Catherine - i was petrified of falling asleep during the c/s - even though i was severely tired - i just didn't want to miss anything at all - like if i fell asleep, it would mean i'd missed an important part of her life. i think it comes from the experience my mum had - i was delivered under GA and she didn't get to see me for ages - when she finally did, my Grandmother was holding me - i knew DH wouldn't call my parents until i was back with him if we had to be seperated, but SIL was there to take photos of our girl and i just stressed that maybe she would get to see our baby before me - i love her to bits, but that was a no go idea in my mind! i think that was in my mind all the time - i HAD to be there - and no one was (or has been) allowed to meet her without me there! i've missed out on a lot of the "congrats" comments cos DH has been out and about more than i have - when it comes to meeting Emerald, it's with me there!
have a VERY tired girl tonight - my mum called when she was already getting over tired and asked if we'd come to her place cos my cousins were coming to visit (haven't seen them since feb last year) - they'd just called would be there in an hour or so, so we figured, given we have a car sleeper, it might be worth the trip. got there with bubba finally sleeping, and the FIRST thing i said when i walked in and mum's dogs barked was that if they woke her, i'd kick their butts - so my folks KNEW she was sleeping. she stirred from the noise of the dogs, so i sat with her capsule and started rocking it - dad came to "have a look" and started touching and talking to her until he woke her up - i was soooooooooooo annoyed. started to get ready to feed her (she was really upset) and mum said "give her here while you get ready - i'll have a cuddle" - ummmm NO - so she cracked the sads at me. cousins arrived and i spent most of the visit with an over tired little girl who just wanted to feed for comfort. cousin ended up getting her to at least settle a little after a while so i gave another quick feed and we headed home - got home and she still didn't want to stay asleep - poor poppet is so over stimulated and tired. have fed her to sleep so many times in the past two hours - but she keeps waking her up. have wrapped her tight now, took her to bed and fed - she went to sleep - but as soon as i moved, she popped her little eyes open again. she's settled for now - not sleeping but not crying, so i'm leaving her to see if she self settles. i really hope tonight she catches up on sleep... i'm not sure how that will work though cos she's never gotten this overstimulated...
i'm waiting on the nasty comments from mum (she didn't get any cuddles at all today) - i'll tear shreds off her. DH actually said to me he doesn't want me going back there if my parents are going to disregard Emmy Rose's welfare like that - my DH is one of the most easy going people so for him to say that, they've really over stepped the mark. i'm so annoyed at them - who the hell stirs up a virually sleeping baby to the point of making them scream??? and then for mum to want cuddles rather than letting me settle her! thankfully i'd said to DH if mum tried to take my crying baby off me i'd be standing up to her, so he backed me up - kinda ran interference by keeping us close - my folks are kinda scared of him heheheh
BG- that sounds awful honey! Poor you, but also poor emerald. But also good for you for sticking to your guns! Your her mummy and she can't tell them to back away and not stimulate her to much. She desperately relys on you to do it! So even though it sounds like your mum wants to put a guilt trip on you, you are right to remind her that your priority isn't her feelings but your daughters. A new family comes with new responsibilities, but it is really hard when your not being taken seriously and so I am sorry for that for you, it is really hard to cope with.
My own experience of dealing with that sort of thing resulted in DH and I having no contact at all with my mother now. It had been building for so long but at our wedding last year my mum showed that even when it is the most important day of my life she couldn't put me first and so I decided after our honeymoon, when we found out i was preg, that I would never risk her doing that to my child. So even though it has been a hurtful thing I really feel strongly about the need to protect my child from that kinda constant manipulation. I am not suggesting you cut off your parents or mother!!! mine is a pretty complex case which i won't go into. but it is really important to set your boundaries with people and let them know what you need from them in a calm and rational manner. If they care about you they will put their hurt feelings aside when you explain your hearts desire to protect your child.
On my front, nothing still! other than copious pink discharge (sorry tmi) and an increase in discomfort with BH I am still waiting., MW saw me today and said that cervix is further forward and slightly more dilated so who knows! She delivered a woman today and now needs a break so if i need her tonight i will wait as long as i can stand before i call cos she spent 13hrs with this girl today....... Gonna try some natural herbal remidies in next few days.. try anything at this point! Am 42wks today, which other than being depressing is a sort of triumph! I had another CTG this am and baby looks really good. still very reactive and wiggling inside. shows no sign that it wants to join us. DH and i laughed that maybe i should starve myself and then hang some food at my bottom end and try to bait it out.... I know not really funny. but it is amazing what the mind comes up with when you have that much time to think!
