AliMoy - I hope the nappy rash has decided to go away! I too have some sudocream and pop it on Amelia whenever I think she is looking a little red down there.....not sure if she actually has a rash or not, but I figure it can't hurt either way...
Juniper - Sorry to hear about the slow weight gain. I have brought a pump (a tommee tippee one as I was told their bottles were good as they are closest in shape to BB's, making it more likely bubs will be happy with them) and started using it a couple of days ago. I got it mainly so that DH can feed Amelia occasionally so I can have a break and he can have that special time with her too. Try not to worry about the weight thing too much (although I know that's hard as I have been stressed about it myself). I've been taking Amelia to be weighed a couple of times a week as I have been so stressed about it. I was told by a friend our local chemist (a national pharmacy) has scales you can weigh babies on if you don't want to go to the hospital to do it....
S'Rose - Wow! Oscar seems as if he is gaining weight really well!
AFM - The doc appointment went ok. He wasn't too fussed as Amelia is still putting on weight (around 25g a day at the moment). He did suggest that if the vomiting continued maybe we could try infant gaviscon, which apparently thickens the milk in their stomach a bit. Luckily for us the vomiting has decreased over the past few days. DH had done a bit of 'research' on the internet and reckons that Amelia has a bit of 'silent reflux' (nothing like self diagnosis ). Apparently it means that stomach acid and stuff comes up and down a bit. When this had been happening we had incorrectly assumed she needed to burp, and the patting her back had been making her spew. We have been trying to follow the 'tips' for silent reflux (sitting them upright and offering a dummy after it appears to have gone away to help neutralise the acid) and it seems to be working really well, so even if that is not it the tactics seem to be helping!
Well DH goes back to work on Monday.....I think I will be ok with looking after Amelia but I'm not sure that I will manage to get anything 'done' around the house. Don't get me wrong, DH doesn't expect it (that's been a good thing about him being home the past couple of weeks, he has seen how much time Amelia is demanding), but it's more me wanting to keep things tidy and 'up-to-date'. I guess I will just have to try to modify my own expectations or I will burn myself out!
... okay just really quickly - i have a small window where both boys are actually asleep! i wonder if i can actually eat lucnh with two hands or (shock horror) drink a whole, hot cuppa tea!
Lewis' nappy rash is all cleared up - turns out it was a bit of thrush, so lots of open air time and some anti-fungle cream did the trick super-fast.
interestingly though, we didn't get a bounty bag this time - the hospital i went to are very pro-natural and anti chemicals etc so they asked the companies to stop sending them samples 'coz they wouldn't hand them out or promote them at the hospital lol... one of the midwives did mention though that "sudo cream was the only good thing in there"!
anyway i just wanted to quickly pop in and see if anyone else has a tummy-sleeper?
it's just Lewis' comfy position, he sleeps so well on his tummy, up until now i've been reluctant to put him on his tummy at night, but since we're 100% BF and co-sleeeping, SIDS risks are minimal... so i'm thinking about putting him on his tummy tonight - anyone have any thoughts/experience? i'm just nervous 'coz all the mainstream stuff essentially stops just short of telling you that sleeping on the tummy is going to kill your baby... i'd obviously like to keep him for a while yet and instincts and nature seem to be telling me that that's what he wants to do... especially since he's a bit of a windy baby so being on his front obviously helps with that.
DH went back to work this week and it's friday and we all seem to have survived with most of our marbles... but there will be wine tonight.
Edward is constantly surprising me with how he is taking it all in his stride, with only a few challenging moments. We've kept very busy this week though and only really had one day at home - just seems much easier if we're out and have things to do!
Actually i did cheat one day, my mum took Edward for a sleepover and so i got to spend a whole day with just me and Lewis looking at each other and getting to know one another - fallin' in love and stuff... it was really nice to have that 1:1 time where i could sit down for a whole bf and carry him everywhere without feeling like i was constantly putting him down to look after Eddie (or constantly telling Eddie that i needed to look after Lewis)...
oh that was the other thing had a middie visit last week - weighed Lewis just outta interest - he's put on a kilo since birth (that was a week ago when he was 2weeks old and he's definitely fattened up since then too!)... haha crazy kid.
