowing that I am not alone as it is so easy to feel alone and isolated, as though you are the only one going through this. I hope everybody uses this to get the support they need - we are not alone, we have each other!
Hope everyone has a great day
Fi
BellyBelly Member
Lj- Sounds like he's a little over stimulated
Also you would have been given a health nurse line that you can call 24/7. Do it! They were my life savors with Annabelle
Try the pram
Registered User
Well after one good night we are back to having terrible nights again! It is so frustrating as I tried to do all the right things, all the same things that resulted in a great night the other night but nothing seemed to work and Leila just wouldn't settle. The only time I could get her to sleep was with her lying on my chest which I know is not a good thing to get in to but when she screams and screams and wont settle any other way what can you do? I know that without sleep she gets worse so I figured at least some sleep even though not in an ideal position is better than no sleep? I'm starting to feel like I'm losing it today. Last week I had a cracked, bleeding nipple which is still healing and sore to feed from and in the last couple of days I've had mastitis so I have felt dreadful with a really sore boob and fever, thankfully it seems to be clearing up now. This is all so hard!!!!!!!! To make it worse I have an exam to do - my last ever exam thank goodness. It is a take home exam which is not too bad and the lecturer gave me a few extra days to do it but I know it's not helping as I'm stressed and anxious about getting it done on top of having a baby that wont settle at night... I need a break!
Sorry, just had to get it all out
Fi
Registered User
Hey guys - love to those of you fighting to get some zzzz's - it really can drive you mad but hang in there!!
Those of you who don't have one - I highly recommend getting a Sleepy Wrap!! It is the absolute bomb!! Settles an unsettled baby very quickly, and as it holds them vertical, you can stick them in there after a feed and walk around with your arms free - or simply when you don't have the strength to hold them upright any longer!!! I had a baby bjorn for DS1, but in my experience it doesn't compare.
In response to Tammy's qu regarding feeding, we are feeding roughly every 3 hours (give or take 30 mins) around the clock at moment. I feed for 15 mins on 1 breast, then I do 10 mins of 'vertical' time to bring up wind, then its onto the other breast for another 15 mins, followed by more vertical time. Even if he is sound asleep I always do vertical time otherwise if i put him down he'll wake up with wind pains 10 or so mins later. So all up a feed takes about an hour.
Once the wind is up and he is settled - I put him down in his bassinette (wait for it...) on his tummy (yep - its my guilty secret!), with his little head to the side, and he goes straight off to sleep, waking for a feed roughly 3 hours from the last one.
I started tummy sleeping with DS1 when he was 6 weeks old as I had barely slept and couldn't bear the constant waking. My Mum urged me to try it as she reckoned it was the way they were told was safer in their day, so the babies could bring up wind better and not choke on their vomit. I know what they say about SIDS etc - but I have honestly not looked back since that day. Both my boys hate being on their back - even in a swaddle I think they must feel very exposed. Once on their tummy they just seem to snuggle in like they are against your chest and nod off. Its truely the only way I can survive - so don't kill me for revealing my secret!! My mattress is firm (and organic!) and I don't put any fluffy stuff in there!!! Jasper's bassinette is also right next to our bed so I can hear him and check on him regularly. At the end of the day you have to do what works for you - as they say.
Last edited by JellyBean; November 11th, 2009 at 01:57 PM. : added info
BellyBelly Member
I have birthed another NON SLEEPER!!!!
Fi- What ever works for you, and sleeping on your chest isn't that bad
It doesn't bother me in the slightest if Annabelle hopes into bed with us! I mean really they are only little for such a small time
JellyBean- Thats what my mum was told when we were born
Registered User
grr i posted a big reply and then BB decided to have a fit on me
LJ, you poor thing, my DH is still driving me up the wall he goes back to work tomorrow and as bad as i feel.. I CANT WAIT!!
DD is amazing, she blows me away everyday, i have a feeling she will do that for the rest of my life, while i was pregnant, i was saying i dont want any more babies, that she will be the one and only, but now im already thinking about the next one (not getting pg any time soon) but i know that in the future i would love to give her a brother or sister.