Bella - i cut all contact with my parents for 6 weeks last year just before i fell pregnant due to mum's attitude and manipulative behaviour, and i'm not someone that wouldn't do it again if it meant making things more stable and less disruptive for Emerald. Mum knows it, and will probably stew on getting no cuddles, whinge to my bro and SIL - but be too gutless to mention it to me cos she knows i'm a lot stronger now than i used to be. my priority now is Emmy Rose, and i'm not scared to withdraw contact with toxic influences if i have to.
apparently dad was feeling guilty for waking the baby (then keep your frikken hands off her and your voice low ffs!) - he went off to work (yeah thanks, make her scream then leave!) and rang mum later to see if she'd settled. she had a go at him. i think i might have to have a go when E isn't crying so that he realises how much it stirred her up. even being home tonight again, i fed her to "sleep" three times and she woke up every time i moved, so had to take her to bed to feed and snuggle her to sleep - that's not right...
at least she's slept now for a good couple of hours - will let her sleep another hour or so, then dream feed i think... but definitely snuggled in bed cos she shoudl settle again.... she's been really good with night sleeps at least - dream feed around 11 or half 11, wake up anywhere from half 3 to half 6 for another feed, then sleeps up to four or 5 hours more
Catherine - I have a hand pump, an Avente Isis - which I find easier to use than an electric one (used an electric one in hospy), I have tried hand expressing and I just dont have much success, likely I am not doing it properly. I expressed about 80ml this morning about an hour after a feed, so I think if I express earlier in the day (when more alert, fresh, not tired etc) I have more success. In the hosp the midwives helped me hand express colostrum as Bailey was in the special care nursery, but my bewbies were sore and nipples tender and I hated it as it hurt so much, so I think I have that association in my head and that probably why I struggle to hand express successfully. I have tried again at home and just cant get any flow, I have even started the flow with the pump and tried to continue as hand expressing but nothing happens - LOL. Fortunately I dont need to express too often, but might start expressing once a day in the morning as if I can get around 80mls a day and get a bit of a freezer stash going it will be easier when I do need it. Where do you get Aromababy products from? As for how long bubs sleeps - bearing in mind that Bailey is now 7 weeks, I would say he is awake for about 8-10 hours a day (this includes about 4 hours of feeds). When he was really new only about 4 hours I reckon - I reckon it was around 3-4 weeks when this really started to change.
BG - Dont you hate it when people insist on cuddles with your little one no matter what? I hear you with your family issues. I get so F^%$ed off sometimes - I feel like saying "If you want to cuddle a baby so much, go and have your own" or want to remind them (MIL etc) that they have had their babies. After going through so much to have Bailey I get really jacked off that the MIL holds Bailey for any entire visit - its sh%$# me to tears. On mothers day (of all days), DH made the mistake of saying to me "don't hog the baby" and took Bailey out of my arms and gave him to his mother. I left the room and had a cry as I didn't want to make a scene but told him later to never ever take my baby from my arms again to give him to someone else. I explained that yes, I know others are chomping at the bit for a cuddle, but mothers day especially was about me celebrating becoming a mother for the very first time, and if I want to cuddle him all day, then everyone else can wait. I know others think "you have them all day" but its not the same. All day you are feeding, putting them to sleep, and trying to get through the day of household tasks, quite often the only uninterupted time I get where I dont have anything else to do but cuddle my baby is when I am out and not looking about the house at what needs to be done. DH understood when I explained this to him and I know he will never do that again thank god. But I really hate going to the IL at the moment as I feel INVISIBLE, they just want to hold they baby and it makes me feel like crap as they seem to no longer have any interest in me. The first thing they ask is "Hows the baby" and I try to do the right thing by filling them in on how he's going growth, feeding etc and the MIL just says "Oh yes, I know that" like a frigin know it all and loves to dish out parenting advice. Also, Bailey is always asleep when we visit - and she only saw him with his eyes open for the first time this week. I felt like saying to her, if you stop holding him and put him back in the pram/cot etc he will wake up of his own accord, Bailey always sleeps in peoples arms and will always sleep longer if held. She is such a lazy mother, DH wont eat any fruit/veg as he wasn't bought up on it, and the other brother is a spoilt brat (and she wonders why). In my mind the only thing she achieves with me is that I will never ever let her look after my child. GOD this has turned into a venting session for me, Oooops, Sorry!! Anyway - I HEAR YA. Oh one more gripe - I HATE it when you are changing a nappy, or clothes or something and your baby is crying and someone says to the baby - "Oh they are so cruel to you" etc as your baby is crying while you attend to them. Seriously - yes I am being overly sensitive but some people just say such stupid things
Jacinta - good to hear from you
Bella - you made me LOL with your comments re baiting the baby out with food - LMAO!!
