Aw thanks Arte i reckon that what has hurt the most is that my dreams of having that big extended family to be immersed in are now 100% dashed. even though i knew that it didnt really exist it is really confronting to not even have the pretence.
mmmm choc chip cookies mmmmmm.
we had a lovely day yesterday; Miss L was having a rather tough week with friendship blues and went to bed crying for her old friends (it was heartwrenching ). i had no idea what to do, but the gods of awesome listening must have overheard as yesterday morning TWO lots of old friends from melbourne turned up for playdates! both unannounced and super welcome and exciting! Happy Days!
I know that dream Cass - you just want your kids to have cousins and aunts and uncles etc, a big family base to grow up with. For starters when you grow up without a father half of the potential family is gone already. It must be tough to lose the other part as well. I don't have much family (that I consider family) but I do have a few and I am grateful for that. My two cousins now have a few kids and my children really love going to see their cousins (second cousins, but they aren't getting any real ones any time soon!). That was a consideration in the move, but I am determined to get up a couple of times a year to visit so it should be alright. At least we will be close to an airport down there.
Bummer about the friendship blues. I can see some of that coming my way. W has a really good friend and is in tears at the thought of leaving. I have been trying to amplify the positives and make sure he knows they can Skype and we will be up for visits but he will take it hard. A is very happy about the move but when the reality hits of not seeing her bestie she might feel a bit differently. It is hard, that is for sure. Yay for the visits though, that would have been awesome
have you noticed that out of 2 replies there are like, 82 views lol?!
Yeah i think that we are hitting that real time of transition point IYKWIM. where the kids are realising that this is sorta for keeps. i am really confident that they will settle in really well eventually as in all seriousness this place is just gorgeous and full of kids and offers such a free lifestyle for them once they are just that bit bigger ITMS.
That is freaky about the views. There are only a few of us posting in here now, certainly not anywhere near 82! I wonder if there are stalkers following our little thread?
How is baby E going now?
Had a good chat with my bestie today. I love how he can put everything into perspective so easily and logically.
Arte, wow that is a expensive move. My last move was when I came down here and I just loaded up the car a few times and dad brought down the trailer. We have accumulated a few more items since the though.
Cass, was that the principal of the school you are having second thoughts about?
Our furniture is leaving in 5 weeks and we have no where for it to go lol. Think I might be on to something though. This will be a lot less stressful when we have a house to go to.
Someone gave us an old 50cc motorbike and W is loving it!! DH saw W when he thought he was alone and he had pulled to a stop and was patting the bike lovingly lmao.
I think I might've been some of those views too - I read on my phone but it's easier to reply on the lappy.
Cass I've just been re-reading the last thread - horrified on your behalf at the extended fam's behaviour. Not cool. BTW Good luck on your lotto - John Marden's school plan lol. So nice for L to have her playdates turn up like that.
Arte - gosh, it's all happening and quickly! Can't believe they're not paying for the move though (!!). Good luck with finding a house. Skype is awesome for keeping in touch, the kids love it. W's new ride sounds awesome.
Cally, how are things in your corner of the world?
Oz, it was great to see you pop in - in the last thread :wave:. Hope all is good with you. xxx
Well, big week here. DH is away, major changes happening at work, I worked at home for the first time (YAY), exhausted in a narcolepsy-fuelled way - and Miss E managed to fly off her scooter this afternoon and knock her 2nd front tooth out (!!). Alarm stations, but it must've been on its way out already because it didn't bleed a lot. Poor kid has been having a rough trot, she seems tired & cranky a lot. Growth spurt? I dunno. I'll drag her into the dr to get her ears etc checked. I hope it's just a phase. Pls let it be just a phase!!
That reminds me, I need to go and do tooth fairy duties. I wonder if she pays extra on account of the traumatic tooth removal...?
MD, did the T-Fairy end up paying extra for trauma? I hope the grumpy is just a phase at your place. I just got slapped with some 2 year old tantrums from my previously agreeable and lovely Miss E. Not impressed. And to top that off she has decided she isn't going to wee on the toilet any more so she is having multiple accidents (although not really an accident when she is not making any effort!!) each day. I can't bribe nor force her to go so I have no idea what to do.
Cally, how is your dad doing now?
Cass, what was your protest about? Seems there is a lot to protest about over there lately - you guys really picked a dud government! But then you didn't really have a good choice. You should go into politics - I am sure that people would like to have the option of voting for someone intelligent.
Jeepers, Arte! What? Have you done a reality check against the allegations? Like, talking to the school about it? And checking that it's not an overreaction from the neighbour, it wouldn't be the first time that ever happened. It might be less about W and more about the dynamic at the school. FWIW children aren't born knowing what social behaviours are appropriate, that stuff is learnt over a number of years. It's definitely not a reflection on your parenting, but you might need to put some interventions in place, to tackle the behaviour that the neighbour has called bullying (if it persists) and teach the empathy skills that you're worried about. It's good, in a way, that you've heard about this now, so that you're armed with this info when you move. And there will be a fresh lot of resources near the new town for you to tap into for strategies, maybe another assessment down the track if you're still worried.
