Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

[AnyDream]

Kitteh update - she's eaten the modem powercord. Ho hum....

All good here. Had a class mass today and was very proud of Miss E who bravely stood up and read the scripture reading. Can't believe this is the same kid who had massive stagefright and refused to perform in the kindy play.

Got asked tonight which of my babies came out of my tummy and which ones came out of my vagina. LOL.

[Artechim]

Yay for Miss E and her new stage confidence It is lovely to see them develop like that Sorry your kitten ate the power cord lol.

My E had a very serious conversation with me the other day asking if I had a baby in my tummy. I said I didn't and she looked unconvinced, then said "but what about here?" and pointed to my boobs lol.

Things are just ticking along here. Nothing exciting. W has had a couple of counselling sessions which he enjoys but is yet to put any of it into practice at home so we are still left having no clue of how to deal with it all. I find myself avoiding him because I am so tired of him blowing up at me over everything e.g. closing his window, getting the wrong cup out etc. Official diagnoses of Sensory processing and anxiety, the sensory stuff is mainly outgrown but has left anxious habits e.g. the clothing. There is a special meeting next week about the longevity of his school, so there may be another school move for him next year. We knew when he started that it might be the case though, and the other school would be better for A so I will leave it up to the fates to decide.

On the bright side, the weather is improving every day and we have spent a lot of time out in the yard moving gardens and making a new sandpit. I thinned and replanted all the strawberry patch and the glass house is all ready to be loaded up.

[Cassius2]

Got asked tonight which of my babies came out of my tummy and which ones came out of my vagina. LOL.

Sorry but i totally have to

that is too funny...ahhhh kids.

Miss M informed me that babies come out of belly buttons after a kindy session, I told her straight up that they also come out of vaginas. Her jaw dropped lol. I think that she was talking with her bestie that was born via c-section so they musta been swapping stories hahaha. too funny.

Are you sure that Kitteh is not a labrador puppy trapped in the body of a kitten? chewing power cords has raised my suspicions lol.

Arte: I was wondering how the sessions were going. does the psych have any tips on how to implement at home?

AFU: well, we are in FULL ON party prep in our house. Miss L is having a Mad Hatters tea party and Miss M is having a mermaid party. It is full on, expensive (even though i have hit all the $2 shops in a 200km radius lol) and the time consumption is outta control. why oh why do i have two september babies born only 5 days apart??!!! ...hang on, dont answer that

[Artechim]

I spoke too soon lol. I will have to contact the psych and see what else we can do because I need help and it is all too slow. Just had the biggest ever supermarket meltdown disaster. My shins are likely to be bruised from all the kicking when I had to pick him up. He was totally feral - screaming, hitting me, pushing and tugging on the trolley, hurting the girls, absolutely hysterical and it just went on and on with no end. I have never been so humiliated. I am so tired of this. I struggle enough with being a mother at the expense of everything else I wanted to achieve in my life, and to have him making every day miserable makes it so much worse.

[AnyDream]

why oh why do i have two september babies born only 5 days apart??!!! ...hang on, dont answer that

Christmas champagne???!

Arte - LOL @ E thinking you've got some bubs stashed in ya boobs.LOL Your backyard improvements sound awesome, strawberry patch sounds marvellous. I'm guessing there might be some competitive pumpkin growing this year??? Massive hugs on the supermarket meltdown. So hard. I think it's a really good idea to see the psych, let him/her know that you need some help and support as well. STRATEGIES! Even if you go away with one or two things that you can try, or suggestions on how to handle the escalated behaviour, that will help with feeling more in control. FWIW there's plenty more life coming when you will have the time and resources to get on with your own dreams. xxx

Cass, you might be onto something with the dog-inside-cat theory. There's already a rat-inside-dog animal in the house LOL. Your party prep sounds WILD. Mad hatters AND mermaids - woah! Did it not occur to you to pick two thematically-related ideas? (That's my inner-lazy mum speaking LOL)

[Artechim]

This not-so-inner lazy mum has declared that no two children shall have parties in the same year

Thank MD xx

[Cassius2]

Unfortunately my girls have twigged on that they will choose their themes and there is nothing i can do about it

Remember last year how Miss M declared a princess ballerina duck party?? I let the cat out of the bag by giving it to her.

