G, sorry for the rant, hope I didn't upset you. I don't really know your situation, perhaps you are happy with the arrangement?
It is a sore point for me. I struggle with being a SAHM. It is very thankless, no rewards or recognition and I see DH go off to work every day and I am totally jealous that he gets to have two lives - a family life and a working life where he gets to be a real grown up (with pay-rises, bonuses, social functions, trips away...). Until recently I was kidding myself about when I go back to work but when I actually thought of the reality of it - it is going to be a total of 9 years before I can even go back part time, and then probably another 10 years after that before I can go back into full time work. I am going to be in my mid 40's by then, not much chance of starting a high-flying career by then.
I'm not upset, I guess I just look at the situation a bit differently. I was really unhappy at my job before I fell pg with L. I was so happy to get out of it. I feel really lucky to be a sahm and see it as my 'job' and even though the hours are longer, it is much easier and more enjoyable than my previous job. I feel like dh gets the rough end of the pineapple! He works really long hours 6-7 days a week. He crawls around in peoples roofs with rats to keep our heads above water financially. I get to spend all day with my babies! Yes I do get bored sometimes, and would like more breaks but I feel that he deserves to spend most of his weekend doing what he likes. My time will come later when the kids are older.
Sorry for rant! Waiting for dh to come back with fish and chips! Lol
G, if it works for you then that is great Maybe I just got dud kids - Captain Tantrum and The Screeching Shadow make going to work seem like a fantasy escape lol
Well I'm gonna wade in and say I don't know how either of you do it, even when I only had DD1 I had her FDC for at least one afternoon a week by the time she was 9 months old. Mind you, that was back when FDCarers charged the govt's scheduled childcare rate and not TWICE that amount per hour! But I have a very strong need for 'me time' even if I"m doing "nothing" in particular, just need to not be switched on attentionally 100% of the time. I guess I'm pretty lucky with DH as he has always been hands-on around the house, even before we had kids. Looking back I think DD1 might've fallen into the difficult-to-parent category as Missy E has always been much easier/less draining/less demanding but DH has always been sypathetic to my need to detach and step away from the family for even just a couple of hours at a time.
BTW I LOL'd at Captain Tantrum and the Screeching Shadow. You might feel braindead but you've still got plenty of wit my dear. x Don't be down about your career, I'm about to turn 40 and I'm only getting started with doing the thing I want to be doing, but i've looked around and all the really successful well-known people in that field pretty much only got started around this age. There is a lot to be said for wisdom, and once you turn 40 you can make things happen for yourself in ways you didn't understand how to when you were younger. Plus your priorities will be different and your definition of success and what that looks like in your own life will have changed.
Cass, sooo happy for you to be visiting with Opa, though it does sound like it's an exercise in defying the cold.
Ginger, your mummy-time date with yourself sounds fantastic! All the more enjoyed for its rarity, I'm sure. I'm still traumatised from my last waxing experience - she made my eyebrows crooked (one is bushier than the other)! Am patiently waiting for them to grow back to evenness but next time I will be more critical before I leave.
Cally, Sydney is such a lovely city to recreate oneself in, isn't it? I had the good fortune to attend a conference in Darling Harbour and hung around the city a bit, lovely space. It's only when you have to live out in the boondocks of the outer suburbs, and deal with realities of getting from a to b that the place loses its shine.
All well here, crashed with fatigue yesterday after talking to my sis nearly nonstop for an entire day. LOL. Went to an amazing workshop today with a 72 year old poet who looked not a day older than 50 whose poetry received a hand-written compliment by none other than ANAIS NIN (!) Very interesting afternoon.
Md- that eyebrow incident sounds horrid!!! Luckily my brow waxer is an absolute expert. I swear I leave there looking like I've had a facelift.
Bit of a lazy Sunday here today. We've got a fire raging and been doing some work in the house and garden.
KitKat surprised us with 2 dead rats on the floor this morning
MD your day sounded lovely. I'd really like to do something like that.
Arte and G, it's interesting to read the different perspectives on that. I guess I'm somewhere in the middle of you two - I'm happy to do the bulk of the housework and be the SAHParent but DH will chip in no worries at all and it's not a problem to take time off for myself etc. But then I've got pretty cruisy kids that I can do that and not have to beg someone to take them for me LOL.
We are up to our second week of holidays and I'm down to only 2 kids! E has gone to spend the week with DH's sister and her family and this morning I dropped L off at his mates place and they were going to Canberra for 2-3 nights and asked if L could come. They have heaps planned so he was really excited to go. And to cap it off DH starts nightshift tonight so it will just be me, P and A.
I got my marks back for the quiz I did that I didn't study for and amazingly got 60%!! It will be a bit higher as heaps of us realised that some of the questions weren't marked properly. I was so relieved when I saw that I didn't fail. It will bring my overall grade down to 74% or so though I think, which is only a credit but still very good IMO.
Trill, congrats on the pass mark. Our exam results are supposed to be posted by Thursday so I have been compulsively checking on the website to find out how I did lol
MD, bummer about the eyebrows. I would be too scared to let someone muck around with my brows! But perhaps I should do something funky with them to detract from the mask of pregnancy that is slowly working its way up my face.
