Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

[Cassius2]

Hello lovelies!!

sorry i was a slack bum in replying because, well, life got crazy hectic all at once. We left for the trip on the 20th of November and will be over here until the 6 January. It is sooo cold. minus 5 temps are the norm and snowstorms herald most days. that said, it is beautiful.

i mentioned it on FB but unfortunately we got stuck at a rather horrific car crash the other night in not ideal weather. the girls are still kinda processing it with Miss M in particular taking a rather morbid outlook. i think i need to google stuff on explaining death to kids (it was carnage to say the least - we watched as only a few feet away firies ripped open a car and began the awful task of trying to save several lives on the wet road beside us and then have a helicopter basically land on top of us to take the more serious case away). at the time the girls seemed ok (Miss E not, she freaked at the sirens and chopper and loud sounds etc), but yeah, delayed processing i guess.

Arte: argh that is is a bummer about the school closing . does he have any particular friends that he would be wanting to move with?
Miss M and Miss E get the twins thing ALL.THE.TIME. and each and every time I am like: "wtf? there be 3 years between them yo". seriously, in the case of my girls being 'twins' people really must be a kangaroo loose in the top paddock (hmm that analogy might be a symptom of homeland nostalgia?? weird).

MP: golly that is a busy schedule next year...already lol. i cannot believe that next year is a matter of weeks away.
what gave you the heads up re the fine motor skills? (this coming from the most uncoordinated person in the world ).

MD: how be it in your world? what be on the christmas shortlist for you and Miss E this year?? I need inspiration!

Oh! and in other news (that may already have been divulged via FB): i have a new job (so, MP i am joining you most certainly on the career mum guilt lol). it's a rather intense job and they want me FT but i just cannot do that. thankfully a lot of it can be done from home, but i would like some office time for social stuff and TBH being in the office tends to expediate the tedious tasks). Of course i got the job 2 weeks out from leaving for the trip to the US. so have been super busy learning on the go...literally. but i like it and this uni pays way better than the old...always nice before christmas!

[Artechim]

Nice to hear from you Cass The FB pics look like a lovely part of the country you are in. A friend and I are traveling to the US next year for a couple of weeks Vegas to Phoenix to Tijuana to San Francisco all going well. I am a bit concerned about driving over there.

That crash sounds nasty. I always hope that I never come across anything like that, but then I have been volunteering with St John so I guess eventually it will be something more than oldies needing ride to hospital.
Well done on the job. I am filled with envy! It sounds like the perfect job for you I would love to work, just not sure how to make it work around the kids with no after school care.

W doesn't have any particular friends he would want to move with. I would say he is still feeling like a 5th wheel given how his behaviour is going. Today he was fully punching/kicking/yelling at me for the first 10 minutes of the girls dancing lesson because he didn't want to be there. Super embarrassing (he is not usually violent). Things will be better once the holidays kick in but I am giving serious thought to anxiety medication next year, especially with the school move. It is not just that he is miserable, but the girls copy his behaviour which makes it triply crap for everyone. I will talk to his psych about it next week but atm his baseline is so high that every little thing tips him over.

[Cassius2]

Arte: i was also a bit concerned about driving over in the US, but what i have come to realise is that not only are american cars bigger, so are the roads! and all the cars are automatic!! makes it sooo much easier to concentrate on staying on the right side of the road lol. the thing that helped me to remember how to drive on the correct side was that the driver is always on the middle line helps big time when turning corners or going around roundabouts hahahaha.

that trip sounds like it would be way more fun than mine...i cracked it last night as it is really just a work trip and we are dragged along. so now we are off to legoland here in toronto and then niagara falls win!

ugh, that is horrendous with the behaviour! it makes you not want to go anwhere with them when they are foul like that . My mate has a kid with similar high baseline and boy oh boy it looks exhausting. the arsenal of negotiative powers that she has is truly mind boggling! if it's any consolation we can share in our 'embarrassing public performances': i had Miss M throw the BIGGEST tantrum in a toy store the other day...she has been having them daily...i think she has a tendency towards anxiety...anyway, it was E.P.I.C. it resulted in the store lady attempting bribery (didnt work), threats (by me), begging (by me) and then finally dragging her from the store (literally as she refused to move and went all floppy). i then had to drag/carry her all the way down the street, through the hotel lobby (while pushing the stroller and carrying groceries lol) and then fighting our way into an elevator and back to the room. all up she screamed, kicked and did her floppy trick for 2 hours. it was atrocious. it's now at the point that i can barely leave the hotel room for fear of her tantrums (they strike, anwhere...anytime!).

