Pantha - we can all tell you the most important thing is to have Lotte here safe and sound and healthy, and that being a mum, starting with pregnancy & childbirth is about accepting things you can't change and that you're a great mum. Those statements are true, but there can also be a grief and loss component about birthing and parenting. So my advice is if you are having those feelings, don't ignore them. You've mad a good start, being honest about your feelings and going to the forum to get support from others in the same boat, but make sure you follow up - I would recommend seeing someone if you can - get those feelings out and resolved. Its much better than denying them and having them fester and come back unexpectedly later, and somehow later it's much much worse.
I suffered a lot in the early weeks after Hannah was born with similar feelings. Luckily I could work on them and work through them, no sure how with all my energies devoted to learning how to be a mum.... still not resolved so off to the counsellor for me next week. On top of those feelings of failure for having a caesear - are getting sick with pre -eclampsia and hellp, then not being able to breast feed without drugs, not having enough supply so I could not fully nurse Hannah without assistance, not spotting that she was hungry earlier and letting her suffer, and then the whole host of feelings I have about failing my other babies. And sometimes if I really low, as blessed as I am to have Hannah, sometimes, she just reminds me of all the missed opportunities with Amelia, Nicholas and Sophie. I expect that will be a life long experience for me, so it's something I need to get a handle on, but it can be pretty tough. Oh and then there's the guilt about feeling like that.... so see it never ends. And it's not a competition about feelings. Your feelings about your caesear are entirely valid. We all have our demons and they all need attention, but also like Buzzie said, try not to fall into the trap of the "the grass being greener" if you'd had a vaginal birth, as you don't know what would have happened if things had gone down that path. But your feelings are important. Honestly if we let it, mother guilt never ends and would do our heads in. So, I want to repeat, I am so proud of you for admitting your feelings, and then telling us. It takes a LOT of COURAGE. Keep living a life of courage and you will get through. Big hugs.
Deana - oh my, I know how scary it is when there is little or no weight gain and I can only imagine how much more scary it is with Blake's vomitting. All I can say is that you have done the right thing in taking Blake to the Dr. All you can do is seek help when you think something is up and to keep seeking help if you still think something is up. I know it's not funny but I do not have any idea of how you are going to capture Blake's wee. I have a mental image of you trying to get him to pee in a cup, and following him around with a cup poised and getting it all over you. When you do get some and you've come through, you'll have to share with us how you managed it. I hope it's as simple as increasing the meds. Don't be afraid of asking the Dr about Losec. I have some friends whose baby had severe reflux and it seems to have helped their baby no end, and saved their sanity a bit too. They were initially on it for 6 weeks and then a review. I am not sure where they are at now with it, as the review will be this week sometime.
Buzzie - good luck with house hunting and vaccinations on Tuesday.
Bec - I so know what you mean about trying too much travelling in one day. Glad it got better and the trip back was more manageable.
Fuzzy - Hannah sounds so much like Chloe. Hannah rarely settles without a fair bit of assistance except when I least expect her to. LOL. It's draining sometimes. I try not to compare her to other babies ( I was doing that when she was crying in 20 hours of 24, and it honestly didn't help me and sent around the twist) - Hannah is her own individual and what she's doing now is within the range of normal. She hardly sleeps during the day, so it does mean slightly longer sleeps during the night than Chloe. But she was up at 2,4,6 today and has only had 2 cat naps of 20- 30 mins so far since. She is just down now, so maybe, just maybe I can eek an hour + from her. So my sweet, don't despair, your darling blossom s just doing it her way.
Not much to report here. Unlike poor Blake, Hannah is putting on weight and growing longer - 60cm now. And probably 6kgs by now as she was 5.96 when she was weighed on Friday. DH and I have our moments. For some reason if she cries and I am near her, he tends to say "oh do you have wind, what did mummy eat?", or "are you cold, did mummy have the bath water too cold?", or "did mummy bump your head?" God it takes every fibre within my very being not to yell at him then and there. I made a committment not to fight around Hannah, especially when I was holding her., so I hold my tongue. I have already asked him not to say things like that as it undermines my confidence and makes me angry. He said he understood but there was another instance today... grrr... men are so obtuse. I am so tempted to do the same to him, but that's just hurtful. Oh well off to have another chat to DH about it. He's apologised but I am not prepared to let it rest as honestly, it does hurt quite a lot when he says it. Life would be so dull without him. Imagine all the moments of character building that I would miss out on....
OMG I feel terrible!! I gave Isaac some Infacol wind drops earlier for the first time, and accidently gave him too much. I read the pack wrong, and thought it said 2mls, so I gave him 1ml then checked the pack again before giving the extra mil, and realised it said 0.2mls.. I gave him 5 times too much. I rang the poisons info line and they said he will be fine. He is very sleepy now, but he didn't really burp or anything though, so I'm just going to keep an eye on him tonight but I feel like the worst mother in the world. I just had a big cry when I got off the phone. I'm just glad I didn't make that mistake with Panadol or something that could be harmful.
