she wanted to go to the dinner and said he wouldnt let her lol
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she wanted to go to the dinner and said he wouldnt let her lol
Oooooh congrats - very exciting xx
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Mornin'
Congrats on the arrival of your little boy Kat - wonderful news
Vic - cheers, I missed seeing what everyone was up to on FB hahahahaha
AFM - I have been in struggletown this week. We had a fertility appt this week after a few tests each, a cyst was found in one of my ovaries, but a follow up scan found that it was gone, seems I have one very dominant ovary and one very lazy one - which is most likely the reason why we had very little eggs with our Bailey cycle, most likely we were in the lazy cycle. Anyway, DH had another semen analysis which came back a bit better than 3 years ago (but not enough to really change things much). So at our appt we booked on for a cycle - so basically waiting for my next period to arrive. Then DH had a melt down and said he didn't want another child. This led to a Naomi meltdown - pretty much I couldn't stop crying for two days - massive talks and we are back to 'thinking' about it - IVF canx for now. Massive step backwards! I've been ready to go since christmas so I am pretty much over waiting and basically Sean can keep me waiting until the fertility boat has left so we 'negotiated' a decision date - Mid Oct at the end of our holiday, then if its a yes, the deal is to do an IVF cycle before christmas. So this week has been a tough one. I've gone from being devastated over the thought of never having another child to a bit of hope restored.......but I'm a bit precious atm, I feel like my whole lifes plan for my family is at risk, and am just gutted that ultimately DH may decide he just cant do it despite our hopes and dreams from a few years ago. It just seems like the whole IVF/Hip Dysplasia etc dramas have scarred him and he seems to be stuck on all the challenging parts of a newborn rather than the rewarding ones. We have had MANY talks about this
Anyway, that's my befuddled state at the moment, I am sick of being in limbo and waiting, I cant do it for much longer, I am very much at crossroads it seems - either my life is going to follow the path I had hoped, or I am going to have to at some point come to terms with the fact of not having another child :(
**sigh**
Massive hugs Nay - know all too well the roller coaster ride you're on at the moment. i've hit a point where i just want to know one way or another - do we close the door for good, or do we actively strive for something more. i am trying so hard to remain positive that there is a chance, but I think i almost want something odd to show up in d&c next month that forces us to close the door, grieve and then move on as a family of three for good. it's so frikken hard to live in limbo!!
i'm here any time you want to chat - feel free to bend my ear - unfortunately, i get it all too well
Congrats Santosha and family on the arrival of your new little man!
Oh Nay, I'm so sorry you've had such a rough week. There's not anything I can even say to make you feel better :( Hopefully that gorgeous little monkey of yours is what will make your DH realise that another one would be such a blessing. I certainly hope the world gets to experience another mini-Sean or a mini-Nay!
Thanks KL and BG - As I read my post back I realise I wrote 'MY' hopes and dreams for our family, I'm saddened that at the moment I just dont know whether they are MINE or OURS, and I want them to be OURS again
you have to deal with YOUR feelings about where S is at, before you can talk to him about HIS - unless you want it to be confrontation central. you need to know how your feelings are pushing you to one outcome, and how his outcome would make you feel. then you can talk to hiim about his desired outcome, and how YOUR dream is making him feel. and then work through it together.
our situation is somewhat opposite to yours. having been the one on the end of so much illness and pain related to conceiving and carrying E, not to mention the stuff I am going through now, as much as my heart screams every now and then for another, most of the time i am content with E. C, on the other hand, wants a huge family - and spends so much time trying to convince me we would survive if i had the same awful pregnancy etc - so I can honestly see this from both sides. and it's something that is very hard to deal with
Oh Naomi.... I am really sorry to hear all of that. Darren and I have always had widely different ideas about how many children we want to have. Having said that it is nothing like what you guys have and are dealing with. You must feel so disappointed to have thought you were about to start this journey and then find that it may never be. On a good side at least it is out in the open and you two can talk about it. At least your DH is secure enough in your love and relationship to have confessed how he feels about it all. Knowing how much you want this it must have been hard for him to do. It shows what a solid relationship you both have. If it makes u feel any better I was reading a study awhile ago that suggests that if parents have differing ideas about how many children to have then generally the woman gets what she wants. I would hazard a guess to suggest that now that you are aware of his fears and worries you can address some of them. But my heart goes out to you because I know how much you love motherhood and I know if the prospect of more children was taken from me I would be devastated. Xx Bella
DH and I have been given a rather huge surprise...
Shhhhh, it's a secret :)
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I don't understand the lines and arrow - is it because am on my phone? Will have to get up and go look on computer!
How are everyone's two and a bit year olds?
CJ has me in hysterics so often she says the funniest things, but is also so bossy ordering us around all the time "that's mummy's spot, that's grandmas spot etc" we all have our place it seems. Once mum caught her hair when putting a bib on so now everytime she says "be gentle with my hair".
wow!! nice work KL! Congrats hun
now i understand, no signatures on phone.
Congrats KL!
Congratulations Kristy!!!! That is wonderful news! How far along love? Pregnant together again, even if it is a ways apart. Was this little possum planned?
Thanks girls. Whoops Vic, forgot signatures wouldn't show up on phones.
This little one was about as far from being planned as you can get. While I'll accept the congratulations, DH is currently accepting commiserations... He definitely didn't want any more babies. He was reluctant to even agree to two for us together, so I'm sure you can imagine how thrilled he is at the moment :/ For me though, I was having a tough time accepting that I would never have any more babies and felt like I was actually going through a grieving process of the baby that I would never have, so personally this is a very happy thing for me.