[Artechim]

Yay for bigger roads!! I have been keeping the driver in the center thing in mind and I think (hope!) that the corners are intuitive based on that. I should brush up on the US road rules though My friend is a non driver so it is all up to me.

Bummer about the tantrum. Sounds pretty spectacular! It always makes me feel better when I see someone else's kid is having a go - it isn't just mine that are walking disasters lol. Is M getting overwhelmed by all the different that is going on? Does she have a lead up where you can tell it is going to happen or is it a sudden switch?

E's play centre has been cancelled for the rest of the week and possibly the end of the year because there was a horrific outbreak of a V and D bug. Tuesdays usually have about 18 kids, this week there were 2! Those that don't have it are too scared of catching it. It was just a few kids to begin with but went like wildfire after the christmas party.

And life has made my schooling decision for me - there are no girls returning to W's school next year so it would be plain mean to send A there. She will start at the future school and I will have to juggle the two bus runs I guess. She is totally excited about starting school

[Artechim]

Hope everyone had a fun Christmas It was a good one here Then we spent a few days at the beach with the IL's. Kids had an absolute ball catching crabs in the rock pools. We even hit it lucky with the weather after an abysmal spring. Back to reality for a day and a half, then I am off to visit my family by myself

[AnyDream]

Hello my darlinks!

I didn't realise it'd been so long, guess I've been busy .

Arte, yes, thankyou, I hit my FIVE YEARS (yay) which is lovely but also sad because so many of the lovely ladies I met that year are now struggling with advance diagnoses . Just a reminder how damn lucky I was.

Arte, I LOL'd at gypsy day! I think all that planning is really sound and it will minimise the impact of the change. Let us know how you get on re the anxiety meds. It must be so wearing. . BTW I also wanted to say - if you want to work, go for it. You may be able to negotiate flexible hours so the school pickup isn't so much of an issue, or organise someone to have the kids for a day or two after school. Lots of people manage with cobbled together arrangements, and it's more daunting when you're thinking about it than when you're actually doing it, kwim?

I was complaining for a while re E's moods - I think a lot of it with her is cumulative tiredness and the strain of holding her worries in all day (at school) and then home is the release valve. She's been a different kid on holidays. Also, I started a Whine Jar, which is like a swear jar but you have to put 50c in if you're heard complaining. It's only got $1.50 in and it's 3 weeks later so I'd say it's working. (Although one time she had the choice of 50c or running five laps around the garden and she chose the laps and it switched her out of it

Cass, I hope you've enjoyed your hols & and it did you all the world of good. Congrats on your new job, yay for working @ home. I'm teleworking a day or two now and love it although like you say the social stimulation in the office offsets the boring-er tasks LOL.

We had a lovely Christmas, my sis and niece flew down so it was two weeks of loveliness. Followed by a brush with bushfire (& accompanying sleep deprivation) just before I went back to work so I was dead on my feet this week. All good now though. I didn't hear anything except happy giggling for two weeks) so the rest of the holidays are going to be an anticlimax LOL.

Anyway, I hope everyone is (already) having a Happy New Year.

[Artechim]

Hi MD! I have been meaning to reply to this for ages, but the holidays seem to be one long continuous day lol.

E's behaviour pattern sounds pretty similar to W with the anxiety building up out and about and venting out at home. W is totally amazing atm, just so nice and thoughtful and creative. It is how he should be all the time. Another of the scouts kids is like W - was perfect at school and his mother couldn't convince them that he needed help yet at home he was having actual panic attacks in the morning about school. There are some basic yoga-ish moves for relaxation that they showed W that you might be able to sell to E as an after school de-stress thing maybe?

Is teleworking from home?

