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girls just a quick post to let you know i'm still alive :)
i couldn't get on to bb for days. it did my head in so i gave up.
then when i did finally get on i read the *disturbing* thread- i think you all know the one i'm talking about- and i really wish i hadn't.
it really really affected me. i'm having a lot of trouble dealing with it actually and have been having trouble sleeping from thinking about it.
i'm sorry for the really selfish post, i have been reading all your news but i just haven't felt like posting at all.....
noni- i'm stoked you guys are in the new place. congrats
hayley- glad mads is doing so much better.
ange- we should meet up sometime soon. we could both wear our lulus in our ergos :)
hope everyone else is doing well xoxo
lewis is wearing size 1 (size 2 in bonds)
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Oh Gracie hun, don't apologise. I wish I could avoid all those threads too, but I have to read them as a mod. I hope it stops affecting you so much soon. xoxo.
Hayley, that's great news that Maddie is on the mend. Just try to keep her rugged up etc so she doesn't have a relapse. I find when the kids have had a good cold that once the night air comes in around 4pm in winter it can make them a bit congested again.
Clare, LOL at the thought of you stalking pg women and bombarding them with questions. It really isn't that hard to have more than one child - the jump from 0 to 1 is the hardest - at least when you have two you have some idea of what you're doing this time LMAO. OUCH at the cost of the braces - we are really hoping that our kids have my great teeth instead of DH's crappy ones - he had braces as a teen and hated every moment of them. Although Paige's are a little crooked from her thumb sucking (naughty for letting her do it I know) but I think they will be right once her adult teeth come through.
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Sherie: I know! so sad to spend that cash on drs! but i am grateful that we had set it aside for these kind of things...unfortunately when i was 37 weeks pregnant i got this 'ulcer' on the back of my gum, a few days later i realised it was a tooth and was like: 'what the?!' went to dentist after i had leila and was told that i had a baby tooth and the adult one decided to come through! oh happy days! the only option is braces, so i am fuming...
Gracie: IKWYM. i think as mothers, sisters, daughters, people in general it's pretty tough stuff. demand cuddles from DH and DS!! cuddles work wonders!
MM: so glad that maddie is getting better! oh that smile and need to play is so wonderful when they have been sick!
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sherie and clare- thanks for your understanding :hug:
i just wanted to say to everyone else, if you haven't already read the thread that i'm talking about- please don't read it out of curiosity because of me mentioning it. i'm not joking around- i really wish i hadn't read it, as i said- it's been affecting my sleep.
ange- i was just thinking, have you ever been to st andrews market on a saturday morning? i think it's over near your way
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Oh Gracie hun I'm so sorry you havent been able to sleep. I just spent an hour reading through it before I came in here and I have well and truely bawled my eyes out. If you feel like you want to talk about it feel free to PM. Incredibly heartbreaking story that makes you appreciate your own child/ren so much more. Huge hugs to you.
Trillian - I find that she has a real big coughing fit around 4/5am when it gets extra chilly. Thats when we bring her into our bed for snuggles and sometimes a warm bottle whoopsie lol. Ah well I'll do anything to keep her happy.
Clare - I love seeing pregnant women too. Before I was even pregnant I never really looked or thought twice when I saw a pregnant woman, but now I just want to talk to them iykwim. I love hearing how excited they are and remembering what it was like for DP and I eagerly awaiting labour. I could talk pregnancy and babies alllll day long. Thats why I love mothers group lol.
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MM: LOL! that's why i love mums group too!! although a few had pretty horrendous births so we cant talk too much about birth stuff...i save that for my friend down the road who had both her bubs at home. wish i could be that brave. but then again i do like the excitement of going somewhere when the time comes! also my house is so dark and cold...
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Gracie, :hug: I can't stop thinking about that thing too. It is so horrible. It was only a couple of suburbs away from where we lived in Brisbane. I keep thinking that we were happy at home while a few km's away those poor little bubs were in so much trouble. I just can't understand any of it.
MM, so glad to hear Maddie is on the mend. I have been giving W peanut butter since he started solids. I was going to wait but we were having satay chicken for dinner and I stated saying 'should we wait...' and looked up and W already had some hanging out of his mouth LOL
Clare, I can't help looking at all the preg ladies and new borns too. I remember how annoying it was when everyone was asking how old W was everywhere I went and now I do it.
