This thread is for parents who's baby was born December 1st ~15th 2009
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There are many issues that you will encounter as a new parent. We have put together this list of useful articles and threads in order to assist you with some common questions or issues you may have, and to provide you with bit of extra support that we all need as new parents:
Please contact the Australian Breastfeeding Association (ABA) or a Lactation Consultant if you are concerned that you may have breastfeeding and/or supply problems, and before the introduction of solids.
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Last edited by Astrolady; May 17th, 2011 at 11:48 AM.
Wow can't believe how many bubs have been on 1 day sleep for so long! I am thinking because Amelia has been on a routine from day 1 that her body is still in that mode at the moment, the routine I follow says to expect them to start dropping the day nap around 14/16 months give or take so maybe it's to do with the way I've tuned in her sleeping habits lol. Either way I'm not fussed, I like having 2 breaks but at the same time 1 bigger one would mean I can go out and about without having to rush so much!
Off to the farm for a few days, I'm working tomorrow so am taking the laptop with me, at least I'll get to stay in touch that way!
I am at work today I have told the boss and one of the girls that works with me and the boss was really good, has told me if I need to go I can etc. I am trying my hardest to stay the day but not sure. I hardly slept last night so I feel even worse. I am absolutely devestated and can't believe my whole world has crashed around me. The only thing keeping me sane is my beautiful little man. I really don't think a part of me has accepted it.
Jett is 1 or 2 sleeps a day if it is 2 they are usually between 1 to 1.5hrs each or if it is only one it is 2-3hrs. I just go with his lead.
I really hope you are all well, I will try and pop on here as I miss u all very much especially as I don't have FB.
Alison have a great time down at the farm, relax and enjoy! xoxox
Lani - you're doing so well to be back at work already. I've been known to need a month off in similar situations! But if you have supportive people at work and you enjoy being there sometimes its the best place to be.
Alison - keep the two naps as long as you can! Because sometimes it can feel like a really long afternoon when they drop down to one nap. Especially if it's a short one. And yay for Amelia walking. Don't you think its fun once they start running aruond? It's so cute. And I'm finding Matilda is much happier to amuse herself since she started walking.
Kanda - Good luck on falling with number 3!!! You're going to have to give me some advice on having them close together. I'm not as nervous as I was but I'm still feeling a bit worried about how we'll all cope.
BS - Eva sounds like a she's a real conversationalist already! I hear you on the second pregnancy taking a bit more of a toll! I haven't been getting sick but I've been sooooooo tired. But I admit that's improving at the moment since Matilda has been well, sleeping better and happier. This pregnancy is really flying. It's going to be a bit of a shock when I look down and see a big belly. It seemed to take forever the last time.
Suz- Good to see you! You do so well to get on with two. And trying for number three!! Keep us posted on that ;-)
Willow - it's amazing to hear how different each of your boys have been. It just goes to show that its got little to do with parenting and everything to do with the baby! My MIL really got my back up recently when she blamed Matilda's clinginess on us moving around and travelling a bit this year. And in the same breath saying how she basically wore her second baby for 2 and half years (even though I know they lived in the same house and rarely travelled). I felt like saying "well it's not my fault your son keeps changing jobs and has moved me away from my family).
Beany - sometimes we're one nap a day and sometimes two at the moment. She had dropped her second nap for a couple of months and was only doing one 40 minute sleep which drove me nuts. She was overtired all of the time which was linked to that clingy phase. But at the moment if her morning sleep is 1 and a half hours or more she doesn't go down again. But if its short she crashes again around 3:30. So I just go on how tired she seems. But I don't feel there's any point fighting them tooth and nail on the second sleep if they don't want it.