We have just been pottering around with the old couple of days camping here and there. It is going to be a rude shock when school goes back and we have to be up and ready with lunch boxes done etc by 8am. It is going to hit A very hard - she has never been a morning person. It will be an unpleasant ride for a while there I think lol

[AnyDream]

Hi Arte - yoga-ish things sound great and I'm sure E would get a lot out of it. She is such a cool cucumber at school, the teachers look at me like I've got two heads when I say she's been anxious. I don't know how she'll go this year, they've split the class up again, and she's back in with her little friend who's got ??? special needs - they adore each other but she tends to take on the responsibility of steering this other kid around. And he can be hard work at times, she absorbs and puts up with a lot in order to be a good friend. Anyway, we rolled into the new class this morning and the teacher has sat her at a table with adores-each-other-but-hard-work-kid on one side and no-love-lost-kid-who-bopped-her-on-the-head-in-reception on the other side and kinda had a WTF moment right there. Needless to say, I think I'll need to word the teacher up to make sure Miss E doesn't become the new unsalaried teacher's aide.

And yes, teleworking is the career-promoting way of saying working from home LOL. The powers have worked out they can save a gazillion dollars by letting people work more flexibly, and it's been a real bonus. There's a bit of a trend in that direction and I think it benefits women with kids plus anyone else who's got more balls in the air other than just working.

When do your gorgeouses start back at school?

[Artechim]

My kiddies are back at school next week.

MD, I will hunt out the yoga-ish things and send them to you. And far out - when did H change from a gangly kid to a grown up young woman?!

W got a molar tooth pulled out the other day. I feel terrible about it - he was supposed to have it for another 4ish years. It had a hole before christmas and I didn't know until he complained it was sore so they medicated and filled it and it worked for a month but obviously it was already infected so it started to abscess so they had to take it out. Tooth fairy pays extra guilt money lol

[Cassius2]

waaahhh! i was so so sure that I had hit send on my last post like aaaaggeeessss ago...obviously not as i had replied to MDs post way back lol..

BBL...need to have a sit and read!!

Miss L had her first day back today! a whole year since she first started at the school!

[AnyDream]

Good luck with the return to school, Arte! Bugger about W's tooth - H had one pulled around a similar age, no harm done in the end. But the mummy guilt was pretty heavy at the time, so I recall.

Cass, I've had that I-so-answered-this-recently feeling a few times as well. Sign of a busy, well-filled life. How's Miss L going with school this year? As I recall the transition was a little rocky, hope it's all smoother now.

Miss E seems to be happy with her new teacher and class but she's been a rotter at home, so I'm not sure what that's all about. She doesn't have many kids from last year's class in this year's class but I saw some of them lining up to hug her this afternoon as we left, so not too much social damage there! I haven't really met the teacher, she is sooooo not chatty like last year's teacher, but E seems to like her and she's got some good (visible) classroom strategies already. So that seems all good there.

[Artechim]

Could she just be tired MD? The end of the first week back is going to be a killer here with all three tired and over it. Especially Miss A - I have tried getting her up at 7am but she still stays up until 10pm either mucking around quietly in bed or screaming that she isn't tired. I am hoping that full school days will exhaust her enough to get her to sleep earlier. She has always been a night owl since she was a tiny baby and daylight savings doesn't help.

W was a rotter today too. Not sure if it is because he knows it is last days of holidays or because I said we were going to Dunedin tomorrow. Going to another town generally sets off some sort of meltdown but not usually until just before we leave. Hopefully he got it out of his system because I am not keen to do three kids in the car by myself for 1.5 hours if he is being a toad.

Cass, are my double spacings bothering you? I read the article but it is so ingrained now that it can't be stopped. Now that I have looked I see that it is an oddity and every thing else I read is single spaced. I wonder why it doesn't autocorrect? Perhaps someone should send the article link to the autocorrect developers.
How did L go at school?

I can't believe how big all these kids are in the 'first day of year x' photos appearing all over FB!

[AnyDream]

Arte, yes, quite probably overtired, but how you fix that as the year kicks off then just gets busier and busier, I do not know . I also had a little lightbulb moment yesterday when I was thinking about the difference between a person who is bored/disengaged/uncooperative and a person who is not. Often, we think a bored/disengaged person 'lacks stimulation' ie from an external sense, but actually, I think it's more about motivation, and having a sense of direction and meaning. When you're connected to some kind of goal/direction/purpose you don't tend to have as many blah moments because you seize your time differently. I have *no idea* how to apply that within the context of parenting a seven year old... but it's food for thought, for the whole family really.