MD, glad H liked her room. How do you find life with two gemini's? My DH is one and he is definitely prone to flights of fancy. He gets obsessed with a certain thing for a short while and then dumps it just as quickly as it began.
Sherie, sounds like you got some good bargains. Was L's eye problem something that he was born with? I was talking to a optometrist the other day about the likelihood of W having bad vision because I do. He said that short-sightedness is usually something you are born with or get in your teens, which I thought was quite interesting because I got short-sighted around 8-9, maybe I am a freak LOL. I have 20:100 in both eyes (or 6:30 in new money), it is quite a pain. I really hope W gets DH perfect vision.
I have been trying to write this all morning but everyone else keeps hogging the computer so now I have forgotten what I was going to say
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Gracie, You are not alone, I have lain awake with it going around and around in my head too. I can't shake the feeling that as a member of BB, this has happened "in our midst". PM me if you want to chat about it. xxx
Sherie, oh I love your story of having to journey through the wilds and cross the rising river to get to the sales and home again LOL! Sounds like you got some bargains, well done. I hope L's eye makes an improvement soon.
Clare, when I asked about DD's teeth at age 4, the dentist said, "Start saving!" One of her jaws not only protrudes, it's also asymmetrical. DH and his mother also have asymmetry around the mouth and jaw too so it's not like a complete surprise or anything. Hopefully E will have my jawbones instead. $7 k (insert expletive)!! That's Ducati money being spent on teeth LOL.
MM I'm so glad M is feeling much better. The cold can set of the coughing so bringing her to bed is an excellent idea. You could also keep her room heated until she's feeling better. We have an oil column heater we drag out for DD1 when she's sick like that.
ETA - Arte just saw your post. Life with two air signs - AAAAARGH! DH is very prone to sudden and rash behaviour - acts first then thinks, whereas DD is just off with the fairies (and has been ever since she was a baby LOL) and flits around socially from person to person in a very Gemini fashion. They are both near the cusp but I often think DH is quite strong in some of the cancerian traits. I'm a virgo so it'll be good having another earth sign in the house to ground the other two once E is a bit older. BTW re the early onset shortsightedness, it can kick in at any time during childhood and is hereditary so if you've had it you will need to get W checked every year. DH got glasses at age 11 and was probably blind for a year or two before that (:doh:) so we need to keep an eye on our kids. We had H at the optometrists every few months a year or so back because her vision kept changing and sometimes that's a shortsightedness-imminent sign. It seems to have settled back down.
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thanks so much arte, md and hayley
i just need to vent a little about it, i think. i've become a lot more upset since i found out she was a bb member. it's haunting me, in fact, because now it feels so much more real, like she's more tangible if that makes sense? thanks for all your offers of pms
i was actually going to pm you last night hayley, cos i saw that you were reading the thread (not stalking you, :) was just checking out who was online). the whole thing is just doing my head in. sometimes when i look at lewis, particularly if he's having a bit of a whinge, i imagine that he's one of those babies.
arte- i can't believe you were so happy just down the road from those little ones. if only you knew....
hayley- i know what you mean about being obsessed with pg women and babies. it's so funny how that happens isn't it? i don't think i ever really noticed them much before but now i just love looking at babies. it's also a real conversation starter too. it's like when you take your dog for a walk other 'dog people' will start talking to you, well now 'baby people' talk to me too :)
lewis has been sleeping so much lately guys. it's fantastic actually. he sleeps everyday now between about 10am-12pm. then he'll have another big arvo sleep. i'm really enjoying staying at home with him a bit more- not trying to go out and do as much as i used to, as i find he really loves being at home and having big sleeps (often in our big queen size bed!)
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Gracie, IKWYM about her being more tangible after finding out she was a BB member. She isn't just some horrible beast who shouldn't have had children, at some stage she was a proud mum like any of us. It makes me sick to think what must have been going on in her head to justify the extreme lack of care of those little bubs. And I think what gets me is that even if she had a catastrophic melt-down, that no one else noticed what was happening - especially the father living in the same house but says he hadn't seen them for 6 months! I can't get it out of my head.