Having said that i seriously urge you all not to worry too much about statistics (i'm sure there'd be some 'experts' out there who would say i'm feeding Lewis too much or some rubbish like that, i feed him when he wants it - you can't force a baby to suck!).... you know if you're babies are healthy so the idea of putting on 'too much' weight or 'not enough' weight really should bare little relevance to what you're doing as long as it's working.
Okay, longer than i thought - boys still asleep... spoke too soon, Lewis is awake... back to the nappies and boobies
Hi all - I am so sorry for not being able to get here earlier to say hi and catch up on what's been going on, time to get anywhere near a computer is seriously limited by a newborn! DH is attempting to settle Arabella which gives me a couple of minutes to see what's been going on with all these new mums and babies Unfortunately I don't have time for personals but I am so glad to see all these healthy babies, and that they're all feeding and stacking on the weight! I hope to get back on here more regularly, and if I could figure out how to use Tapatalk properly on my iPhone I could even do updates whilst feeding!
Arabella is almost 5 weeks old and is doing so very well. We had some problems with feeding - she couldn't latch on, so I was using a nipple shield and supplementing with formula as she wasn't getting much milk via the shield. It was just awful to have to mix up the stinky formula and feed it to her - I'd often be feeding her a bottle and sobbing as I did it - but we had to do what we had to do, and I'm thrilled to say that we've now been feeding without the nipple shield for a whole day now, and haven't used any formula since last Wednesday - so nearly a week. Finally it's working! She is getting on and feeding without any help from anything - it's just me and her and it's beautiful. I do get a bit teary now when I feed, not for the same reasons that I cried when I was formula feeding, but because I am so relieved that I can breastfeed and that Arabella is healthy and chubby and churning through those nappies. Seriously, this kid is a poop machine!
Unfortunately she's not too keen on the sleeping business! For a few days there she wouldn't sleep at all during the day, but we've now realised that she actually was getting tired but moved very quickly to overtired and thus wouldn't settle. We're now trying to get her to sleep between feeds; sometimes she will, sometimes she won't. She was sleeping 7 or 8 hours of a night-time which was amazing, but that lasted about a week-and-a-half and she's now waking once during the night for a feed (which is still pretty good!). However, she won't settle after the night feed - and Arabella's way of letting us know is to cry and cry and cry! She'll also cry for hours of an evening (I think it's the dreaded arsenic hour - it really does exist) which is just heartbreaking. And I can't seem to settle her as I smell like milk. Do any of you have any hints for settling in the evenings? We walk a lot up and down the hallway, bounce on the fitball whilst patting her bottom, walk in the pram (yeah, walking a screaming baby is heaps of fun!), feeding more often, try her in the sling, a bath either in the baby bath or in with me... And she will cry her way through all of these until she's worn herself out. DH struggles with it more than I do - he just wants to fix it, but there's nothing actually wrong - but if any of you have other ideas I am keen to hear them!
Hope you are all doing well, I will hopefully be able to log in more often to catch up on everyone's news and milestones as Arabella gets a bit older and into more of a predictable pattern (wishful thinking on my part???)
Hey allejane!
Well done on the feeding that's awesome!!! Stick with it, it gets easier and easier as you both adjust and soon bfing will be a complete non-issue! Fantastic news that you're managing without the shield and formula!!!!
Eep about the aresnic hour. You need to find your magic 'thing', again it'll get easier as she gets more interested in looking at things etc... My magic trick that has worked for both my boys is to take their clothes off! I have a couple of nudists! A bit of nudey time (outside if it's warm enough) just seems to work when nothing else does!
With Eddie boobie was my fix-all but Lewis only likes to feed if he's genuinely hungry so I'm finding it tough adjusting to having to find other things that keep him happy or give me some time to write an email, make a phone call etc
Taking them outside worked for us too normally, looking at trees.
Or cranky up some music and dancing around with them in my arms... Sometimes I wonder if some of these 'techniques' had more to do with cAlming me down which then calms them down, but if it works who cares!!
Will lets you know if I think of anything else... But Lewis is back asleep on me so we're going back to bed!
Oh and OMG I'm jealous of your sleeping!!!!!!!!!! Nice work!