I hope your trip to Dunedin panned out ok. I loved that place when we were there. Which was about a million years ago, but stilll... I loved it.

Also - LOL @ the double spacings. I went through a stage when I consciously tried to stop it, but I think they still creep in sometimes (often after a colon not a period). And yes I'm old and I learnt to type on a manual typewriter. I'm also guilty of the double line spacing, I even turn of the automatic spacing in my word docs. Because I can. #rebel

[Cassius2]

I also had a little lightbulb moment yesterday when I was thinking about the difference between a person who is bored/disengaged/uncooperative and a person who is not. Often, we think a bored/disengaged person 'lacks stimulation' ie from an external sense, but actually, I think it's more about motivation, and having a sense of direction and meaning. When you're connected to some kind of goal/direction/purpose you don't tend to have as many blah moments because you seize your time differently.

YES! what an awesome lightbulb moment! I reckon you are right on the money there. you should so be having an oprah 'ah ha' moment right there!!

Arte: nah, your double spacing doesnt bother me...I am not forced to edit your work in word lol. it's super painful as an editor as i have to manually check for it, and sometimes a 'double-spacer' (yes, i am claiming a noun for it lol) gets a bit excited and throws in a sneaky third in excitement hahaha.

I seriously had to unlearn the double space. But i felt relish in it as I really disliked the stupid typing classes that they made us do in highschool...omg, that must a thing of the past now hahaha....getting old!

Re School: Miss L is ok. she is stressed by other kids acting out as she knows that there are penalties that make her upset (even to just witness/be aware of). she is still getting picked on for her lunchbox contents (seriously, we must be living in the 80s again man)...so as a result wil not open her lunchbox and therefore doesnt eat at school this is now going to be raised a meeting with the teacher and the principal. I guess in a nutshell, stuff is still pretty messed up, but i am happy that she is at least now in the 'experimental' class with her fave teacher - the experimental class is basically two classes and the kids work together for most activities...not sure how this is different from most composite classes i was in as a kid...but yanno, you gotta roll with it.

the news that has hit my radar is that john marsden has finally found a way to get his little school to year 12...by buying the grammar school down the road. Now i just need to find a way to afford $27,000 a year for all three girls to go and we are set

[Artechim]

Only $27k a year - don't see the problem lol
So weird kids care about what is in others lunch boxes! It never even occurred to me. What does she have that is so strange?

MD, entirely agree that disengaged comes from internal motivation. I lack both and I often think if only my life had some direction I would be happier. When I look at all the happy people I know, they may not be rich but they are where they want to be and/or doing what they love.

So big car accident here. Just feeling so grateful that my girls are alright - to walk out of that with a few little scratches is some sort of amazing. Then all the what-ifs swirl in my head - I nearly put E's car seat on the other side that morning which would have left A on the side that got more crumpled. I also nearly let A go in the front as a treat because it was her first ever day of school. Somehow I made a series of incredibly lucky decisions and they ended up safe but it could have gone the other way so easily. As an aside, it was the head rests that saved us. The car could only crumple down to the level that the head rests were at. If they weren't in we would have lost 8 inches of head space. So if you have taken head rests out for car seats etc, I would highly suggest you look at putting them back in.
It was entirely my fault - I took a corner too fast considering the degree of bend and the fact the road was wet for the first time in a month or so. As soon as I tried to correct the corner we went into a skid and there was nothing I could do. Poor A is pretty traumatised and keeps commenting on the dryness/wetness of the road and asking if we are going fast or slow. She had her first trip on the school bus yesterday and said it was good but she was worried it was going to roll off the road E is a trooper and thinks it was a big adventure, especially when the Dr played Dr's with her and did all the ear/eye checks that we play at home lol.

Overall I am feeling quite lucky to be alive and to have my children safe and sound.

[Trillian]

Holy **** Arte! So glad to hear that you and the girls are OK How are things going with W now? Has he settled down over the past few days?

