Nelle - Big hugs to you hon, one of my pet peeves is when people say 'just let the house get messy, nobody cares'... well, I (and obviously YOU) do care and it is really hard when you like your place just so and you are unable to actually get it done. I don't blame you for getting grumpy about it, nobody likes to have to nag just to get the simple stuff done. It'd be nice if one morning you got to wake up and say, the vacuuming or dishes had magically been done.
Sorry that I don't have any advice on this one, but I do understand where you are coming from.

If I lived closer to you, I'd offer to look after Riv for a few hours so you could get on top of it all.