AFUS - we still seem to be in a pretty good patch at the moment (touch wood). I dont' think I mentioned last time that we've dropped the lunch feed! I was dreading the weaning process but it has actually gone ok. But it breaks my heart. Every now and then during the afternoon Matilda will tap my chest with her little index finger look up at me and shake her head because she knows she isn't allowed to have any milk. It's so sad!!! But I think it's for the best for everyone. I've decided I'll drop the feed she has about 7am when she first gets up next. But I'll keep the 4:30am and the bedtime feed for awhile longer. I can't face dropping the 4:30am feed yet because it means we all get another 2 hours sleep or more. And I just know if I drop it we'll be starting the day at 4:30 or 5 at best. Matilda's also trying to say quite a few words and she seems to be developing her own little sign language. She actually asks for her hat in the sun by tapping her head. It's very cute and I'm glad I don't have to fight her to get her to wear it. And last night she got her wipes and lay down on the change mat on the floor when she wanted her nappy changed. We don't know if it was just a coincidence she had a dirty nappy or not. But I'm hoping she's becoming more aware so I can start toilet training!!! Second and third time mums have I got any hope in getting Matilda out of nappies before the next baby in July?
Just a quickie to let you guys know that everything went well with the stitches today. I went to sleep and woke up and it was over, a bit of bleeding and am tired but nothing crazy and I should be back to normal tom or fri at the latest. Will try to post longer then.
BS that is great to hear, hopefully you will be back to normal before you know it and the remainder of the pregnancy will all be smooth sailing.
I am at work again today, however am feeling worse today than I did yesterday, I hardly slept at all last night. I copped an abusive phonecall from the girls's fiance as Paul wont answer any of his calls. This guy wants to kill Paul. He has threatened and now I am starting to feel scared by him too. I really don't need this ontop of trying to deal with my emotions and feelings as it is.
I went off at Paul last night and told him to man up and face what he has done instead of being a scaredy cat.
He reackons he has got our address from his brother that works at Vodafone as that is who we both had our mobiles with. I am not worried by that as I am not at the house but Paul had Jett there 2 nights ago.
I really don't know what to do.
It's only 4 nights til my parents return and I can tell them.
Sorry to dump this on you all.
Hope you are all well
Sorry for no personals and a very selfish post.
Happy New Year girls. Thought I'd better post a quickie to subscribe since we have a new thread.
Lani - Still thinking of you. Don't apologise for dumping here....we're all here for you. Would it be worth contacting the police? Not to report or anything (although I'm thinking the brother that works at Vodafone has broken all kinds of privacy laws), but to get some advice as to how you can feel safe. Sounds like the girl's fiance is as hurt and angry as you are...unfortunately his anger is misplaced as it should be directed as his fiancee. And as for Paul, you ****wit! How dare you do that to your beautiful wife and son, but to not take responsibility and deal with the people you've hurt! Man up for pity's sake. Sorry Lani, but people hiding from their mistakes makes me angry. I'm glad your parents will be home soon.
Rose - Thinking of you and your family
BS - Glad the stitches went in successfully. Does this mean you'll be able to remain as active as normal during this pregnancy? I remember how frustrated you were not being able to exercise (or DTD :wink with Eva.
Tilda - Sounds promising if Matilda asked to have her nappy changed. I guess you'll just have to wait and see if she does it again.
Alison - Have a great time at the farm!
kanda - Great to hear from you. Been wondering how you've been getting on. All the best with TTC
willow - DS2 may have been the dream baby, but isn't he the one giving you grief as a teenager? Hopefully Harry will be a polite, happy, multi-syllabic teenager. I honestly think you're a champ for taking his lead, never questioning whether you're doing it right, and just going with the flow.
suz - Good luck for number 3!
Carmey and sesame. Have I forgotten anyone?
AFUS - Still no walking here yet either. Amelia can stand on her own, but when she realises she is, she immediately sits down or grabs hold of something. I tricked her into standing on her own last night though. Her latest word is "up" so while she was holding onto the couch I would say "arms up" and lift my arms above my head. Amelia copies me when she's sitting, but last night did it while standing. She keep her arms up for a good few seconds before holding onto the couch again. Her sleep is still lousy. I've started being more consistent with keeping her in bed with me when she wakes around 10pm. It's so hard though as she crawls & climbs all over us, tries to grab at anything on our bedside tables, pulls herself up to stand using the bed head, drops anything she can get her hands on on the floor. If I know she's tired, I have to hold her down. She cries and will stop if I let her go, but if she only struggles for a few seconds then I know she's ready for sleep and the crying is just her stress relief. There are plenty of times when I've fallen asleep first, but she manages to put herself to sleep eventually. I really want to have a room with nothing but a mattress on the floor and a few quiet toys. That way I can sleep while she does what she does until she falls asleep. But alas, we have way too much cr@p in our house.