Cass, I absolutely loathe that a great education has to cost so much money. We pay $10k per year each for L and E's high school, but we get nearly $9k a year each for them in Govt assistance for isolated children which makes it a hell of a lot more affordable. is the lunch box thing because she doesn't have a lunchbox full of frankenfood? Breaks my heart to see what some kids are packed to eat all day. It's no wonder kids can't concentrate in school when they are filling up on preservatives and empty calories. I hope your meeting is productive and she starts eating at school.

MD! Five years. Wow. That's a huge milestone to get to and I hope that there are many more milestones to go Your Miss H hs grown up into a beautiful young woman too. Has E settled down? The transition back to school has been big for A too. So much more is expected of them now at school and it can be too much at times.

Soooo the worst buddy in the world award goes to me I always read this thread, but couldn't not post after reading about Arte's accident My life is just a crazy merry-go-round and I thought it would get easier but it just seems to be getting busier! I was teaching nearly full time casually for most of last year and I was just exhausted. Had a few health issues which have finally been diagnosed as insulin resistant PCOS so I'm medicated for that, but can't lose weight because I don't have time to exercise. Now that school is back and my time is more scheduled it will be easier to do that now though. This year I have my own class full time on a composite 1/2 class at the kids' school (I don't have A at all thankfully!) so it's been an insane time trying to get all my programming and classroom set up done. Now that school's back that's getting easier. It's awesome having my own class though and I can have things set up exactly how I want them. I have a gorgeous little group of kids too - some huge personalities in there but in a good way. One little girl has so much sass it's not funny LOL. The kids are all going so well - E started high school this year (still have to upload the obligatory first day of school pic to FB) and L is in year 9! Alister has grown so much and is really quite mature now which I'm really glad for - was a bit worried about him for a while there. And P is gorgeous. In yr 5 and loving not having E overshadowing her anymore. having only the two of the at home now is really quite strange still. The dynamic is completely different without E here.

Well that turned into quite the epic, but i promise to be a much better buddy and not leave it so long between drinks now

[Cassius2]

Hello all!

So awesome to see you in her Trill!!! The old scooby gang is getting back!

Arte: I couldnt believe those pics of the car so so scary. I am so so glad that you guys got out injury free. the reliving and what ifs may haunt you guys for some time yet. I was in a pretty horrible accident 12 years ago and yeah i remember all the flashbacks and the realisation of just how close we came to being cactus. Might be worth a post on here somewhere asking for advice on how to talk it through with the kids?

Trill: oohhh i didnt even think about the fact that E is also at highschool...arrghh! these kids just keep getting older!
Eeepp! so exciting and huge to be teaching your own class! that is so cool. and scary (kudos to ya man...i'd be pooping my pants just a little hahaha).

I know that we could make the fees work...i have been working on DH for us to sell this gorgeous big old house, for something more...demure lol...just so we can afford to send them there. it's a bit crazy i know, but i feel that the tipping point is so close...

Miss L gets crap about her lunches, because yeah, they are full of homemade stuff and leftovers from the night before (only when it's pasta). it sucks. she came home again without having touched it until the car. bring on this meeting man. i have a feeling she is not letting the teacher know what goes on (they have to eat in the classroom so that they know the kids are eating...but obviously she is able to be a bit tricky and eat the okay contents of her lunch and leave the vast majority).

MD: Miss H is really growing up now...so close to that threshold of adulthood...it's a mind bender man.

[Artechim]

Thanks Trill and Cass. I think I am mostly alright but I can still see the grass swirling around and around as we rolled over and over. So horrible knowing I was not getting hurt but having no idea what was going on in the back. I will see how A goes but she seems more alright with it now. She was so hysterical at the hospital and they ended up sedating her so they could check her out.

Cass, it isn't crazy to downsize to afford other things that are important to your family well being. My kids would get made fun of too in that case - they have homemade sandwiches, homemade cookie or muffin, fruit and yoghurt etc. I have been making subway for W and he is loving it - being him I think that is his lunch sorted for the next 3-4 years lol.

Trill, OMG at your own class! Well done! That sounds crazy scary to me lol. I am amazed at how big all the kids are getting - two away at school already! Time just keeps rolling on. W is doing alright so far. I imagine it will get worse as the term progresses but for now it isn't too major.