Ugh, I think AF started today. Anyone else have any signs of AF yet? At least (if it is indeed AF) it seems to be pain-free so far. I only had 2 AFs after my lap and I hadn't had any improvement in the pain so I was dreading the first PPAF.
Hi all - I've managed to make it to my computer, and this time, I have a baby strapped to me! Thanks to S'Rose I've been able to finally work out the sling (I had sort-of worked it out but I didn't feel at all confident in using it - too worried DD would pop out or start getting upset, and she obviously felt this from me as she would usually cry when in the sling!) and I have been able to wear DD for much of the afternoon where she has peacefully slept. I think we have found our magic cure for arsenic hour and I couldn't be happier! We ended up going to see a doctor about the crying and sleeplessness, it turns out that DD suffers pretty badly with wind pains (thanks again S'Rose for your detective work with that!) and suspected silent reflux. Our GP got her onto Losec and she's been on that for just over a week - after yesterday's dose, she vomited and by this morning she was a screaming mess, so we know that the Losec is working. We're also using Infacol with great success, I am really enjoying those massive man-burps DD is ripping out after a feed!
We saw the MCHN last week, and DD has put on just over a kilo in 5 weeks which we're really happy with - she's now just over 5.5kg and my arms are getting so buff hefting her around! She has started to smile as well which is pretty special, I got a smile yesterday (or was it the day before??? The days just roll into each other!) and DH got his first smile tonight. It's pretty special because you know she's doing it on purpose
AliMoy - I got a good laugh out of your nudist fix-all! I had no idea that taking off clothes made babies happy - DD tends to cry a bit during nappy-free time but I think that was because she was on her back, and we now know that the reflux is worst when she's lying flat. Great ideas though, I tried the music/dancing option the other day (none of that baby-music crap, I put on the stuff that I like and sang loudly, too) and although it didn't calm her that much, I felt really good afterwards.
Juniper - eek, I hadn't even thought about AF. I assumed that I wouldn't be seeing AF for a few months yet because of the breastfeeding, but I do know that she can make her re-appearance even if you're breastfeeding... I hope it's not too awful, it's amazing how quickly we adjust to not having to deal with AF each month! I wonder if it will be much different now that we're mothers???
Hope everyone else is doing well and that your babies are keeping you entertained!
Okay, I must apologise for the false alarm. Apparently there's this thing called the 6-week bleed. Who knew? Anyway, no sign of bleeding this morning, so hopefully that's what it was?
But the good news ends there. I spoke to the paediatrician this afternoon and he made me feel like a complete failure. Amber still hasn't regained her birth weight. We have been supplementing with formula for over a week now and her weight gain last week was less than the week before. He has basically ordered me to give her more formula and I'm starting to think we won't even get to 3 months with the BF (which I had wanted to do for at least 12 months). After needing IVF to conceive her and a c/s to deliver her, I now need formula to feed her. I couldn't do any of it on my own.
allejane, I'm glad to hear you've got the sling worked out and that it's helping so much! Also great news on the Losec working and Arabella's weight gain too!
Hi girls,
I have been keeping up with your thread and thought I might drop in and see how everyone is doing! I miss you all!! I think I might need to have two baby buddy threads this time, lol!
We are going well. Caelan is a little buddah and is just getting more and more adorable by the day! He's started laughing a little and it's just the cutest sound I have ever heard! He's been smiling for ages, but I just can't quite catch a photo of him, not for lack of trying though! He's cooing and babbling and loves to be sung (sang??) to. I'm sooo in love! Though a little more sleep would be lovely! He will have one four hour stretch first up of a night, usually about 7-11ish, and then he might have 3hrs, and then it's 2hrly wake ups, sometimes hourly, and sometimes, usually at around 3-4am, we have a big grizzly fart session, where I am usually awake for an hour or two with him, lol! He usually sleeps fairly well through the day, with at least one 2ish hour sleep, sometimes two if the kids are quiet (which is rare these days!) but usually a few cat naps of abotu 45mins in there too.
I am going well (considering the lack of sleep I get, lol!) Still anaemic, though that will last a little while yet I would say. I am trying to eat well adn need to start diong some exercise, or I will never lose this weight!