Amelia is also down to 2 feeds a day, upon waking and before bed at night, but will have 1 or 2 (or 3) feeds overnight. Sometimes I have to feed her for afternoon sleep (although she'll sleep at care and for DH no probs), but then she doesn't have a proper night one and won't go to bed without it. I think she's also in the process of dropping down to 1 daytime nap. Some days she has 2 1.5 hour naps, others she'll have 1 2-3 hour nap. I think it can take a few months before they really settle down into having 1 nap.
Well, that was a longer post than I thought it would be. I'd better get some work done.
Oh, and as for TTC, we won't be before July. By then the fixed term on our mortgage is up and Mum's estate will be settled, so we'll know what we're doing re moving/building. Well that's provided I get AF back by then. Apart from 3 days of light bleeding 3 months ago, there's been nothing. I had started charting again, just to keep track, but gave up when it got to day 53 and I'd been having fertile symptoms on and off for over a month.
Hannah I had told Paul he needs to man up too I am sick of him being a scaredy cat. It makes me just as angry. My sister and her husband are both police officers so I have spoken to them and they said the police probably wouldn't do anything and how would we prove it. It would be something we would have to fight Vodafone over. I told the fiance last night he should be taking his anger out on her and not us and he said he isn't violent towards women so it is Paul that will cop it all. I am at my sisters or parents so I feel safe as why would the fiance want to hurt me. I really don't care if he finds Paul as long as Jett isn't with him.
I wish I could run away and has time alone but I can't poor little Jett needs me and I have to remain as strong as possible for him.
I think I forgot to tell you all that Jett finally got his first tooth on new years day so first tooth appeared on 1.1.11. How uncanny. His 2nd one cut yesterday so my little man is no longer a gummy bear. He is crusing the furniture and walking behind things he can stand up behind and push along however he doesn't walk behind the walker as it moves away to quickly for him. Yesterday he was using the Esky to walk around until he got stuck, very cute I have a little video that once my parents know whats happened I will upload onto FB.
Hannah July will be here before you know it and hopefully bub will be on board soon after for you.
Eva is walking! She has been doing it on and off since right before Xmas but now only wants to walk everywhere (makes for slow advancement but it is super cute)!
Just popping in quickly - am way behind on BB, so no time for proper persies.
But Lani - I'm thinking of you a lot.
And thank you everyone for your kind words about Dad. We're all still feeling like it's a bit of a dream. He was doing really well, then developed some complications suddenly. He was ready to go, and had everything organised, but it still feels like there's a hole in the world right now.
We've been having a bit of a nightmare with Liam lately, too. Don't really know why, but he's been fighting sleep badly at all naps and at night, and waking *screaming* multiple times a night. We're thinking separation anxiety right now. That, and transitioning to only one nap. Thankfully, today he's been pretty good with his nap - down easily for two hours or so. Now he's just running around being a holy terror Not fully walking all the time, but he's on the way to it.
Rose - good to see you popping in! It doesn't sound like Liam is giving you an easy time of it on top of everything. I can empathise - Matilda has just recently come out of a similar phase. I think they get a burst of separation anxiety around this age and it really plays havoc with their sleep because they wake up and wonder where mummy is. And then they're tired and grumpy and even more clingy during the day. Don't worry. It will pass!! Matilda was really dreadful for a couple of months but now she's sleeping well and playing on her own more than she ever has.
Beany - I'm so sorry to hear about your MIL. It must be so tough on you and your DH. But she is so lucky to have a daughter in law that cares about her as much as you do. I'm sure she feels blessed. And I'm sure the BF will be so much easier next time. Maybe it would be worth getting to know a lactation consultant ahead of time. I saw a really good one at the Hobart Private Hospital who made a huge difference. And get the midwives to help you has much as possible. I barely did a feed on my own in the first few days. They pretty much sat there and did it for me!!!