Bec - dont worry I am sure soooooo many people do the same thing. If the poisons place said it is fine, then I am sure it is fine. I cant imagine that Infacol would be recommended at all if we were not able to make mistakes like that. I almost made it to. Gee we all do something wrong at some point dont we? I guess it makes us better parents in the long run. I still feel bad about cutting Chloe's finger with the nail clippers. A friend of mine did the same thing and put a little bandaid on her sons finger then he swallowed the bandaid!
Dory - grrr at your DH. Although its not as bad as 'if you are this upset about little things like this then I dont think you would handle having another one' - a friend of mine got this one from her DH last week and I reckon it takes the cake for s(*&(&t things to say! Mine just says things like 'OMG I am sooooo tired' hmph. Thanks for making me feel better about Chloe. She was a little trooper today. Slept 1 hour in the morning, then 2 hours at lunch then another 1.5 hours this arvo! See how we go tonight.
Has anyone else started losing hair or have dandruff? I have never had dandruff before but I have it - as of today - and a bit of hair loss. Hoping this is pregnancy hormones leaving the building maybe??
Fuzzy - glad you had a better time with Chloe... Hannah is being a sleep refuser today but I need a nap so I have persisted. I think I had a nanna nap in the chair.. I have put her down and hopefully she'll sleep for a little while. I also nicked Hannah's finger with the nail clippers. It is the worst feeling. And to see the blood is awful. You asked in the other thread about rolling? No complete rolls here. Some attempts that really just make Hannah look spas. No dandruff here but I am starting to have some hair fall. I reckon it is the preg hormones! that is a yukky thing to say ... sometimes people, not just blokes, don't think before they speak. DH and I had a good chat about it, and hopefully he will try to engage the brain before he opens his mouth in future. I suppose the other thing is that, when he says it I am usually tired or have been dealing with a fractious baby, so not the best timing either. Those things would still upset me any other time, but it's even more so at times of stress.
Bec - you did the right thing by calling poisons info line. I reckon the labels are printed in such tiny writing that they make it much harder than it has to be. We all make and will make mistakes. Go and lick your wounds, watch your boy and go easy on yourself.
I had a vaccination today for hep b, first of 3! It hurt. No wonder Hannah cried so much! Dr didn't give me a lolly pop though I am sure THAT would have made it hurt less. We are having Hannah baptised on Sunday. We are not really religious, but we both come from families who are. I am looking forward to the party afterwards.
Anyway, nap time! Hello to everyone else - Connie, Catherine, Apes, Kirsten, Chuckie, Buzzie, Pantha ( hope you're feeling better), Deana ( how is Blake today - has the increase in the meds helped?), Apes... I think that's everyone?
Fuzzy- Yes, Dandruff here..I had it towards the end of my pregnancy & it just hasn't gone away..SO annoying! I had to tell my sister in law when she was cutting myhair that it was pregnancy related and I don't ever get it any other time!!! I also find my hair goes oily very quickly aswell.
Dory- My DP is the same, he will always make them comments..because Harlow crying is ALWAYS something Mummy is doing-even if I have been out of the room and he has been watching her..At first it hurt me but now I bite back "Yes David, when you went to the toilet before I snuck in and bonked her on the head just so she could cry and have you make me feel like *****" then I smile & continue doing my thing..Just keep thinking "Grain of Salt"..I sometimes find it is DPs way of "coping"..He is getting slightly frustrated and that is his way of dealing with it..by finding reasons for ther crying-that don't involve him *sigh*
Bec- Ohh you poor thing freaking out aboput the infacol-You did the right thing by ringing Poisons info line..and it is SO SO easy to mistake dosages when they are like that isn't it..!!! I hope he is alright now and you are too
Omg I thought I was lucky with my DP not saying anything stupid yet but he threw a good one at me last night.. We were talking about our next baby and I said you do want more don't you and he says of course but not right now, don't know if I could go thru all that again! WTF!!!! I said go thru what?!? Coming to appointments with me and watching ME push her out!! I did it all thankyou.. And he comes back with, yeh and I had to hold the shower hose for 4 hours! PML u poor thing! Thankfully for him we had a laugh about it after but geees what a dumb thing to say when I did all the hard work lol
Bec - hope issac is ok now, I wouldn't of thought infocol was too dangerous maybe, good thing you called them. I prob would of felt bad too but I feel
Bad about everything I do wrong with the kids, it's so tough when we are just trying to help them.