Hi everyone! DH has taken DD for an hour so I can get some time on my own, and thought I'd pop in to say hello and see what's been happening. Can you believe we have two-month-old babies now? We had DD's vaccinations earlier this week and I was thinking back to when the midwives in the hospital were telling me that the first lot were at two months... I was thinking 'that is so long away' yet here we are now!
Juniper - glad to see it was just lochia and not AF! My MCHN said that the bleeding can be a bit on-and-off in the last few days and not to freak out if I suddenly started bleeding again - but if it went on for longer than a day, or if there were any clots, to go back to my GP. I hope all ended up okay for you there. How are you going with Amber's feeds? It is a truly awful feeling to have to supplement, especially if you're already doing everything you can to get your baby back on track. And to come away from an appointment with a specialist feeling like you've failed is horrid - I really feel for you. I do hope that things have improved, if it's due to supply issues I had massive (in every sense of the word) success with lactation cookies, the recipe is online and probably in the breastfeeding thread if you need it.
Lilias - I'm so glad to see things going well for you! Don't you just love the smiles and the noises that come out of them? I hope you're managing to get a little more sleep, it looks like a bit of sleep when you add up all the hours across a 24-hour period but when it's broken up like yours is, it's really hard to feel rested.
AFM - things have been pretty hard, but we're hopefully going to get some answers soon. DD is such an unsettled little thing - she sleeps well at night, from 10pm - 3am, up for a feed, then sleep 4am - 8am, but she does not sleep during the day. At all. Ever. If she happens to fall asleep after a feed, I will try and put her down and as soon as she realises she's not in my arms anymore, she's awake again and howling. I have a Moby wrap and an Ergo that I put her in during the day which she will sometimes sleep in, but generally she will be awake and cranky from 8am til 10pm. She has been on Losec for reflux for three-and-a-half weeks now which was working really well for a while, but doesn't seem to be having the same effect any more (we had a horrid screamy day on Sunday which ended up with us taking her to Emergency, just to make sure there was nothing other than reflux/colic going on - nope, she's perfectly healthy). On the upside, I found out about a clinic at the Royal Children's Hospital called the 'Unsettled Babies Clinic' (what a great name for it!) and my GP has referred us to that clinic. I'm just waiting on a call back from them to make an appointment. It looks really good - paediatricians, gastro-enterologists, allergists and psychologists on hand, ready to help us find out why DD is so unsettled and difficult.
On a more positive note, we had her weighed and measured yesterday and she's put on a kilo in 3 weeks! Plus 2cm in both length and head circumference. She's now 6.67kg which explains why I've hurt my shoulder and why Mum has hurt her arm hefting this baby around. She's totally off the charts but is healthy and developing beautifully - when she's in a good mood, she's all smiles and laughs, which is just gorgeous.
I've got my first Mother's Group meeting next week and I can't wait! Are any of you involved with a Mother's Group at all? S'Rose was, I recall...
Awww, big hugs Alle. You know your bit about how Arrabella is is exactly how Lily was when she was tiny. I used to sit on the lounge for hours if she went to sleep on me because it was such a rare occurance that I would do anything to keep her asleep. She was so usettled all the time, though she often didn't sleep alot at night either. She was like that until she as about 6ish mths old. Thank goodness she got a bit better, because I fell pg with DS1 not long after that. But it is definately why I felt so down when I had her, I think I had PND as well as with DS1 too, though was never formally diagnosed. But how I feel now with Caelan is so tatally differnt to when I had them. I really enjoy him, where with them, everything was such a struggle I was a total mess emotionally.
I hope the clinic can help you find some strategies to help you both. I know how horrible it can be to have a screaming baby all day!
Heya - quickie - got one asleep (Lewis) and one running around naked in the garden (doesn't he know it's cold?!?!)
Allejane: was reading you're post and thought of a few 'other' things that i've tried with varying degrees of success and failure - all worth a try, quite often there's actually nothing wrong with unsettled babies, you just need to find what you're magic *thing* is... ofcourse it's important to investigate further too incase there is something wrong - but since you're doing that already - here are some possible 'magic things' to amuse you with in the mean time...