BS - Glad the stitches aren't worrying you too much. I feel a bit guilty that I don't feel as excited as you about this next baby. I'm sure it will come but it still feels weird to think of another person joining our little unit. I wouldn't worry about Eva being shy and getting bullied later on. Often its the more obnoxious kids that tend to make themselves targets for bullies. And they have so much growing and developing to do yet that its hard to know exactly how certain traits will come out later. Matilda was sooooo serious as a young baby. I used to joke she was born with a frown on her face. And now she's actually bubbly at times. So I think as they become more multi-layered different traits will come into play. Matilda is also slow to warm up to people but once she does she's all over them like a rash. Probably the trait I wonder most about is how strident she can be. I think I may have to coach her on communicating sensitively with people. I suspect she's going to have very strong opinions and not be backwards in expressing them. People are always telling me how emphatic she is about everything. And like I was saying to Rose, we have just been through a period of intense separation anxiety. I think its OK for them to get a bit upset when you're leaving if they're OK for the rest of the time you're away. It's just their way of expressing themselves.
Anyway, I should really get ready for bed. I'm sleeping terribly, even though Matilda is sleeping quite well. I'm waking up a lot and finding it difficult to get back to sleep. I should have mentioned it to my OB today. I met him for the first time today. I'm not sure what to think about him to be honest. But its a bit late to change. It's so hard to get into anyone in Sydney. Hope everyone is doing well. Sorry I didn't get to all the personals!
Firstly, yet again I'm not getting notifications, I hate BB for that, it happens to me ALL the time!
Lani - my beautiful friend my heart bleeds more and more for you, please remember to call if you need to talk - don't let what happened to me in the past make you feel bad about talking about it, chatting to someone who's been through it helps more than you think and I honestly don't mind, live and learn I say. I take it from your post that Paul is living elsewhere at present? When do your parents get back? I can't believe she's engaged, actually yes I can, our stories are the same I tell you! Keep strong, he will get his own back and you will get what you deserve, a happy, loving future with a prince charming. xx
BS - I'm really glad the little op went well, I saw a pic of you on FB just earlier and was looking for your belly but you're covering up hee hee - have you announced it yet? How exciting for you and I did chuckle as Amelia started walking a few days before Christmas as well!
Rose - I'm sorry again about your dad, I don't think you can ever be prepared can you, perhaps he wanted to go on a "high" note so to speak, on his terms which I guess in hindsight is the best way to go if you have to go, not when you're down and out. Does that make sense?
Beany - sorry about MIL, have they said how long she might have? That's just the pits isn't it. But as for your new car, wahoooooo - can't wait to see it, let's organise a catch up soon so we can have a squizy. Where are you off to for your holiday? Have fun wherever it may be! My work is doable but I'm getting a little annoyed by the girl who replaced me so to speak, she treats me like I'm her junior which is not how it's meant to be and takes advantage of me, not sure how long I'll last, will try and hold out till I'm pregnant again as the money is really good for what I do, but otherwise whatever happens I'm going to do what makes me happy. It's not the work (even though I'm finding it boring) it's more just in general the fact I've moved on from that part of my life, if I work I want to do something I really enjoy. I used to love my job but things changed in my head while I was on leave. Hope you're still enjoying yours.
Hi Tilda, Hi Hannah Everything seems to be going well with you all and your lovely girls.
AFM - Amelia is walking/running/you name it, she's all over the place ha ha - no rest for the wicked in my house anymore! I think she's teething again, she's had her hands in her mouth the last few days and did a couple of "teething poos" today, they always smell distinct those ones don't they and she's been whingey on and off....very clingy as well and had a few nights the last couple of weeks like Liam has Rose.......same as you, I think it's a combo of teething, just a stage (ie wonder week) and transitioning to 1 nap, when she sleeps well at night she goes down at 7pm and doesn't wake until 7.30 pm but then is harder to get down for her morning nap. I just try and go with the flow these days.
Anyway, Amelia has just gone to bed so I'm off to have a shower and get some dinner. work tomorrow, booooo.
xx
Oh Lani, I have not been on in ages, I am sorry not to have responded sooneR. Are you doing a bit better now? I have been in your situation before albeit without a child, which makes it worse...but it will get better, and you and Jett will be ok no matter what you decide to do in the end. Just focus on yorself and Jett and staying rested and away from drama. I am here as well, so send me a FB message or a PM if you ever feel the need.