I don't know if I ever told you about the social problems H had - it all came to a head while I was pg (and incapacitated). Basically, she was rocking her own brand of H uniqueness, but she was singled out by the other kids for not conforming to whatever narrow idea a bunch of 9 year olds think is "normal" and was progressively excluded to the point of nearly complete ostracisation (with lots of nastiness as well). I had the extended "I'm failing" moment for the better part of 18 months - until we moved, changed schools, and suddenly she wasn't an outcast any more. The kid didn't change, she wasn't the problem. It was the dynamic at that school that was the problem. H is still a bit quirky, but here the kids understand difference is a strength, and she has a whole posse of weird friends as well as some admiration from some not-weird ones because of the way she values their individuality.
Anyway, that's my very long and rambly way of saying there's always more to it than your imaginary mummy-fail!!
Thanks MD. I was just coming in here to delete/update. Of course I only ever find out about anything on a Friday so all you can do is stew on it all weekend. But after talking to his teacher who was unaware until friends pulled their daughter from school, we think that there is probably some behaviour problems but that a lot of it was exaggerated because the dad has always wanted to homeschool so I think he was looking for reasons kwim. They are now being supervised at break time. Really though, if they were that concerned they could have talked to the school or me so it could have been monitored and fixed rather than observing for several weeks whilst leaving us in the dark. So yeah, in the end I don't think any school could be perfect enough for them because they are always comparing it to homeschool where even mild bullying isn't a possibility. They are pretty overprotective and precious with her. I have talked to W and keep reiterating that he needs to think about how his actions might affect others. On the bright side, it hasn't seemed to have damaged the friendship and their DD is here at this moment playing
I am sort of glad we are changing schools because as much as I love it, you are right about the dynamic. There is one older kid but he is very much a follower and all the other kids are new entrants so W is the leader. That would suit him down to the ground but he just isn't mature enough. I guess that is the downside of a very small school and something to keep in mind when picking the next school.
So anyway, bought a house, mover rebooked, all systems go. Just a couple of weeks of hard goodbyes and then onwards and upwards.
That is pretty shocking news to receive re the bullying allegations. It must of hurt No doubt the parents were already disgruntled with the school if there has been a culture of pack behaviour/bullying. The school would benefit from some closer supervision and maybe some in class discussion on feelings etc.
MD: how was the lego movie??! I have heard that it is actually pretty awesome. I cannot imagine it lol...but so many people have said it totally rocks lol.
AFM: winter is coming. first cool rainy day today. On the weekend we had a wedding at our house. a close school friend married his girlfriend and it was just gorgeous! Miss M was flowergirl and Miss L was 'photographer'. she was given a polaroid camera and in fact, took some pretty awesome shots!
Best movie EVER!!! Funny, lots of jokes for the grownups, plenty of nods to other movies etc. And the animation was pretty amazing too. 3D might be a bit overstimulating though, and it was pretty long - not sure how the under-5s would cope with it. There was a little girl sitting next to us who looked like she was about 4 - flaked out, asleep, halfway through LOL.
Arte, I thought it sounded like a parental overreaction. Still, awful to have to stew over it all weekend! Well done you finding a house, etc. is it nice? What you were looking for? When's moving day?
Cass, I saw the photos on FB - just gorgeous! It's a bit cooler here too and we're getting some rain, I found myself thinking that you are so going to enjoy seeing the seasons unfold in your new home.
I hope Lego movie is still running when we are next in a town. I try to avoid 3D sessions because my kids won't keep the glasses on and then it is just a big blur. A is fine at lasting through movies, but E usually falls asleep part way through. Or gets grumpy and has to leave.
Yeah, I think it was mainly a parental overreaction (on both sides lol) and it probably is going on just not to that extent. I am pretty sensitive to any criticism of him in the social area. He has come so far but is still very egocentric.
The house is alright. It is small and dated but it is on a dead end street and backs onto a huge sports ground so it doesn't feel too crowded in. One of the neighbours is apparently DH's godfather lol. We wanted somewhere with land but realistically with the girls at kindy and W at school the drop off was impractical so we will just stay in town for a few years and decide from there. Would have rented but there seems to be a rental drought - nothing in a reasonable part of town that had 3 bedrooms and allowed pets. Anyways, a house is a house. It will do the job.
Most of the way through a couple of really tough days of goodbyes. I think I have managed to cry in front of every single person I know. Everything is the last this or that and I am sort of just wanting it over and done with. Saying goodbye to everyone is really hard. We had a ladies night last night and although I requested low key, there were speeches and presents. So I cried lol. Today is the last day of kindy. During those dark, dark days when W was tantruming for hours every day and he and A were waking all though the night and my marriage was totally on the rocks, kindy saved me. A place I could go to where I knew W would be happy and quiet for a couple of hours and I could talk to grown ups, so welcoming and kind. It was my lifeline. How do you say goodbye to that?
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Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75
i reckon that what has hurt the most is that my dreams of having that big extended family to be immersed in are now 100% dashed. even though i knew that it didnt really exist it is really confronting to not even have the pretence.
). i had no idea what to do, but the gods of awesome listening must have overheard as yesterday morning TWO lots of old friends from melbourne turned up for playdates! both unannounced and super welcome and exciting! Happy Days!
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