Babies born~ September 2007 #65

[Ginger]

arte- pm me, i am great at helping with names
the name i thought would suit your family was Thomas Gordan G......

trill- you have made me feel a lot better. i know we are done, and our family is complete but i can't stop the jealousy.
the trip was the trip from hell. i hate camping. i hate being cold. i hate dirtbikes and beer and changing dirty nappies in dusty dirty conditions and no showers....i could go on for hours. let's just say that i won't be leaving our warm house with big tv for the next month.
do you know where adaminaby is?

cass- sell your pram on ebay. i got $680 on there for mine!!!!

[Artechim]

Ginger - Thomas was the top of our boy list!! I was just not sure if Thomas and Gordon together was too Thomas the Tank Engine? Guess it doesn't matter now. Have PM'd you.

Sorry the camping wasn't good. I also hate the uncomfortable sleeping arrangements. Usually the airbed half deflates so my hips are on the ground, kid in my bed steals the blanket and my ass hangs out in the cold etc. This time I insisted we take the foam double mattresses that we have, kids had one and we had the other (but I ended up with the kids), and ample sleeping bags to cover us. At least I was warm even if I couldn't sleep. Hearing kiwi's is cool for about a minute, then I am just lying there thinking STFU kiwis!! I want to sleep! LOL

[Cassius2]

Hearing kiwi's is cool for about a minute, then I am just lying there thinking STFU kiwis!! I want to sleep! LOL

we are wanting to do some camping in the near future. apparently there is a place just out of town that is uber cool and you can hire the whole grounds for like a $100. so the neighbours are all planning a big shindig lol.

[Trillian]

Yeah I know where it is G - bugger going there at this time of year though - too frikken cold for my liking! I enjoy camping when it is just adults, but loathe it with kids.

LOL Arte at the Kiwi's. We had a similar experience with Mopoke owls and had to listen to "MO-POKE' all night!

[Ginger]

yeah so as you can imagine it was f8888ing freezing and i just couldn't wait to get home. i imagine it would probably be quite nice if you were half tanked the whole time like my dh was, but for me, with 2 toddlers to run around after, not so good.

so do you think you will be able to have some time to meet up when you are in melb?

dh just called- he has just driven up the arse of two cars and has no car insurance. looks like good times have just gone real bad around here.

[Trillian]

Oh ****! Is he OK? Fingers crossed that it doesn't cost too much. That is the other problem I have with camping too - it is a holiday for everyone except me. We used to go away water skiing for a week every year before L was born and camp out, and then we moved to cabin accomodation which was better, but by the time we had E it was just **** so we stopped going. I'm really hoping that I get time for a catch up in Melb. But I have to check that we will have spare time to do our own thing before I can make any definite plans. I will let you know as soon as I know though.

[Cassius2]

oh far out G. stress central, i hope that he is ok, far out i dread that stuff happening to us too...

[Ginger]

he's fine. he's in a tow truck atm on the way home. just really stressed about $. we're under a lot of financial strain atm. i don't really like to talk about money, but things are super tight around here. it's so hard on one wage. how do others do it? we are really struggling

[AnyDream]

Another GIRL is lovely news Arte!

Massively jeally I have not been PMed for my name opinions??!!!!!

I would like to speak on the will-the-baby-lust ever go away (because I've been thinking about this the last few days - I think I'm finally getting my oestrogen back because I've been feeling the cluck again). I think you're hormonally geared to be clucky when your babes are very young - it does wear off a bit after time. I haven't told anyone this but I had an OMG I'm having a miscarriage moment the other week (*TMI* insane AF, massive clots pouring out of me) and I spent an insane hour wondering if DH's vasectomy had failed and I even POAS (not even sure if that that would give a bfp if you were having a miscarriage). Totally illogical but it was weird going there mentally after all this time. So anyway, that's my secret admittal of cluckiness, my main strategy is not to spend too much time paying attention to all the gorgeous little bubbas, cos that just feeds the pangs. But I'm older than everyone else here so probably more appropriate for me to put my attention into moving past the cluck. ITMS.

OMG Ginger just read your last post. Just make sure he checks that car #2 hadn't run into car #1 before he dinged them. Dh drove into the back of a 6 car pile up, he was the last car and they tried to hang it on him but they had already piled and he just caught the tail end.

PS you have just listed all the reasons I'm a cabin-holiday kinda gal. And Yes! I know where adiminaby is AND there was an adiminaby sign near our house in the ACT AND I have actually been there!

[Ginger]

omgosh md! i don't know where to start!
what did you go to adaminaby for? how far is it from canberra? i don't even know!

sorry about your scary af situation.
i really hope that once this next wave of #3 babies gets out of the way my cluck eases up iykwim? it just feels weird that a heap of my friends that have kids around the smae age as L are now having their third and i've missed the boat. it just feels strange, like i should be doing it too iykwim?
$ is probably the #1 reason why we are not having a third to be completely honest with you all that and lack of support. just makes me feel kinda sad

thanks for your tip on the pile-up. we'll have to see what he says when he gets home. looks like i might be without a car for a while!

[Ginger]

ps- trill- let us know if you can spare anytime and we'll see what we can come up with. people are welcome to come here, but might be a bit too far out for you? anyway, see how busy your schedule is and if we can work something out

[Artechim]

Ginger, things are reasonably tight here too. We have everything nicely budgeted, but then if we (by we I mean mostly DH) want to buy something and there is no weekly spending cash it just gets put on the credit card. So now we have a massive CC debt which we have had a serious talk about and hopefully DH has realised that things have to be paid for eventually.
It isn't easy on one income. I hope the cars aren't too badly damaged.