To show my lack of culture, I had to google Anais Nin - the only NIN that I know is the Nine Inch Nails kind.
Thanks for the career pep talk. I guess it is harder because DH is in the exact same field (and doing really well) so I can see all the things I am not achieving.
OMG ouch! This kid is trying to tear my belly open!
Ginger, how is JM going? Bet she is already like a well-oiled machine!
Last week before holidays here. There has been nasty weather for the past few days and it is meant to continue for the rest of the week. It has been raining nearly non-stop with thunder storms and some places are getting random tornados!
MD: now that would of been *quite* the look...i am a bit nervous with that these days as my bestie got her 'brows done one year and they took too much off from the middle so she looked like she was in a constant state of shock lol....in fact, she did look alot like this: hahahahahaha.
who was the poet? a mate of mine is a poet and it would be good if i can drop a name or two hahahahahahahaha.
Arte: so that baby is just making sure that they have stretched EVERY stomach muscle hey? i was watching (ok, this is embarrasing but go with it), Aus funniest home video the other day and one of the vids was this baby going psycho in the belly. INSANE. i wish you could of seen it!
Trill: that is so cool that you have friends (and your kids have friends!) that can do fun stuff like trips away! i remember doing stuff like that and it was just fun as it was different to travelling with my own family, so all new and exciting IYKWIM.
G: wow, 2 rats! that is some good hunting. my cats havent come home with any in quite a few months now wonder what is going on there?
AFM: well, we got back in one piece it was a long trip home (as it always is). we had to go through Grantham which is the town that was decimated by the inland tsunami and that was actually really difficult to witness. i had tried to prepare myself for it but man, i just dont think you can IYKWIM. there were houses still on their sides (yep, on the sides). houses that were once double story had concertinered together to become nothing more than roof with the double garage doors exploded off and rolled up like sardine tins over the roof of the house. the brick buildings had all exploded (as opposed to the wooden ones that had been ripped from the stumps and carried (and smashed) down the torrent). there is nothing left. no part of the town is intact. and one of the more distressing sights are the cars. they are still lying in ditches all smashed and upside down and covered with debris. I found it so hard, especially as when you look up and see the trees that are still standing (we are talking 100 year old gums so massive) and knowing that that is where they are (still) looking for people (the water went crazy high, i cannot even begin to describe that). even seeing my Opa's place and seeing all the remodelling of the garden and replanting was insane as he lives on a hill and i never imagined that they would get flooded.
On a much brighter note though, marta and i had a great time. it was sooo good to be there and just hang out with my Opa. i am very close to him and find his company easy and without the hassle of other people (gosh, i hope that doesnt sound selfish!) it was great for us to just do our thing at "clare and opa pace" lol.
Cass, that would have been really eerie to go through there. I imagine it would have been the same to go through Kinglake etc after the fires. It makes you appreciate the power of Mother Nature doesn't it? Your time with Opa sounds wonderful. How is he getting on being on his own now?
It has been nice only having the two kids at home, although they can still make as much mess and as much noise as if they were all here LOL. The loungeroom floor is currently covered in duplo and pencils and textas LOL. I left them to their own devices so I could go through the boys room in piece and get it sorted out and that was the end result.
Trill, I am desperate to clean up all the toys in the kids rooms! A's room still has all the baby toys and there is too much stuff in there, it is sitting in a steaming pile! MIL is coming in a couple of weeks and then I think we will pack up the spare bed and try to move all the kids along a room (just when Williams sleeping has finally come right!).
Bit bummed out today, my exam results are up and I only got a C+ for my first semester paper, which is only 55-59%. But I guess a pass is a pass and considering I was going to drop the paper because I was so tired and sick at the start of the year but was two days too late I guess it isn't that bad. And it was the most boring paper ever and I only did it because it is a prerequisite for doing 3rd year papers. And I have chocolate to make it all better
yeah, it was kinda weird to realise just how strong water can be IYKWIM. driving through floodwaters almostw 2 years ago made appreciate just how dangerous it all is and just how strong...it looks so peaceful on top, and yet just below there is a huge current.
haha, i also found that with having just Marta up at Opa's place...man, one kid or twenty, they are little tornadoes of destruction hahaha.
thanks for asking about Opa. TBH he is finding it really tough. i really feel for him and have been finding it a bit hard to be back here IYKWIM. i just want us all to be together so that he doesnt have to be alone. he does put on a brave face, but he has also admitted that is just painfully lonely...and bored . he gets home from his activities at around 12pm and then that is it for the day. no visitors, no little jobs to do. this is very hard for him and i am not sure how to help . he is part of the seniors network and they do quite alot, but i think that the real issue are the nights of no human contact. i am going to get him to really think about adopting an older pet dog (he is a dog lover). i think that it will be good for all involved.
(ah sorry for letting that all out...just really reeling from realising that one of parents is getting so old and it is scary)
LOl Arte, it is always the way isnt' it? I hope it doesn't disrupt his sleep when you do it. I kwim about the results. Even though you can say all these things to make you feel better about the pass, it still bloody stings.