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Gracie, at some point, for your own mental health, you will need to distract yourself by thinking of more positive things. Looking at Lewis and imagining those babies is not a healthy thing to do. You need to look at him and remind yourself of the ways in which you care for him and the ways in which you nurture and support other mothers in their parenting journey too. I have deliberately stayed away from posting in that thread because of my own experience of parenting neglect in my childhood and my everpresent fear that I'm not 'there' enough for my own girls. I dont think there will ever be any way any of us can make sense of what happened and in the meantime we need to look after ourselves how ever we can. xxx
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i know you're right md. i know.
i normally turn off the news straight away as soon as i see a story about any kind of animal cruelty eg. whaling as i can not handle it.
i have never been affected by a story about children in the same way as i have about this one. it is a combination of being a mother myself now, and her being from bb i think.
when i was pg someone gave me a card saying something along the lines of 'you won't believe the amount of love you will feel for your child, it is different from anything else you'll ever experience'. it is so true.
md- i didn't know you suffered from parental neglect in your childhood. i'm so sorry...and you are sooo there for your girls. you really are.
arte- i don't know what the dad was doing or thinking. i just don't know.
anyway.....time for some positive news. lewis is in the mid july spotlight catalogue. he's sitting up with a green polar fleece blanket wrapped around him. keep your eyes open! :)
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Gracie I know you are a compassionate and gentle soul and that's why this is so hard for you :hug:. Yes it's also because we are now mummies and love our little ones so much that this is so hard.
When I was a young thing one of my coworker's baby drowned while we were all at work.
At the time all the mums at work flipped right out, we had to organise trauma counselling, it was too close to us all.
At the time I remember thinking how I wasn't as affected (no kids as my own) as some of the other ladies. But 2 years later I had Hannah and I've been freakishly paranoid about drowning ever since. It affected me at a really deep level that I didn't understand until I had my own babies to love and protect. We are biochemically set up at this stage of our babies' lives to overreact to any potential threats and this makes it harder to cope when we hear of tragedy involving babies and children. I'm only saying all this so we can all be gentle on ourselves for reacting in whatever way we are reacting. (That includes me too). That is so true about the amount of love you will experience, it is like nothing else in this lifetime!
And Woohoo for Lewis in the Spotlight catalogue! I've signed up to get them in the mail again so I will be on the lookout! :D
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:hug:thanks md- i feel a lot better knowing that my reaction is, in a way, kind of healthy and normal as a new mum. i've found it quite unnerving- how severe my reaction has been. as i said, and this may sound strange, but i've always been extremely sensitive to animal cruelty but not so much to children- quite strange i know. this has just hit me like a ton of bricks. thanks for sharing about your reaction to your work friend's tragedy. like you said, this has affected me at a really deep level that i'm having trouble understanding as i've never experienced it before.
i think i'm also struggling a bit cos dp is working such long hours atm. it's great for our finances, but he's doing 10 hr days, 6 days a week. on sundays all he wants to do is sleep. i feel like we never see him :( i know it's not nearly as bad as when dh's go away (md, pregpan) but i'm really starting to miss him. when he does get home from work late at night it's such chaos with dinner and bath and getting L to sleep.
more news from our little family unit- i've decided not to ttc until (at the least) next year. we were being very slack with contraception (in other words, not using it :lol:) for a while there, but i've put the brakes on. dp wants us to get pg now! but i don't feel ready yet. i want some more time just with my little man.
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Gracie- :hug: It's not strange that in the past you were more effected by cruelty to animals than children that too is normal, given that animals were probably closer to you then children were. Hey if your free this Thursday, a couple of us girls are meeting at Chirnside for a cuppa, be great to see you, and maybe it would make you feel a little better. Check out the not sleeping thread i had going that you posted in, details in there. ;) I go to St Andrews market all the time, i love it. Would love to meet you there for a chai and a bit of shopping one weekend.
Can't wait for the spotlight catalogue now!
Cassius- Oh bummer about the braces. They're not so bad these days, the bits can be clear and are much smaller that they used to be. On the bright side, you'll have a great smile when they are done! I can't really sew, i'm just learning! I have been making pants for Lu.