Arte: wooooooooohhhh. that sounds EPIC man. Miss E at the tender age of 20 months can stop the entire supermarket in its tracks with her tantrums but i still can tuck her up under my arm footy style and high tail it outta there...just thinking of trying to do that with Miss L is a logistical nightmare

I would be just totally exhausted and depressed at having to deal with that day in day out. I hope that the psych has some more immediate tips and tricks for the short term everyday stuff, because that is just too darn hard to negotiate.

[Artechim]

I called the psych in tears this morning and she has scheduled an appointment for DH and I next week. I ranted that he was a horrible kid and I wanted nothing to do with him and now I think she wants to assess my mental status I don't care anymore. I can't keep doing this. It has been so so long and I am just so tired.

Hopefully we can have a nice weekend with good weather and get the yard stuff finished. I have it in my mind that life will somehow be better if we have a functional sandpit, 'cos of course that will solve all my problems lol.

[AnyDream]

It's probably good that she's heard you in full-rant mode, it helps convey the severity of the situation, especially in terms of your own coping-ness. No point focussing all attention on W if other parts of the family are in crisis. So some of the strategies needed aren't just about W's behaviour, but also getting you some support so you're not feeling overwhelmed. It's been a long slog for you, it would drain anyone's mental wellness levels.

And you know what, the sandpit aint such a bad idea. Having small goals and achieving them incrementally has got many a woman through the grind of child-rearing.

We're currently doing our long-planned cubby-reno. We are turning it into a chill-out zone for the girls, including mummy MD. No-one else in the family knows this, but it's a project I hatched purely to give all four of us something to work together to achieve. It's like building a positive structure into our life. We've got the process of planning & negotiating & doing, but then afterwards we've got a permanent space to use as a hangout. Hopefully it generates happy family vibes for a long time to come.

[Artechim]

I was coming in to delete that but I was too slow. I did a stock take at a department store a couple of weeks ago and losing a few nights of sleep have thrown my balance right off and everything has got on top of me. It is hard to claw my way back when it gets like this.

MD, the cubby reno sounds like a great idea

[AnyDream]

Aw, don't feel like you need to censor yourself. I know the sleep deprivation part is bad, but how was it being back at a paid job?

[Artechim]

Alright I guess. I got locked in on the first night after everyone went home and set off all the alarms, cos that is just the sort of thing that happens to me lol. Then there was a lot of joking about it the next couple of nights, but I did talk to some people about things that weren't kids so that was quite good.

Sorry, I will keep my grumbling out of here. It will pass.

Cass, whilst I have drawn the line at parties, I have let them choose a cake each. OMG. Three cakes in a week. W wanted zombies but has just switched to Star Wars. Loads of cool Star Wars cakes on the net, but most are above my skill level. The girls are just about coming to blows over who is having a dora cake lol. I think I will let them look at the woman's weekly cake book at IL's tonight - they are fickle enough still to change their mind when the next thing comes along

[Cassius2]

Arte: basically as far as Miss L is concerned as long as the cake has popping candy stashed somewhere on it, we are on a winner lol. gross...but she loves that stuff (well, the theory behind it anyway...we'll see what she really thinks when the time comes haha).

Ahhh stocktake...I have fond memories There was something about it i found satisfying: i felt like i was getting something tangible done...and i got to see all the different kinds of crap that were stocked in the store hahaha (how gross and dirty is it under the shelves?!?!!! eeewwwww).

[Artechim]

How did L's birthday go?

I was a checker at the stocktake. It is all high-tech now - the counters had iPods to scan everything and then a sheet printed off for us to check they hadn't missed anything.

[Artechim]

Hope everyone has been having happy birthdays (MD included!)

My grandfather had a stroke last week and I went up to see him so I was upset and booking flights on A's birthday, missed W's and we have shifted E's to tomorrow so I could be home for it. My grandfather is one of my favourite people. It is incredibly hard to see a man that has always been so strong and able reduced to being as helpless as a baby and needing help to toilet I try to console myself that at least we still have him and he is improving each day, and that he won't remember much of this time when he is recovered. That doesn't stop it being heartbreaking though. We will all be up there in two weeks so I am looking forward to seeing him further along the recovery path.

[AnyDream]

Arte . So sorry to hear your grandfather has been so unwell. It must be so hard to see him like that. I hope he continues to recover and improve more and more. Sorry as well it all happened in the middle of the birthday patch, just another layer of stress, etc that you didn't need. How's he going now?

