I had a really bad day yesterday Rosey. Hopefully it was just a day of the blues. I am really happy with DS and how things are going with him but really sad where DH and I currently are. He has always had a communication problem and right now I can't be bothered trying to improve things. He has rekindled a relationship with an old mate who admittedly I have never met but I have heard enough about him to not want to. A lot more has happened with his family since Christmas and I feel like walking. I'm so upset that this has happened now when it should be such a beautiful time in our lives. I can't even talk to him about it as he just clams up and starts criticizing my family or something not so perfect I have done. On top of this 2 of my older girls have been awful. Fighting almost constantly. I think eldest DD has used my credit card to although I have not said anything yet until I have my statement for proof. Plus I am over her violent outbursts ad slamming doors, abusing anyone and everyone. She has had behavioural problems for a long time but recently we have seen a really positive change but since school has finished for the year things have gone down hill and I am not handling it as well as usual.

Anyway as for how to settle DS when he wakes he usually looses it completely until he gets the boob. There is not much warning just straight into screaming. I am still having trouble latching him as he doesn't open his mouth very wide and my nipples are quiet large so he often will munch down only half on which kills. My nipples are bruised and one is blistered and now my milk is in (it came in super early under 48hours) is harder to get him on as they are hard too. He feeds exceptionally well when I get him on. He will feed for 20-30mins then have some awake time usually but not always and then go back on the boob for another20-30mins and then sleep. Sometimes I can get him off whilst he is still awake and sleepy and snuggle him to sleep but so far he hasn't put himself to sleep. DH and been able to resettle him if his stirring but not actually settle him straight from the breast. Its hard when during the day you can nurse and feed but of a night you would like to feed and place back in their sleep space. We have been putting DS in his cot (right next to our bed) for his first sleep of the night and he stays there until he wakes. That was 1230 last night but then remains in our bed until morning. Partly this is my fault as I am so incredibly tired. I think I could settled him again I just need to wake myself up to do it. I have not had my Hb repeated but I am sure I am anemic. I am so pale and still feels weak and breathless.

There is a good ap we recommend called RockAbubApp Rosey. I am about to buy it myself.