MD- You give great advice. :)
Artechim- I have no idea on the whole 20/100 thing! Is that pretty severe? I was shortsighted, happened in my teens, but i had laser eye surgery, so no more glasses. It's great. I laughed when you said you ask how old babies are, i used to think it was silly when people asked all the time too, but now i do it! :doh:
Sherie- Those bendy glasses are the best, especially for kids. Why do you have until he is 9 to improve L vision? Is that when the eyes finish developing or something? Does he cope ok with the patch? Sometimes things like that are hard for kids, particularly at school. How good's the rain? We had 30mm too.
Sorry, my brain has gone to mush can't remember what else i was going to say!
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Guys I've been giving Maddie either panadol or nurofen at least once a day and sometimes at night for the past week, due to being ill. Is that really bad!? I'm worried now.
MD - Good advice! My dad too was raised in a neglectful environment and he has been the BEST dad ever, he has always been so cool and worked hard to pay for things that we wanted to do. I think once you've experienced that kind of environment you are an even better parent as you do whatever you can to ensure your children have the childhood that you deserved as a child. You are a great mum, how many mum's spend time decorating their daughters room!? Your girls are very lucky.
Gracie - Its hurtful to think that a mother, especially a BB mother, could do such a thing. She was unwell, which I know isnt an excuse, but she obviously needed some serious help. Try not to dwell on it so much, and you are right sometimes you just need to turn off the news or ignore certain articles because the amount of crap that goes on in this world is enough to cause a friggen mental breakdown! I hope you are feeling better.
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hi ange- i saw that you guys were meeting at chirnside on thurs but i've actually got mothers group at my house at 12pm that day. otherwise i would have loved to have come. please let me know the next time you go to st andrews and i'll meet you there. they have the best falafels ever. do you they have any baby stuff? last time i went was before i was pg and i ended up at the pub drinking pots :)
hayley- you're right, usually i'm ok at turning a blind eye at certain things but i got enthralled in that thread and couldn't stop :(
i'm sure the nurofen thing will be fine cos she's been so sick you've had no choice.
lewis is asleep again. he slept from 10am-12.30pm and then fell back asleep at 2.30pm and is still sleeping. he must be having a growth spurt yeah?
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Hayley, a dose of pain relief a couple of times a day is ok, as long as it is a short term thing. I was told by a dr after vaccinations it was fine to give panadol every 4 hours for 2-3 days so I am sure that what you are doing is fine. In South Africa they dose bubs with Codeine every few hours for pain relief, I am still in shock over that.
Ange, I was just looking at old threads and saw one you started about baby led solids. Are you still doing that? We haven't really given Will any spoon food. He will sometimes eat a couple of bites off a spoon but 99% of his food is self-fed finger food. It is working great for us.
Gracie, good to hear you have made a decision you are happy with re TTC. We have been slack with contraception too, but if I got pg it would have to be a cousin of christ because there isn't a lot of action around here LMAO
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MM- i feel like i give Lu too much paracetamol too. I held off and held off today but her temp was 38.2 and rising, so i gave her some. When she had a virus last time, her temp was up to 39.9, i was giving her panadol about every 6 hours for 3 days. (i did see Dr and it was on his advice. ;) ) As long as you are giving her panadol because she is in pain or has a fever and needs it, i don't think you are giving her too much. Bronchiolitis can be nasty and take a while to get over. I think you are doing a great job.
ETA- Art- yeah we still doo the BLS thing. She loves it. I help her with yoghurt and soup though, otherwise it ends up as hair gel! Oh and i sometimes try and feed her if we are out, just to save on the mess.
Bummer Gracie, next time. ;) Will definately meet you at St Andrews sometime, they do have a bit of kids stuff, although the market changes from week to week, sometimes there is more than others. mmmmm i luff the falafel too!
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Ahhhh I'm going to kill my DP - he just invited his parents on our little holiday to Bali next year! Nooooo! I am so not going anymore. Why would he do such a thing!?
Thanks ladies for the reassurance re the pain relief.
Gracie - Must be a growth spurt. I wouldnt worry too much.
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MM, arrrggghhhh! Do you think they will go? Is there any way to politely uninvite them? Who had the problem with the IL's in an adjoining room for a holiday?
