rosey - it's so rough when they're not sleeping well, isn't it! and while those snuggles are just beautiful, it can also be wonderful to have some time alone with your own body, and some sleep ... first, make sure you're on top of all of their tired cues, so you can get them prepared for their sleep *before* they are too tired ... this is the first thing I'd be concentrating on ... if you're already doing that, then by all means, find out whether there is actually something specific upsetting your LO when laying down (like silent reflux, or gas) and whether there's anything you can do to help (like gripe water, or raising the head end of their cot to make a nice gentle angle, or tailoring your diet if you might be eating something which is giving them a sore tummy or painful wind) ... you can also try different things of course, like a baby rocker or glider (ours was an absolute God send with DS1, who would happily sleep it it for hours at a time with a gentle steady rock, angle, and some sweet repetitive music on ...) or hammock or whatever ... try different things, to see if any help ... try a deep warm bath followed by a massage ... try different combinations of wrapping and singing and soothing and feeding in dimply lit rooms ... try getting them more natural light during "awake" periods, without overly stimulating before nap time ... just keep trying different things until you find something that works. and ultimately, you might find that you then have lots of tools in your belt, ready and available for you to use - or you might find out that being held is the only thing that works! and then you figure out how to make that work for you But you'll find little things which help along the way - like for me, changing the nappy half way through the feed helps, so they're nice and drowsy and milk drunk from the second half of the feed when it's time for cuddles and the next lie down ... etc ... just find what works for you and them, and go with that

As for your Q re housework, DH is a SAHD and so he does a crapload of the housework. But when I'm home without him, after DS2's first feed, he normally goes down for at least an hour and DS1 will play reasonably happily by himself with a bit of supervision - so that's when I get all the laundry, dishes, and kitchen organised. Sometimes though, realistically, that's the only serious housework that gets done, depending on the kids. If the boys have a nice simultaneous nap, I can get 2-3 hours worth of serious housework done - the bathrooms, the general pick up, gardening, cooking up batches of hearty meals to pack away for lunches ... but if they're not sleeping at the same time, then realistically I am playing with them, teaching them, taking them outside, singing and dancing and bathing and feeding ... sometimes you can get housework done at the same time, but don't bank on it! I'm a very organised person, I'm a very clean person, but I can handle clutter ... piles of paper and books and so forth are not "mess" in my house ... they are life. But DH and I agree on what the priorities are, and between us, they get done consistently and well and often. So my view personally is have a chat, decide what the standard you're both happy with - and can maintain - is, and go from there.

sloane - done

elocin - it's official! you have a baby!! woot!!

buffy - thanks, hun. I've only technically been back at work one day!! I got a lot done though, and I gather I'm very missed by my team which is nice but I need to get back ... but first, I need to get better. yay for head control!! DS2 is still working on this one - total opposite of DS1 who had neck control literally from birth!! result seems to be that DS2 is not very fond of tummy time, though ... DH and I need to persist more on that front ... with pushing the sleeps back later, have you tried getting her up for some skin-on-skin and cluster feeds a bit later? just a thought ... may or may not work for you! And ah, Costco ... I remember being there with a very young DS1 and he was having a bit of a booby day! Thank goodness for strategically placed display furniture ... I'm sure that's what it's there for, breastfeeding mothers, yes?

fuzzy - hello there, girl!! DS2 is closer to yours - feeding around 10-12pm and meaning that we're in bed late, too ... I think I need to start just going to bed whenever he does ... it might be the only way I get some sleep! Good on you for keeping up with your uni, Ms Superwoman!! And the gym!! Make sure *you* don't get Glandular, though ... please don't overdo it And expressing is awesome. Get it into you, if you can I've only just got back to the gym and exercise etc (I walked 2.5km today though, outside, which was totally lovely) but I don't see myself getting back into uni for a while ... I finished one course before DS1, and I can continue it to get another degree which would be really good, but it's Just. So. Time. Consuming.


bedtime for me now