Rose, Eva has been sleeping really badly too. I think she is teething but since she started trying to walk she has been having nightmares or something, whimpering in her sleep, and just being agitated at night in general? She goes down fine but does not stay down...This stuff goes in phases doesn't it. It is exhausting. Maybe he also feels the stress with your dad's passing? He is very connected to you and can probably feel that you are sad...I hope it all smooths out soon.
Tilda, Eva warms up to people slowly to but she never gets clingy or anything with anyone other than me, DH and MIL or her uncles...She really has to know people to want to go into their arms...I know she is fine. And no matter what she is perfect the way she is. I was just always pretty solid as far as that stuff goes, like I was different but it never bothered me too much, so I just hope she is not overly sensitive (DH was more of a sensitive child)...I think it is just a protective thing - and I know she will be ok...I just wonder sometimes since I have nothing to compare to. Don't feel bad about not being excited. I know you stress about your back and all that too...I admit I am stressed because of Eva's reflux and my hormonal issues, and sometimes I say to myself, is it possible to function on less sleep than now? But then again I am so happy to be doing this back to back and then get on with life. I like being pregnant, but this pregnancy is not sitting as well with me as Eva's did...I am not sure if it is winter or the fact that I got sick twice or the fact that I am running after one already...but in the long run, I look at it as a challenging first year or two after the baby is born but much nicer later. I think it is hard to imaginbe another one too. I can't imagine another baby in my life - DH and I are so full of love for Eva that I can't see taking an ounce of it away, but I know that your heart gets bigger with the next...I've had plently of mothers confirm it already I think in any case it is a stressful thing to worry about the next and you will def get more excited when you start feeling kicks (I just started feeling flutters this week!!!! and I can tell you, it makes it all the more exciting)...I keep saying that Eva still is not out of her teething and next year I will have two waking each other up, but I don't care, I prefer to have the baby period flow, then enjoy bigger children (unless we go for a third!..lol) and getting my body and career back on track slowly... Will you have to do a CS? is it because of your back?
As for help after baby 2 - after giving birth (luckily in the summer this time) I plan to go spend the whole summer in the mountains with the ILs and DH's famlily and anyone from my family or friends that wants to visit. I'll take it easy and Eva will enjoy the nature and the pool and the yard and sunlight and fresh air - heaven! etc...I had her in in a month of snowstorms so going out for a walk was nearly impossible and being cooped up killed me! Then I will be coming back and Eva will go back to daycare in September and baby #2 will prob go in around 5/6 months, like I did with Eva...I found the daycare experince great for her (and for me - even a few hours a day to myself makes a huge difference in my productivity), even though she was often sick, but I like the rythm and the socializing etc...So around november I guess, I will be puitting #2 in the same daycare as Eva...Then getting back into work, prob part time for a while since babies get sick a lot at first, when starting DC for #2.
As for help with the cleaning, I have always had it, and will keep that - there is no way for me to deal with baby/job and have clean house (I do not like to clean but I do when I have to because I am obsessed with clean house). Our apt is pretty big and I hate mess, so it gets me angry when it is not in order, so for my sanity and DH's I have a housekeeper for the past few years...one of my little luxuries...Except I handle everything baby related (laundry, dishes, and cleaning - I'm crazy as far as that goes)...I don't necessarily like the idea of a nanny in my home or someone taking care of my children in my home, I prefer them to go out and have people take care of them and that home stay for their family...It is a wierd thing that irks me but I am not sure why...New Yorkers get nannies and I have heard too many stories about the mothers who work a lot having their kids prefer their nanny. I don't want any mommy confusion in my house. I am a control freak This of course is my opnion on things but I think every family has a different solution that works for them and their children.