Feng Sui - in a moment of desperation i feng sui'd the house when i was having trouble with Eddie - concentrating mainly on his bedroom and our bedroom... you can find lots of tips on the internet, things like removing all fierce-creature toys (bears, lions, dragons etc), having the bed's head against a wall and something solid at the foot, making sure there's nothing under then bed, a bowl of salt on the window seal to attract negative energy and send it on it's way etc. Sometimes i think it helped, sometimes i think it's a load of rubbish, but regardless i ended up with a very calm-feeling environment, and it's always quite cleansing to rearrange and clear out stuff.
White Noise - i'd heard of people using this before, but the other day i was vacuuming and Lewis zonked out instantly... I've never had much success with him having daytime sleeps either, same deal as you - as soon as i put him down he wakes up, so i downloaded some white noise yesterday and put it on the ipod - this is his second big sleep today!
Sleeping on tummy - it keeps the pressure on the same part as if you were hugging her, often more comfy for babes with reflux... Lewis is a tummy sleeper.
Chiropractor - i took Eddie, didn't work for us, but i know a few people who swear it's been their saviour - apparently can often help with babies born by c-sec if their spine was misaligned or something when they were born...
that's all i've got at the moment - will keep thinking and let you know if i come with more 'magic things' to try!
it's amazing how exhausting sitting on the couch with a baby can be though, all you want is to be hands-free for an hour so you can get some stuff done and feel like a real person again... huge hugs, it can be hard. I hope DH is understanding and giving you lots of support - that can really make the world of difference. xx
Thank you Lilias and Alimoy for all your help and advice - very much appreciated! We haven't found the 'magic thing', but as Arabella is getting older and more able to handle life outside the womb, she's becoming more settled and easily placated. Oh, and cuter We really noticed a difference at about 10 weeks, she was able to be settled to sleep during the day (for one sleep cycle only - the next hour is spent getting up/replace dummy/pat tummy or head/wait five minutes and repeat) and she's crying a lot less too. I am starting to feel more human and less awkward about being 'that woman with the screaming baby'!
We did get into the clinic last week, and they were able to rule out any serious issues causing Arabella's unsettled behaviour which was great - she is definitely suffering reflux but the Losec is helping with that. It was suggested that we put some sleeptime rituals into place to get Arabella ready for sleeping, so we're now doing some simple steps before naptime or bedtime (feed, play, zip into Wrap Me Up at the first sign of tiredness, read a story, cuddle, put into bed with dummy, rub tummy or head until her eyes are droopy, and run for it so she falls asleep on her own) which works pretty quickly most of the time. They encouraged 'controlled comforting' (call it what you will, I will not leave my daughter to cry!) so we have modified their plan to not have any crying without comforting from mum or dad. If she starts to cry it only takes seconds to go from 'oh, I'm awake and confused' to 'get me out of here!' so we are getting onto it pretty quickly. And as I'm typing, she's been asleep for just over an hour now with no sign of waking
Alimoy - where did you download the white noise from? I found a couple of recordings on YouTube which did a great job of sending me off to sleep, but not Arabella unfortunately! I had the same experience with the vacuum cleaner, I had Arabella in the Ergo whilst I cleaned the floors and she was out like a light!
Hope you are all doing well and enjoying your babies - it really does appear to be true that babies become more settled at the three-month mark, which I am eternally relieved about!
allejane, great progress on the sleeps! We're really struggling with the daytime sleeps - they just don't exist in our house... Night-time she sleeps fantastically though! Do you have an iPhone? I downloaded a white noise app for that (NoiseBox). I find it helps lengthen her daytime naps when I succeed in getting her to sleep. First time I used it was when she had woken after only 5 mins. I turned on the white noise app and she slept an hour.
Well, I thought I might reply to all of your wonderful responses on FB here. I'd like to kinda debrief a little too I think, so doing it here is easier than writing an epic reply on FB! Mind you this could be an epic post Here goes......
