Noni the important thing here is not to get bogged down in negative self talk but concentrate on what you can do in a positive way to improve what you're unhappy about. Part of it is making sure you get that time out to rest and relax (very important in the MD world, I seem to need it more just to cope than some other women do). You've already started to take some really good steps, getting out for library and other activities/groups in your area. We have this huge Parenting centre near here where you can pop in any time you're feeling overwhelmed and have a chat to the ladies there. They have millions of tricks up their sleeves. Sometimes that's all it takes, staying one trick ahead of your child LOL. Maybe there is a service like that near you that you don't know about? Don't be shy. Trust me some days I think I'm the worst parent in the world (not helped by having had a bad family start in life myself) so if you don't feel like you're coping with what you're doing, get some help! (I did, it made all the difference to me when I needed it most).