Bailey has been feeding all day today, Must be in the middle of a growth spurt. We were out shopping and I had to duck into the parents room to feed, came home and fed 2 hours later, then another hour later as he was gasping for it again, ah well, we all have manic days like that
Naomi - are your IL's and my parents related? it's like i walk in the door and it's ALL about the baby. yes, we have a baby now, but HELLO - WE still exist! i'm getting really annoyed that WE have to do the visiting as well - it was all a big novelty and mum came to the hospital basically every day i was in there (twice most days) - a 40 minute trip each way for her - and she'd bring her friends to show off the baby - so for however long she was there, she was all hands on Miss E - passing her to friends etc - thankfully the "friends" were all women who had bf and realised when i said she needed a feed that they should give her back (and bypassed mum to hand her back!). now that we're home, she's been out ONCE, and whinged that i've been to see my brother but not her so often - ummm bro has three kids to collect from kinder and school, he and DH like each other! and they respect us! plus we went to visit bro and sil as sil cuts DH's hair for us to save us money - so there are reasons - mum just gets jealous. Emmy Rose is now 2w1d old, has been home since she was 5 days old - and we've had ONE visit from mum!
i'm so over the whole every second day phone call - no "hi how are you" it's "hi, how's Emerald,, i've been looking at this for her...." i even got in trouble for putting some bath toys in a bag of crap i was picking up from mum's house = had left E in the car, and mum wanted to give it to her directly - ummmmm she wasn't even two weeks old - what does she think, she's going to embrace the toys and turn around and say "thanks Granma"
i know my folks love her, and that is really sweet - but try and remember she's still a freakin newborn - just because we've been trying for her since 2005 doesn't mean she's the same as a four year old - she's a BABY ffs!
ok - enough venting i think - though it feels damn good to get this stuff out with people that get it!
Alot of us are just out of the biirth dates as have been together since the beginning of our pregnancy as Belly Buddies and decided to stay together as per our due dates, so have slightly older or younger babies in case you are wondering about our weird spread hehe
Cant wait to hear more about you and Logan - love his name btw
BG: With my C/s it wasn't truly pleasant for me, i had a very hard time coming to the fact it had happened, i didn't have time to digest it and it just was so quick, i suffered depression for 3 mths i dont have good memories about it so i feel cheated as i couldn't bond with my son the way i should. I am so glad that ur 's wasnt anything like mine and u and emmy are doing fantastic. At least u remember what happened during ur c/s lol i wasso drugged out and doozey i hardly remember anything lol Gotta love family dont u? lol i think ur mum shoulda been more understanding and u have the right to say no to cuddles. and wouldnt it be common sense?. My Sister is bad, and not a good influence and cant even parent her own child. So i totally understand.
As for it being all abt baby i still go thru that with my sister. its annoying and upsetting cause u wanna be asked how u r and doing. sometimes u just gotta say something
I dont have anything in my family i should be looking for with my boys, maybe a bit of craziness and madness and alot of energy lol. Andy was born with a strawberry birth mark and no one in mine or Dh's family have birth marks so funny how that worked out.
Catherine: apparently my dh has told me that my placenta was huge and i was sorta bummed i didnt get to see it is that weird?lol
Bella: give it a try n see if bubbs comes out lol am thinking maybe i shoulda given that ago.
As a belated bday gift to hubby from us (me and the boys) we bought him a guitar and i tell ya Ashy loves it mroe then Dh does its sooo cute. The buttt cream didnt come outta the carpet so im gunna have to try n wash it out myself damn it! lol
hi bridg and welcome
Last edited by BeautifulMadness; June 14th, 2009 at 09:30 AM.
Welcome Bridg - sorry you jumped in during the middle of a whinge fest - we're not normally so sooky! lol
BM - bugger about the bum cream - maybe jump in the cloth nappy threads and ask what people used to get the sticky bum creams off their cloth nappies - i'm guessing it would work on carpets as well...
we actually brought Emerald's placenta home (well, it's at my bro's for now taking up freezer space cos he forgot to pack it in DH's work fridge to bring home) - we decided we wanted to bring it home and bury it in the garden with a special tree for her - we're looking at getting a dwarf magnolia (the ones with the purple flowers) - well, DH wants a dwarf - i want a real one!