I must admit that I feel like if there is such a thing as fate or destiny, they definitely played a huge role in this. We still can't believe that it is even possible that I'm pregnant. When we did the 2 IVF cycles with Shayla we ended up with only one precious chromosomally healthy embie out of 21 embies and 32 eggs, so it seemed that our odds of creating chromosomally healthy eggs wasn't that great. Then partner that with the fact that between me having a cold, then thrush, and then the flu.... well, there was only one night of activity that could possibly result in a baby if you know what I mean ;) So the overwhelming odds against being pregnant made me miss all the early pregnancy warning signs. I just dismissed them all as being caused by other things. Even the start of morning sickness I blamed on one of my stepsons who had gastro, so I thought I'd caught a mild case of it. It wasn't until it continued for days and days, and then I started having dizzy spells that DH actually suggested testing. Even then we were both so sure that I wasn't pregnant that we forgot to even test until the next night. There was a lot of very shocked laughter when the test line came up about twice as dark as the control.
I've had my first Ob apt and I am about 7w5d today. so still early. I was terrified at the first apt because for two days beforehand I had been getting blood-tinged mucus that was the same as when we lost our first baby, so I was convinced something was wrong. Then at the apt my Ob started with an abdominal scan and couldn't see anything in the pregnancy sac and also said things looked small for my dates. I knew there was no other possible date, and the only conclusion I could draw was the baby had died. He admitted that things are hard to see with abdominal scans for me early on though because of my retroverted uterus, so he swapped to an internal. First thing I see is a big scary black pregnancy sac and nothing else. Then he moved around a bit and a little smudge appeared at the bottom. A bit of zooming in and I instantly saw the flicker of the heartbeat. The relief I felt made me realise just how much I already love this baby and how much I want it in our lives.
DH is still freaking out and has gone into "survival fix-it" mode. He seems to think that there are a whole bunch of things that need to be done RIGHT NOW. Ok, so the car is probably pretty important. Already we can't fit our entire family in either of our cars and if we are all going somewhere it requires taking both our cars. But I figure if need be I could swap to his car which is a little bigger and I'm sure I could squish 3 baby seats across the back, which still leaves the front passenger seat free when I pick up my 11 year old DSS from school. But DH NEEDS it to be all 'fixed' right now. He's also stressing about where everyone is going to sleep. The DSS's each have their own room (at 11 and 14 they are really too big to share), and Kyson has his room. The plan was always for Shayla and Kyson to share a room, so I don't see why rooms would be an issue yet because the baby will be in with us for probably 12 months or so anyway. But DH NEEDS for us to organise something RIGHT NOW. *sigh* So we are looking at getting a little bungalow out the back for the 14 year old. I think the 'planning' thing is very much a male coping mechanism.
I wonder if DH gets frustrated because my attitude is "We'll cope. We'll be fine." My Mum had 3 babies under a year of age and coped just fine, so I figure I can handle 3 under 3...
Lee and Nay - I know both you girls are both struggling with conception and baby related things at the moment, and I actually feel guilty about being pregnant and especially for how easily it seemed to happen. I know that you are both probably still very happy for me, but i also understand that it could be painful for you both, and I'm terribly sorry for that. I want you both to know that I would never feel offended if you chose to skip over my posts and I don't want you to feel obliged to comment on anything. Gosh I hope that came across in the way that I mean it. I just don't want to hurt either of you.
Tis all good Krystie - and you already have my congratulations, but congrats officially in here
:)
thanks hun:
i don't have any ill feelings towards anyone else - just sooky la la moments for myself. it's just the way life is. i have accepted my lot in life - hate it, but it is what it is. If i'm not coping, i will skip pg updates. it's part of why i sometimes just go quiet for a while - it's no one's issue but my own, so i disappear for a while - catch up when i'm feeling less "raw"...
how are the other toddlers coping with cutting their 2yo molars? E has been suffering badly from them. she is so run down she is picking up nasty bugs very easily - hate seeing her sick
i have been unwell off and on - and pretty much at meltdown point for a couple of weeks. My gyne put me on mini pill while waiting for d&c - started it about 2 weeks ago - and i became really really sick with it - constant migraines (both traditional and just my eyes), nausea, upset stomach. i got to the point i simply wasn't coping - being around E was setting me off in a big way (mood swing central) so i rang the gyne. he wasn't available, so i went to GP and he suggested i knew my body and my reactions well enough to stop it if i felt it necessary. yesterday, gyne rang back. firstly told me the pill i'm on (provera) doesn't cause migraines. it's listed as one of the serious side effects. it doesn't cause visual disturbances. again, listed as a side effect. we argued. i told him i knew it was from the pill as it was all triggered by the pill, and on stopping it last week, it had all eased. he told me i was wrong. pffft. he then said we'd talk about "long term" stuff when we next had an appointment - which will be in the recovery ward after d&c!! shyte! gonna have to make sure i go in armed with the info pack to show what i'm talking about. i said to him that, LONG TERM, i have no intention of taking the provera, or anything similar, as there is no need for it. it's a form of contraceptive and we actually WANT more kids. and here's the kicker - he said provera has NO CONTRACEPTIVE action - wtf?? then why the hell is it actively given to new mum's as a form of contraception to back up BF? wtf??
i looked into it further - it prevents ovulation in approx 50% of cycles (and considering probably half of mine are anovulatory anyway, he's cutting my chances to 25% of cycles) - in those cycles where you DO ovulate, it alters the uterine lining to make it hostile and hard for implantation to occur - so a huge wtf??????????????
my family deserve better than what i have been for the past couple of weeks. far out *I* deserve better.
i fear i'm going to have a fight on my hands!!!
lets all pray i have an oopsie pregnancy before september 22!! lol
if its not a contraceptive im stuffed lol but im still feeding overnight does that make a difference and have yet to see AF so im confused