Where to start then? I guess I will say that I am feeling a bit better today. I have been struggling for a few weeks. I can tell because my house ends up like a bomb has hit it. And when people say don't worry, just leave it, well...there is a point you have to worry. The is a stage in time when the dishes in the sink are unhygenic, when DD has no undies and DS needs clean pants to wear. I need space on my kitchen bench to prepare food, pots to cook in.....yada yada! So it's fair enough to say don't worry and for me not to worry, but eventually, someone has to worry about it, and being the SAHM it's usually me. While DH is a great help when he can, he works. But he also doesn't see the mess like I do. He doesn't care so much (which is great in one way, and torture in others!) He will do what I ask, but often with a sigh like he's thinking 'why should I do it, and not you who stays at home all day?' And he's a 'gunna', he's always 'gunna' do stuff. He's just had 2 days off (today being the 2nd) and this break he was gunna clean out the atrocious spare room, do a bit of gardening and mow the lawns. He's done nothing and what's the bet that at the end of the day, I have mown the lawns (plus everything else I will do) and nothing else has been done that he said. He will help with the kids and maybe do some other things like hang a load of washing, but not what he ways he wants to do, which I also would love to get done too! But other than DH, we have noone out here. I have no family and not really any friends I can really rely on. The other day when I posted was a particularly atrocious day and if I had a friend or family I could have called I would have, but I had noone, not even DH that day, he was a 2hr drive away.
We can't afford any more help than the kids going to childcare one day a week. I wish we could get a cleaner! And a gardener for that matter!! S/he could do all those crappy jobs I hate, like ironing, I don't iron unless there's a special occaision! Though I love ironed clothes...oh the conundrum! Or cleaning the shower cubicles. Plus our yard is huge! Having come from Sydney in a 2 bedroom apartment, to the outback in a huge 5 bedroom house, on over half an acre of land....well, I love to garden, but it's a little too much to handle at the moment! Part of the issue with my depression is that I am a bit of a clean freak. But I won't do stuff unless I can do it properly. I won't do a job if it's half arsed, so because I don't get enough time to do things how I really want them done, alot of the time I don't do it! Silly because a job half done is better than a job not done at all, but hey... I really am trying to see it that way!
As for Caelan having reflux, I have started him on gavascon after feeds. Only been doing it for 2 days though, so no real noticable change at all yet. Not sure if it will do anything anyway. I really took notice of what he does on Wednesday (when the big kids are at day care and I can breathe a little!) and he was throwing up, just little bits though, and it's watery, not really milky looking vomit at all. It's also a fair while after a feed. Adn through the night he also pulls his legs up and yelps out like he's in pain. I don't know if that's pain from reflux or wind. He's still very windy and farts alot. He also bury's his head into my boobs when he feeds sometimes. I always think he's going to suffocate himself, lol! And pulls on and off a bit, I have to force his head on sometimes so he's nt on and off and hurting me. Last night I didn't feed him every time he woke (2hrly) like I usually do, I just stuck his dummy in and patted him a little, which worked! I fed him every second time he woke. Maybe it will encourage him to not wake so frequently if he's not getting feeds so often?? Who knows! I also inclined his snuggle bed on a pillow, I don't know if it will help or not...had cut out dairy, and chocolate as well as spicey foods and caffinated tea and coffee (as well as having too much tea and coffee, only one each pe...r day now!) from my diet, though the last few weeks I have been eating it all again because of pressure from (well-meaning) friends, and just comfort eating too. Maybe that's the issue for Caelan now, why he's gotten worse, that I'm having dairy, coffee and chocolate again. I will cut it all out again and see how we go.
Yes, I am only one person, but people do this all the time. And some alone, or in terrible circumstances. I am lucky. I am healthy, with a healthy family. A home, food, clothes, money to spare (if only a little!). We have enough, and more. Rationally I know all of that,and it makes me feel even more guilty that I am so lucky, but feel so ****ty. People would kill to have my lifestyle, to have health, wealth, home, clothes, family. But the horrible thing about depression is that it magnifies the tough times. It makes the hard bits of life seem so huge and insurmountable. The sleep deprivation is what really triggers my depression. When I'm not sleeping because of the kids, then I find it hard to sleep at all. Caelan wakes 2 hourly, sometimes, I haven't gone back to sleep in that time because my mind is racing, or I don't see the point, especially at 5am and the other kids will wake at 6. Why bother trying to get comfy and sleep....But then I feel terrible in myself, tired, irritable, just the ***** from hell. My brain no longer works, literally. I get lost for words, I can't think straight, I don't remember what I was doing two minutes ago, what I was thinking I need to write down so I don't forget it. And it all just goes to s#@t. I find it so hard not to dwell on the fact I have been living on 5 hours (if that!) broken sleep for months. If I got sleep, I could handle the rest of it. I am a person who needs sleep. Really, not just saying it! I just can't cope without about 7-8hours good sleep a night. I have always been the same. And here I am blessed with three of the most gorgeous non sleeping children a mother could have.