BFing is still a bit of a struggle, but its not too bad, my left boob isnt producing much milk and my right one produces all the milk basically which is frustrating as well as painful, im still putting her on the left one to try and stimulate milk but it doesnt seem to be working very well. any ideas?
anyway im off for now, bubs is awake
take care of your little ones ladies xxx
Registered User
Jellybean what is the sleepy wrap and where can I get one? Also what is the book you mentioned? I'm at my witts ends today after another restless night. I'm so totally exhausted. All I seem to do is feed her then try to settle her, feed her again etc etc and when settling takes forever or doesn't seem to work it feels like all I'm doing is feeding her and driving myself insane because one of my nipples is still really sore and it's a struggle to feed from that side, but seeing as I've had mastitis I know I need to keep using that boob otherwise it will all get much worse. So today I'm having a bit of a breakdown and I just don't know what to do!I know it will get better but in the meantime I don't know what to do so that I can cope with it better. As much as I love being a mum it is so much harder than I ever imagined!
Registered User
Sleepy Wrap & Sleep Book
Sure Fi - I totally understand hon - it IS really hard!! In other culures bubs are raised in a kind of community based care - with new mothers surrounded by women who share the burdon for the mother. Unfortunately in our culture we are expected to bear the brunt of taking care of children alone - and it can really take its toll. If you really need help just shout it from the rooftops to anyone who you dont mind being in your personal space.
Don't be afraid to say "I need food - please get me this or that" or "come and do my washing and clean my kitchen!" If they really want to help you (instead of just ogle at baby) they will come running.
So - the sleepy wrap - you can order it online from nursing angel - they have everything you need for breastfeeding and babywearing. Comes in a great range of colours and one size fits all - even Dad! Its a bit fiddly to get on at first but once you get used to it its a peice of cake. I just put it on at the start of the day (and sometimes at night) and after each feed Jasper goes straight into it and falls asleep whilst I walk around the house. Rather than carry him until the next feed, I gently take him out when he is sound and place him on his tummy in his bassinette (as mentioned in my previous post). Whether or not you feel comfortable trying the tummy part is up to you - but I honestly would be in Ds's room every few minutes if I laid him on his back!
The book is called On Becoming Babywise - there is a website where you can order the book and accompanying DVD. I can't post any links here but if you can't find it PM me and I'll send them to you. You may not necessarily agree with everything written in the book, but like most baby books go - you just take what you want from it- what works for you. As I said before, it really helped me.
As a side note, I also kept a food journal with DS1 (wrote down what I ate) incase he had a particularly bad night with wind and that way, if there were any patterns present it would give me an idea of what foods to avoid. The tricky part was working out how long it took for a particular food to enter the breastmilk. I think i worked out that it took at least 7 hours - so, for example if I ate a strong curry for dinner, the next couple of feeds may be fine - 9pm, 12am etc, but DS would start reacting badly to feeds in the wee hours of the next morning - like the 3am or 6am feed
XX
BellyBelly Member
Fi- Your nipples will clear up
Jellybean what is the sleepy wrap and where can I get one? Also what is the book you mentioned? I'm at my witts ends today after another restless night. I'm so totally exhausted. All I seem to do is feed her then try to settle her, feed her again etc etc and when settling takes forever or doesn't seem to work it feels like all I'm doing is feeding her and driving myself insane because one of my nipples is still really sore and it's a struggle to feed from that side, but seeing as I've had mastitis I know I need to keep using that boob otherwise it will all get much worse. So today I'm having a bit of a breakdown and I just don't know what to do!
As for restless nights, try her pram???? Not ideal for a long period of time but will get you some sleep!
Well last night ladies I was up at 12am through till 4amI have another clingy bubs but this one seems alot more clingy then I thought possible haha
Though last night was the 1st night in a while Annabelle didn't had to my stress with waking up. She slept through, pitty Lucy didn't get the memo that mummy needs sleep to SURVIVE!
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