Bec - I hope Issac is ok, I'm sure he will be, I dont think infacol is too dangerous. Don't feel too bad I have almost drowned George twice in the bath. He wriggles so bloody much he ends up putting half his face under the water and I freak!
Fuzzy - No dandruff, but my hair is coming out in massive clumps. Everytime I put my hands through my hair, I get a handful!
George was weighed again today (every 2 weeks so we know how much Zantac to give him)... he's 7.3kgs! The doctor said he has definitely caught up for his age. Based on his corrected age (when he should have been born), he would be in the 97th percentile. If he went to full term he would have been 9-10 pounds... OUCH!!
Anyway, his paed has said to try introducing him to solids in 2 weeks time. Basically because he will probably start to need something more than milk soon, because it could help the silent reflux, and because we dont want to hold him back because he was prem his whole life. I can't believe he is 4 months old today and will be almost 5 months when we start the solids. Time flies. His development is definitely still at the rate of a 10 week old though. He isn't holding on to toys as yet and hasn't rolled at all. He is still at the stage of realising his hands are the best sucking tools in the world!
Connie - yep Chloe is 11 weeks old tomorrow and has just discovered her fists. Cant quite figure out how to keep them in her mouth yet tho. So cute to watch. That is a great weight!! He certainly has caught up LOL. Cant believe you are at the solids stage already. I guess we will be there too in about 7 weeks. Yikes. Let us know how you get on. I bet he will love it x
Buzzie- LMAO @ your DP saying "Yeh but I had to hold the shower hose for 4 hours"..MEN!!! David whinges about any little pain & I always say "yeh, well try push a baby out without any DRUGS-then talk to me about pain" and..After I had Harlow he complained his arms were hurting because he was fanning my face with a magazine in the last half hour of labour..and the look I shot him after complaining was priceless!!! I love how men make out that they did the hard yards of it all...!
Connie- Amazing that George would have been a 10pounder if he went to term..ouch indeed! That is So fantastic he is putting on weight & thriving- How exciting starting Solids aswell!!!
Pantha- I formula feed-but- Harlow has started fussing on feeds aswell, she will have a few sucks of a bottle then scream and fuss and it takes me awhile to get her calmed down enough to continue drinking again..maybe it is just the age? She doesn't bring up any milk aftr a feed (Maybe once every few days) but she does cough & hiccup alot..the health nurse told me hiccuping is normal..
As for the depression..You know talking about it is the first step to recovery-so well done!!! Definatly talk to your GP and see what help you can get, getting onto it early is such a good thing because you will benefit from early help in the long run..My Anxiety/Panic attacks are slowly creeping up on me..bloody hormones!
Belfie- just a quick question...You mentioned Annika coughs & hiccups after her feeds aswell..Harlow coughs after a feed aswell! Do you knwo why they d that at all? My MCHN didn't say anything aout it when i told her Harlow does it... I'm pretty certain she doesn't have silent reflux or anything-she does fuss and scream on some bottles but not in pain, just more a frantic "I'm F&^%ing HUNGRY WHY DIDN'T YOU FEED ME 5 MINUTES AGO WOMEN" cry, settles then feeds fine but she doesn't spit up (Maybe once every few days) and she doesn't scream/cry like she is in pain at sporadic moments of the day..Just wondering what the cough part could be about..Its normall just after a feed as I am burping her she lets out one or two little coughs..
Pantha/Belfie - Chloe often spits up a little amount. And she will cry and scream and pull off the boob - go straight back on - pull off, kick me etc (usually at the end of the day). For Chloe, its not reflux - its really bad wind. My let down is really really fast and as a result she often gulps at the breast and takes in air when she is feeding. If I dont burp her enough at each feed at the end of the day she has bad wind. So from 6 pm I feed her lying down with a heat pack between us pressed against her belly. I stop frequently to pump her legs up to her belly to get farts out. Last night before her bed I got 7 farts out of her!! Her wind has been particularly bad this last week - waking her up during the night. They are supposed to grow out of this 'colicky' phase around the 12 week mark. So nearly there..
I also nicked Hannah's finger with the nail clippers. It is the worst feeling. And to see the blood is awful. You asked in the other thread about rolling? No complete rolls here. Some attempts that really just make Hannah look spas. No dandruff here but I am starting to have some hair fall. I reckon it is the preg hormones! that is a yukky thing to say ... sometimes people, not just blokes, don't think before they speak. DH and I had a good chat about it, and hopefully he will try to engage the brain before he opens his mouth in future. I suppose the other thing is that, when he says it I am usually tired or have been dealing with a fractious baby, so not the best timing either. Those things would still upset me any other time, but it's even more so at times of stress.
I am sure THAT would have made it hurt less. We are having Hannah baptised on Sunday. We are not really religious, but we both come from families who are. I am looking forward to the party afterwards. 
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