I think alot of my issues also stem from not having adult company except for DH most of the time. Literally. Some weeks he's the only adult I will see for days on end, and if I do see others, it's the shop attendant, or the doctor, not a friend who I can actually have a conversation with. I don't have friends who just drop by. I don't go out anywhere like the club or even just for coffee to catch up I don't have hobbies or anything I do for me, besides the odd bath alone... I try sometimes plan to have coffee and morning tea dates with kids and all, but there's only one SAHM here and she has school aged kids as well, which she does stuff for like canteen duty and reading and things like that, the others work too, so it can be hard to organise. I should go to play group and reading time at the library. I always think I will, then in the morning I forget it's on until after the fact. I need to find a better way to remind myself than writing it on the fridge white board.
I went and had a haircut yesterday and come home, so much more like my old self. I could laugh again. I was playing. God I feel so sad and teary now thinking that, realising that. I just don't have fun. I laugh with the kids, I see that they're fun and funny. I make myself play with them, I make myself laugh with DH. But really I can't remember when I last really had fun. Unthinking unadulterated fun. In one way I just can't wait til Caelan finishes breast feeding so I can leave him for a day or two and go and have fun with friends and DH. But then I also don't want him to because he's our last, he will be the last one I breastfeed, the last one to snuggle with me and feed at night and sigh with satisfaction when he's done, with that tiny milky grin on his sleepy little face. Where will I be then?? Gosh, I will be lost. Not mummy to babies anymore. Who will I be then? I have no idea who I am now, let alone then!
Urgh! It's all too hard. I can't think of that right now. My brain is going a million miles an hour. Thanks for reading if you got this far. Thanks for all of your kind wordsand advice. I do appreciate it all. xxoo
Hello ladies, sorry to crash your thread, Miss molly was born 29/12/11 and my DS was born at the same time as Lillias DS1. Hope you are all enjoying your bubs!
Oh Kel: i know im going to remember things and have to come back a few times..... Whats a $hit cycle you are in, yes you are healthy, have happy kids, a nice house yadda yadda yadda, doesnt mean jack when you arent feeling right within yourself! Mollys just woken so will come back later! know your not alone!
Crashing too, Kel, I'm so glad you got all that out! Your poor brain Sleep deprivation is so awful and it sounds like it's just beaten all the joy out of you It's hard when what you know to be true and what feels true doesn't quite add up, and then you feel guilty for not being happy and that makes you more unhappy cos you put even MORE pressure on yourself and yuck, it's just a bit messy cycle. I know I find it hard to live in my own head when I feel like that (if you get what I mean!)
Ok Kell you know i harp on about it but ill say it again, You need some exercise in your life. If the house is already a mess and C likes his cuddles then strap on that HAB and get outside! Leave the mess and your troubles behind. I know my mental healthy improves extremely when i get some exercise. Also yes you should cut all that stuff out of your diet again, if it helps C then its worth it but also you know that none of that is good for your mental health or calming down when it comes to rest time. i am a huge believer in 'if you arent getting your energy from sleep then you need to get it from food' But you need to pick the right foods, like high protein and complex carbs! chocolate wont help your mind racing at 2am!
Walk away from the guilt, it does none of us any good! be proud of what you do do! Look at how beautiful your children are, you made them and your created their personality, if you were lacking then so would they be!
You are doing a great job and you know that this stage will pass. One day when they are all teenages and we are freaking out cause they arent home yet, we will want to swap anything to go back to these days!
). Apparently it means that stomach acid and stuff comes up and down a bit. When this had been happening we had incorrectly assumed she needed to burp, and the patting her back had been making her spew. We have been trying to follow the 'tips' for silent reflux (sitting them upright and offering a dummy after it appears to have gone away to help neutralise the acid) and it seems to be working really well, so even if that is not it the tactics seem to be helping!
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Anyone else have any signs of AF yet? At least (if it is indeed AF) it seems to be pain-free so far. I only had 2 AFs after my lap and I hadn't had any improvement in the pain so I was dreading the first PPAF.
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