Running on no sleep - the overstimulation obviously overflowed and overtired bub was a PITA last night - woke at 1145 for bum change and feed - and finally got her to sleep about 4. came so close to ringing my dad (he works nights) and letting him hear her screaming so he realised what he'd done. instead, i got up and walked away and left her with DH to settle her without milk smells around. still took FOUR more cluster feeds to get her to sleep! and even then it wasn't a settled sleep for a while
howdy, sorry to jump in to your thread but for BeautifulMadness - use baby wipes on the bum cream, it was the only think I could maange to get sudocream our of my carpet with
ahhh just had 3.5 hours of photos - well, photos, feeding, photos, nappy change, photos, poop on daddy... she's been really good considering she's been dressed, undressed, laid in strange places and stuff - can't wait to see the results!
Naomi- Thanks for the welcome. I had a quick read of some posts last night, so I sorta figured u were all from belly buddies.
Briggsy's Girl- Hiya. Its ok to have a whinge. We brought Logans placenta home too, and its sitting in our freezer waiting until we buy our pot and tree. Whereabouts in Country Vic are u? Im in Shepparton.
i'm down in the Latrobe Valley Bridg - so not local to you at all! lol
a warning with the placenta that we were given in hospy - be careful if planting it in a pot - it's FULL of blood basically and if you plant in a pot, when it fully defrosts it can leak blood out everywhere (the middy we were dealing with had it happen to a friend!)
I must commend you all on your posts! I don't know how you all find the time for some fabulous posts. I find it hard to find time to go to the bathroom, let alone keep up with posting, lol. Although, work has been getting me to do a few things at home, so the few times I get a chance to jump on the computer I've been doing work stuff, grrr.
Well Kyson is doing rather well. He's still growing much too fast for my liking, hehe. He had his second chiropractic session today. Only a couple of minor adjustments It was mummy who needed the big back, neck and pelvis adjustments.
Thanks to everyone who gave me advice about Kyson's occasional strange feeding antics. I've come to think you might all be right and that it's still wind related. I'm beginning to think that Kyson is just a bad burper and that he holds all the wind in no matter how often and for how long I burp him. Luckily he's not having so many episodes like that anymore. Although, he did have one this morning still, the poor little tyke We've been trying giving him some Infant's Friend because I was reading in some other threads that it's really good. I think he might have improved a little with it, but if it continues I might try the Infacol as well (which I have in the cupboard already just in case...).
Sorry to hear about the parent problems Naomi and BG. My parents have visited a few times since we've been home, and last night we went to visit at their house for the first time. I was nervous going that far because it's an hours drive, but Kyson slept all the way there and back. Mum would hold Kyson for the entire visits if she could, but she's pretty good about giving him up. I think she remembers how she felt when she had me (I'm the eldest child) and that she wouldn't even let anyone hold me at all. So she probably feels lucky that I let her hold him at all, lol. I never offer anyone a hold though. I wait until someone asks to hold him and then I might let him go reluctantly.
A number of years ago my parents fostered a girl for a few months. More recently she was pregnant at the same time as us, and was actually due 2 days before me. Because Kyson came early and her baby came late, they are 3 weeks apart in age. Anyway... last night she went to my mum and dad's house as well and we visited with each others babies. It was rather cute. Her (not so little) Ayden is very cute (although of course not as cute as Kyson!). I couldn't believe Ayden's cry though! He is sooooo quiet! Even when he is screaming you can hardly hear him! On a scale of 1-10, his cries range from about 1-3, whereas when Kyson cries it's between 8-10, but when Kyson really kicks it up a notch, he'll push it way off the scale
Bella - Rest up sweetness. If you're at 42 weeks now you know that this bubs has got to come reallllll soon!
Oh, and Kyson is going to a nightclub for his very first time tonight. I'm starting him young, lol!!! The girls that sings at the club DH dj's at on a sunday night is pregnant and they are having a sort of baby shower for her tonight. It's more just a congratulations kind of thing rather than the traditional food and games variety, but there's going to be cupcakes hehe. We're all going, but myself, Kyson and the DSS's will come home after an hour or two and DH will stay to work. Hopefully Kyson will be in fine form. I'm going to take him in the hug-a-bub so that people won't ask to hold him.
Bridg and BG - I've hear that if you are going to plant something on top of the placenta, that you have to bury the placenta quite deeply. Apparently it is so rich that it can damage the plants roots if it's not deep enough. The plant ideas sound lovely though
Jess: Thanks so much, mate. I really appreciate the support. I'm so pleased you're able to get into your studies and have something exciting to begin once your boys are at school. It sounds like the perfect plan. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, LOL!
