Aww Andie, you poor bugger, sounds like you are doing it a bit tough, infact it sounds like you are all doing it tough. It's not nice being sick. Everything seems so much harder when you have sick kids in the house and you are sleep deprived. You are doing an amazing job all on your own, and it will get easier again. The poor boys sound miserable, blisters in your mouth is not nice.
A loving mother doing the best she can is NOT going to ruin her boys lives, and it is not selfish to want to bring your kids up. You clearly love them dearly and are doing a great job, and after this rough patch things will all seem much clearer.
Do you have someone you can talk to on the phone? An understanding ear in time of crisis can be a wonderful thing.
Please don't apologise for letting it all out in here, that's why we are all here, to share the good times and the bad.

I'll be back later......