Cass, that is Mum's problem too. She gets bored and lonely on her own as well. which is ironic because when he was alive she used to love it when he worked away. A dog sounds like a good idea too.
cass- i think the dog for your Opa sounds like a lovely idea. what about a beautiful ex-racing greyhound? they make the best companion dogs for homebodies
arte- at least you passed! i couldn't even think about trying to study atm with my 2 tornadoes running around lol
trill- well done on your mark too, you are doing so well!
pretty bored with this soggy wet school holidays! luckily we have swimming tomorrow and get to catch up with some friends. phew!!!
Arte a pass is a pass is a pass (although I think I would be bummed too ). Good idea to get the rooms sorted when MIL is there. DD1's room is the problem here, she is a shocking hoarder. I've pretty much got the rest of the year to convince her to let go of some of her 'treasures' or there won't be a room makeover at Christmas time. Missy E's room is pretty much under control, we've done a couple of purges now and she has the right amount of storage for the stuff she has....now if i could only train the rest of the family to actually PUT IT AWAY in the allocated spaces it would be perfect.
Cass, I can only imagine how devastating it would be to pass through that landscape knowing even just a fraction of what happened there. A dog for your Opa is a fantastic idea. BTW the poet was Maria Espinoza, your poety friend may not know of her. When she was published back in the 60s it was considered significant for the feminist perceptual viewpoint, which is how a copy came to be lodged in the University rare book collection here.
Ginger enjoy your catch up. It's cold and grey here too (but not really raining much). I feel bummed because last week they intimated we would be having sunshine all week and I don't think i've seen blue sky even ONCE since then.
Trill, I'll be a child down tomorrow when DD1 goes to stay with my parents. Do her good to have some time with them, given all the time we spent in another state. Enjoy getting your kidlets back!
MD, between 10 and 12 I would always spend 2 weeks of every summer holidays with my grandparents and I loved it!! It was so good having them all to myself. She is going to have so much fun with them.
G we've actually has pretty good weather these holidays which has surprised me! We have had some really cold and windy days, but if the kids rug up they can still go outside for a bit.
Well I got my semester results this morning and blow me down if I didn't end up with a DISTINCTION for English!! I thought that crappy quiz mark would drag my grade down so I am over the moon about that. I also got a Distinction for the technology subject and the expected Pass for PE. I have another PE elective subject this semester too, but it's a different lecturer and we are actually getting lecture notes with this subject so I think I will get a better mark this time. The bonus of it is that the big assignment we have to do is based around coaching sporting teams and how you do it etc so it should be a breeze considering I'm coaching two teams LOL.
L will be home tonight and E wont be home till Saturday now because DH will drive up to SIL's place tomorrow arvo and stay the night. So that will be nearly a full week she's been away! She rang me last night and sounded so grown up. I think its done her good to be away from the other kids for a bit.
Trill, congrats on the distinctions!! Great going, it is such a good feeling when you get better than expected marks. And bummer about the pass, as you said it still stings even when you expect it. What is PE?
Maybe I just got dud kids - Captain Tantrum and The Screeching Shadow make going to work seem like a fantasy escape lol
now that would of been *quite* the look...i am a bit nervous with that these days as my bestie got her 'brows done one year and they took too much off from the middle so she looked like she was in a constant state of shock lol....in fact, she did look alot like this: 
wonder what is going on there?
it was a long trip home (as it always is). we had to go through Grantham which is the town that was decimated by the inland tsunami and that was actually really difficult to witness. i had tried to prepare myself for it but man, i just dont think you can IYKWIM. there were houses still on their sides (yep, on the sides). houses that were once double story had concertinered together to become nothing more than roof with the double garage doors exploded off and rolled up like sardine tins over the roof of the house. the brick buildings had all exploded (as opposed to the wooden ones that had been ripped from the stumps and carried (and smashed) down the torrent). there is nothing left. no part of the town is intact. and one of the more distressing sights are the cars. they are still lying in ditches all smashed and upside down and covered with debris. I found it so hard, especially as when you look up and see the trees that are still standing (we are talking 100 year old gums so massive) and knowing that that is where they are (still) looking for people (the water went crazy high, i cannot even begin to describe that). even seeing my Opa's place and seeing all the remodelling of the garden and replanting was insane as he lives on a hill and i never imagined that they would get flooded.
. he is part of the seniors network and they do quite alot, but i think that the real issue are the nights of no human contact. i am going to get him to really think about adopting an older pet dog (he is a dog lover). i think that it will be good for all involved.
). Good idea to get the rooms sorted when MIL is there. DD1's room is the problem here, she is a shocking hoarder. I've pretty much got the rest of the year to convince her to let go of some of her 'treasures' or there won't be a room makeover at Christmas time. Missy E's room is pretty much under control, we've done a couple of purges now and she has the right amount of storage for the stuff she has....now if i could only train the rest of the family to actually PUT IT AWAY in the allocated spaces it would be perfect. 
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