Hey Alison, I am not necessarily hiding it but am not putting it on facebook I did not post anything on FB with Eva until she was born...I have a lot of acquaintances on there that I don't mind not telling for now. So no mention on FB but we have announced to everyone, and honey, if you see my belly, it is obvious. There is a round lump front and center that does not look like a big lunch It is funny your pap smears are every two years in Europe and the US it is every 6 months! I don't find it pleasant but it never bothered me that much since I used to go do them twice a year, or so...I would hate to have one done too often...I thought twice a year was little and you guys only have them every 2 years, now that makes me hate them more since I get them more often
Beany, Eva has small fits too, but nothing too crazy. She seems to want to talk and gets frustrated when I don't understand. She gibbers to me all day and has really expanded her rertoire of sounds, and ads words to her vocabulary daily - she does not pronounce things super well yet, but I understand her...she has learned gato (gateau in french is cookie or cake - of course she learned that! - but she says is more like catoo...it is super cute. You should try putting fun toys on the table and seeing if michael will walk over to stuff from you - keep making the distance longer. DH and I practice with Eva every night, going further and further apart. She still walks like a drunk person, so we are encouraging her to walk between us. She walks on her own and wants us to walk with her all over the place holding her by the hand, but when she ventures out on her own she falls at some point. She is def not running around like Amelia yet As for MIL, I am so sorry. I don't get what is going on with SIL, have you guys sat her down for a talk? Maybe Dh should have a serious talk with her, since it is their mother. She might not have much time and SIL might be in denial or something, so maybe he should bring her back down to earth...
AF Us, Eva seems to be teething again - her sleep is awful and I got a call from DC to come pick her up so it is looking like a nother week at home sick for us...I'll keep you guys posted - she's up so have to go!
ARGH I haven't been getting notifications. What is going on??? I have missed heaps.
My parents returned on Tuesday night and are still in shock my mum is very upset and my dad hasn't said anything he is very silent which is very unusual for my dad.
This weekend I am planning to move all of Jett's furniture and alot more of my clothes to my parents house. I am planning to stay there for a while. I am still very emotional and a part of me still doesn't believe it I don't think. I am trying to get into a Psychologist, who is currently on leave and returns next week.
Beany thinking of you and MIL, I hope things improve for her. Big hugs xoxox
Thanks for all your support girls, it means alot to me.
Since all of this has happened Jett's sleeping had made a turn for the worse, we were going great and now I am really struggling to get him down for a sleep. Once I get him down he sleeps well, we are getting a wake up during the night though. By the sounds of it a few of us are having sleep issues so it could be an age thing. I hope so.
I have Jett's appointment with the Professor this afternoon for his allergies, to see if anything has changed.
Lani sweets - my heart breaks for you, I still can't believe a husband/father of your child could do such a thing at this point in your marriage. I hope it's ok to say but I hate him for doing this to you. Your dad would be feeling so mad, that's why he's quiet, some men, especially that generation struggle to show emotion, but the fact he's quiet shows how angry he must be. My mum wanted to kill my ex when he did the same, she literally wanted to at one point, I have to admit I was willing to join her. There is no consolation in any of this at present but as time passes the hurt will lessen and he will get his own back, I promise you - it took 7 years for me to get mine with my ex and his skank divorcing (oh guess what, she cheated on him) and he's now a 39 year old loney guy. Apparently when he heard I was pregnant he was quite sombre, well GOOD!!!!!!!!! Ahole deserves to be miserable his whole life if you ask me! Definitely see someone, I had counselling and even did a 6 week program once a week for people who had suffered a relationship loss, I thought it was silly a 30 year old turning up for something like that when I wasn't even married but there were all types there, men and women, married and unmarried, with kids and no kids and it really helped me a lot. I've been thinking of you a lot and please know that I'm here if you need to talk as I've said all along. Don't worry about Jett's sleeping, it's just a phase and he might be sensing some of your hurt and disruption, they bounce back quickly so he will be fine again soon. He's very lucky to have you. So is Paul trying his hardest to win you back? I'm really proud of you for being so strong, most would cave and go back and if that's what you want then you do it, you may find as time goes on you are able to forgive him and move on, some it helps change for the better, some it just doesn't work. I personally am like you and feel without trust there is no relationship. But don't close the door completely yet, you just never know.
Love you lots and hoping things get much easier for you very soon.
Babies born ~ December 1st-15th 2009 #5
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with Eva.
Carmey and sesame. Have I forgotten anyone?
Not fully walking all the time, but he's on the way to it.
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