BG: Freaky about the clot. I had one on day 2 but the midwife just asked me the size then told me there was nothing to worry about. But my placenta came out whole and besides a heavier than normal bleed there were no complications so I think everyone was very relaxed about my care. Great that Emerald is so settled and happy. Sounds to me like she hasn't got problematic reflux - I am sure you'd spend all your time consoling her if she was in pain. But you're wise to keep an eye on her given family history of illnesses. Our family tend to have heart problems more than anything else. My nephew had a congenital heart problem and he died when he was 5 days old, so my babies' hearts were checked pretty closely at the morph scan. Dave wears glasses and now hearing aids, but there's no history of childhood vision or hearing problems. The only other thing is a rare disorder that my brother and sister have and two of my brother's kids have. It's called ectodermal dysplasia and it affects teeth, skin and hair. The problem with it is the teeth - my siblings still have some baby teeth - there are no adult teeth underneath them. They've gotten quotes for dental implants but it will cost in excess of 15k, so they are just extra careful with their teeth! The problem doesn't present itself until the adult teeth come through, so I'll be keeping an eye on my girls' teeth when their in primary school, I suppose. These days we can get help through the public system though, so if they have a problem we won't have to fork out for the dental care ourselves, which is a relief.
Naomi: Any suggestions for Natty are welcome She is sometimes really good about helping me out, and also sometimes she's very good at looking after herself while I'm feeding Phoebe. It's just sometimes she is more needy and that can be stressful for us both. Natty gets a rash from Sodium Laureth Sulphate. It's in most baby soaps - it's a frothing agent. GAIA wash doesn't have it in it, so we use a very small amount of that in Natty's bath. I'm using olive oil in Phoebe's bath atm because her skin is very flaky and dry. She's like a little greased up piglet after her baths, LOL!
I hope you had a great time out at the movies this afternoon! As for expressing, I don't get very much out when I express, so 40-60mls sounds like what I'd get if I was quite engorged. *Shrug* I think we are all different, but expressing's so different to actually feeding, I'd say anything is normal, KWIM?
Catherine: Oh, it's ok - it's every three hours that she feeds and if she sleeps well in between feeds she'll sleep for 2 hours. Then sometimes she sleeps a little longer, but that's pretty rare. Last night she gave me another 3 hour block of sleep which was nice, but then woke more frequently after that. I'm trying not to let it phase me - I will sleep again one day!
Thanks for the reassurance re Natty. Yeah, 2yos are pretty selfish, but she's also always been a real Mummy's girl, so it is a tough adjustment for her. I know she'll get through - I'm confident that in a couple of months we'll be on track again. It's just this period is pretty hard going.
TBH I think you'd struggle getting three car seats in the back of a sedan! It'd have to be a pretty wide one. Personally, I think it'd be easier doing the straps up in a 4wd because you are higher up and I think it'd be less strain on your back.
Phoebe has varying amounts of awake time. I think if she's awake too long she gets overtired - even 20 minutes throws her over. But she doesn't settle easily so often she's awake for maybe a couple of hours a day in total and I reckon that's too much for her. (Including arsenic hour - but the last couple of nights this hasn't really been an issue - she's sleeping in her rocker right now. Woohoo!)
Bella: Excellent to hear that bubby is still going great guns! LOL @ luring him/her out - I understand there'd be a heck of a lot of that going through your mind GL with the herbal remedies!
Bridg: Welcome!
Krystie: LOL @ Kyson going to a nightclub Sorry to hear about the wind troubles. I'm glad he's getting some relief from the IF.
Gotta go! Nearly feeding time for one and bedtime for the other. Talk soon lovely ladies
Hi everyone!
Just popping in quickly.... Looks like you've had a very chatty few days! It's great reading up how everyone is going!
All is well here... picked up new car yesterday.
Allira slept 8 hours striaght last night which was fantastic, and she did so in her bassinette which was even better. I love having my bed to just Hubs and I sometimes.
Anyway, I better go. Due for a feed any minute now and then I'm off to bed to prepare for my day with DS tomorrow.... Geez he's full on! lol I love it though.
We've been trying giving him some Infant's Friend because I was reading in some other threads that it's really good. I think he might have improved a little with it, but if it continues I might try the Infacol as well (which I have in the cupboard already just in case...).
Sorry to hear about the wind troubles. I'm glad he's getting some relief from the IF.
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