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Yes that was me Arte!!!!!!! Its bad enough that we are going to KL with them in Sept this year. I did do a sneaky and change the adjoining rooms hehe so that helps. But OMG I so wanted a nice holiday for the 3 of us, so we had planned for Bali next March and what does DP do "So mum do you wanna come to Bali with us!?" and of course she said yes to that. They will definately make plans to come, so either DP comes out and tells them no or we are not going all together. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
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I would go nuts if my DH did that! OMG. Does he know that would upset you? wow, i am a bit speechless! hope they can't make it you poor thing.
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Hi Girls!
MM: LOL! your DH is in sooo much trouble!! i would be peeved! "ah, hello, romantic time honey??". oh well if they do come to bali, use their grandparenting rights to the max and make sure maddie spends quality time with them while you hang out in pool bar!
Arte: he he he. yep, the action can be pretty sparse these days. but i think in my case it would be the 2nd removed cousin of christ!
You can go to an opthamologist who specialises in kids. i have had to take leila every 6 months (birth, 6 months and then again when she is 12 months....oh joy!).
Ange: excuse my ignorance but what is baby led solids? sounds interesting...leila is just doing finger food ATM as her forays with the spoon end up in brett whitely impersonations on the wall in hues of pumpkin or peas!!
Gracie: man can you get lewis to talk with leila?? she is deciding that day sleeps are for babies and she doesnt need to do them. yesterday i could only get her down for 1 hour. this coming from a girl that up until last week would have 2 1-2 hour sleeps a day. as a result she is waking up angry at 4am in the morning too. :doh:
MD: i know, imagine all the stocktake shopping i could have been doing with 7K! awwwww. all i can say for DD is get in early!! they have an adult tax (i think) on braces as i want the clear ones...well actually i wanted the ones that go BEHIND the teeth, but as usual i have done the best i could and cant have them as the adult tooth is on the inside and it would interfere with the braces...ARRRRGGHHHH!
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Clare, baby led solids is basically just skipping the spoon-fed puree stage and starting with finger foods. W clamped his mouth shut at the approach of a spoon but is more than happy to shovel food in by himself. At the start he gagged a bit when he put too much in his gob but learned pretty quickly how much was too much and he has never come close to choking. It works really well for us (and is much easier in terms of preparing food because he usually has bits of what we have).
Sucks that you have to spend 7K on braces! I would be gutted! I have two baby teeth still but there are no grown up teeth under them. Apparently they will get wiggly and fall out at some stage (provided they don't rot away first lol) and I will be left with gaps. The dentist said something about bridging when that happens but I am not sure what that is, sounds expensive though. At least I don't have wisdom teeth.
MM, I can't believe that your DP would make the same (very) stupid mistake twice!
I think I am going to get a nipplectomy. Just about every time W attaches he seems to take a few seconds to remember to suckle so he just grabs hold with his (razor sharp) teeth. I have tried saying No and have confiscated the boobie, but he does it again next time. I feel bad for growling him all the time, because sometimes now when he does it his little face crumples up and he starts crying before I even say anything :(
Also, I have realised that I have done something really embarrassing. At playcenter there is a calendar on the wall where we can put bubs birthday. I filled it in the other day and wrote W's birthday as the 7th instead of the 10th! What do I do now? Do I admit I got his birthday wrong and change it, or just keep quiet and have a little birthday party a few days earlier LOL
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Arte - lol at getting his birthday wrong!! I'd admit it, but put it down to a completely sleep deprived moment!! Was he due on the 7th is that why you wrote that one down? We're not having nipplectomies here, but I think she thinks it's finger food - can't do more than 3 sucks without trying to stick her fingers in there as well! Very annoying as she keeps scratching me and I'm petrified that she's more likely to bite if her finger is interfering with the sucking.
MM - sounds like your DH needs some serious talking to about family holidays! And checking with you before opening his mouth. Hope you sort that one out. How is Maddie going?
Clare - ouchie on the separators.
Trillian - well done on the shopping expedition. I wish we had some bigger shops here, will have to save up until we go to Canberra next.
Well DD is still sick. Has a bad phlegmy cough and a runny nose. Woke herself up from her morning nap with a cough, but was OK overnight, was able to get herself back to sleep each time. We have a vapouriser in her room, I like the idea of putting one end of the cot up but she's so mobile in there she'd probably end up with her head at the low end! Swimming is cancelled tomorrow which is good as I don't think she'd be up for it.
DH has taken her for a short trip out so I've managed to do the vacuuming and having a chance to catch up on here.
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