Well we've popped out the other side of our birthday week, I begrudgingly shared mine with Father's day (boo!) but made the most of it with breakfast in the Barossa, then arvo tea for the dads. For E's birthday we went to the show - always a big day out, but a huge success in birthday terms. I did DIY showbags & told E that we'd won a showbag competition on the radio and the showbag fairies had delivered them to our house in their van. PMSL. I'm am sooooo messing that kid up and she will hate me for all the fairy-based lies I have told in her short life.

Other than that, all going ok here. E has been unwell for a couple of days, massive temps last night but much chirpier today. How's everyone else going?

[Cassius2]

Party month is also over in our neck of the woods

This year I kept it super simple as seriously i just couldnt muster the energy or enthusiasm. I mean, I was super excited for the girls etc but was way more excited on their birthday proper than for the party. I think i am still struggling with a post move blue period. thankfully the girls didnt seem to notice that there were less culinary choices or less expressive birthday cakes this year: but i did feel bad

Arte: oh that is just awful My grandfather is starting to get so old now and his ability to live independently is shrinking almost by the day. I am not coping too well with that as he is my father figure in my life and was always the capable, strong and solid part of my life. The concept that he is mortal and fallible to old age is one that I cannot accept! Gosh darn it!

I truly hope that your grandfather is able to make speedy recovery and can get back to being himself again

MD: bahahahaha! i love it! look with Miss E it could go either way: either she will be so smitten with all the effort you went to to create her dreams or she will be super cross when the truth comes out lol...i'm going to hedge my bets and say she might do a bit of both

which brings me to the next thing: destroying dreams. Ok, so I have an inkling that this might be the year that Miss L realises that there is no Santa et al. The school is very competitive and revels in 'being the first' in everything and my spidey senses tell me that the closer it gets to christmas there will be a race to be the 'big kid' that no longer believes in santa and will go about laughing at all and sundry who still want some of the magic. So tell me Sept Mamas: Do your kids still go for the whole fantasy of it all? My girls are right into it. I am already thinking that when Miss L has her bubble burst that i might need to beg her to not tell Miss M. I think that I will try with reason and tell her to remember how fun it was to wait for santa and believe in him. what do you all think??

AFM: well DH is away jetsetting across the globe while i hold the fort in our big ol' lonely house. I think that our house is now trying to evict me...the heating crapped it and of course it has been below zero for the last two nights which equals a really unpleasant experience for all of us, and then in the wee hours of this morning the smoke alarm decided to have a party for no apparent reason (I am blaming it on dust or the huntsman spider who looked guilty as sin when I switched the light on). Poor Miss E was *beside* herself in fear and i was worried that it would set off a seizure, but thankfully nothing that i could discern. I think there *may* have been a brief absence one (which she gets in extreme stress) as she went deathly still with an iron grip...which is what it looks like when she has had one before...but because i was so busy making sure that we were not burning down I didnt get to look her in the face and see if she was really having one). this house has bad mojo and i just cant seem to shake it off

[Artechim]

Cass, I truly sympathise with the no heating - my last house only had one heat pump that died every year in the coldest week of winter Can you get some sort of mojo healer out to your house? I don't know much about that but it seems quite common in Maori culture to have an elder bless/something a place to cleanse any unsettled pasts.

As for Santa...not sure what to do about that. I imagine that W will be realising soon although he has held on tight to the fantasy. I have heard him and E having a spat because my mum gave them wallets last year and said they were from Santa and E said they were from Nana and W wouldn't give up that it was Santa. I think the girls are happy with Santa being a fairy tale like the movies etc, but W reminds me of Fox Mulders poster - "I want to believe" lol.

MD, I don't think she will hate you for your fairyisms - she will appreciate that you put some magic into her life

Cass, I think your grandfather is doing very well for himself - I always admire his face booking ability! My granddad just got his first atm card a few days before the stroke lol. Growing up fatherless, he was the only male role model in my life. Some find him odd but I have always loved his stories and theories It is easy to look academically at someone and know that at 85 they have limited life ahead of them, but in your heart you can't imagine that anything will ever happen. He can't talk much but hopefully that will improve. He did try to feel up the physio a bit and gave me a big wink and thumbs up as he was doing it lmao, so he is still in there - always considered himself a bit of a ladies man, and bless that physio for not slapping him lol.

Seems like E got a huge chunk of attitude for her birthday lol. Apparently 3 years old is the same thing as being a grown up.