I think little new babies are irresistible no matter where you stand - pre, post or in between baby making, there is just something about a tiny little newborn.

[AnyDream]

After me being back at work for 9 months, we are still appallingly in debt courtesy of the extra time I was out of work (which was approx 18 months longer than the 18 months I'd planned and budgeted for mat leave). In fact we have just refinanced the house in a pathetic attempt to get on top of the bills. In our case we use childcare more than we would have if I had been a SAHM by choice, so that has added to the fin pressure too. We've had a few disasters like needing to get my tooth removed and just not being able to pay for it, DH's car was off the road for a few months last year after he didn't get the radiator done when he should have and it cooked a bit of the engine and cost us ten times as much to fix. In fact I was reading this statistical article and they gave 5 measures of financial hardship (including my favorite new concept: "has taken a dis-saving action in the last 12 months") and we ticked off 4 of them, which is just crazy because DH earns the average wage and surely that should be enough to get by on without scraping? I know how to live frugally (and we did 5 years on one wage when DD1 was little) but this time round there just seemed to be so many extra demands on our income than we had back then.

Having said all that, we have a lot more resources behind us now than we ever did when I was SAHMing with DD1 (ie house is much more comfortably furnished, I have matching sheets and towels none of which are threadbare, we have a nicer telly and stereo than we did before, etc) so even though we had severe cashflow issues, I recognise that's very different to when you have a limited income and you don't have any of those resources. So I wasn't prepared to complain about our circumstances too much (I hope LOL).

ETA - re your 3rd child, never say never. I know it seems too hard now but you might feel differently in a few years time. I'm not saying you should have a 9 year gap, but yannow, if you do, it's not all bad...

ETA - Adiminaby is a couple of hours drive outside of canberra, kind of in the snowies I think. Famous for some kind of fishing (trout?). It's a pretty small little town, it was quite cold up there when we stopped for a cuppa - we were on our way through to Kosciusko. That's the extent of my knowledge.

[Cally]

All I know of Adaminaby is that it has a big trout and there is no way on earth I would be camping up there at this time of year!!

G - Hope DH is OK and the cars don't cost a lot to fix. As for cluckiness, can't help much on that front, but I can see that once the boys are a bit older and you have the advantages of older kids (plus hardly any friends having any) that a lot of that feeling just wouldn't be there anymore.

Arte - cool, another little girl!

Trill - hope your mum can get transferred back up to Wagga.

Man, back at work today was hard - I could not remember a thing I was doing last week, but I could certainly do 5 day weekends more often!

We had swimming lessons yesterday - first time that DH or I isn't hopping in the pool. So much better!!! And she was so much braver than when we are trying to get her to do stuff!

[Ginger]

I can't believe my dh tricked me into thinking that camping at adaminaby would be fun! He owes me big time for this one! Lol

[Ginger]

Cally- I hope you're right that when the boys get older the cluckiness will fade. I agree with you, I just think I'm finding it hard as a lot of people around me are having number 3 and I'm not.
L has been going brilliantly at swimming since I stopped going in the pool with him. He's much better behaved and really listens. I love it.

Md- dh is not interested in having any more kids ever so the decision is really out of my hands anyway, even if I did decide later on that I wanted another iykwim?
You guys have been through so much the last few years xo

[AnyDream]

Cally, have things calmed down at work now? Seemed a bit crazy and out of control there for a bit.

Ginger, I think there are some things in life that we just need to learn to cultivate acceptance over . You will get there eventually. xxx

ETA - I sooo didn't mean for that post to be a MD pity party, but it's just kind of crazy to me that we're supposed to be some kind of middle income family and yet it can be so tough. When I was SAHMing with DD1 we could live on less because we didn't have the double-income trappings. For example, back then we only had one car, saved a load of $$$. But last year it wasn't worth selling our 2nd car when we were going to need it again as soon as I started working (it would've cost us a lot more to buy another bomb than just to keep paying the rego on our old but highly reliable car). The current refinance is a good thing, a good opportunity for us to go through everythign and work out how to cut the expenses and make the $ work harder.

[Cassius2]

it's just kind of crazy to me that we're supposed to be some kind of middle income family and yet it can be so tough. When I was SAHMing with DD1 we could live on less because we didn't have the double-income trappings. For example, back then we only had one car, saved a load of $$$.

this is what i dont get either. DH is by all standards on a good income (an income that say, 7 years ago we could only of dreamt of) and yet, we have much less cashflow. but then of course we have much higher outgoings too (mortgage and childcare). we have moments where we just dream of selling up and buying somewhere else and being mortgage free: just so that we can have a bit of extra cash each week. this sounds really shallow but i hate being in my 20s and not being able to dress pretty lol! i get all sad sack like and look at other girls my age (obviously girls that dont have kids and no mortgage because i am selective with my observations ) wearing pretty clothes and gorgeous haircuts and want a bit of that cake too.
i guess for us though i have to be thankful that at least on his income we can afford our mortgage and our bills each week and that when i finally get work it will be a bonus (but even on that front it has been a reality check as with the grad positions that i am applying for, the income will be chewed up on CC fees and rent - if we move to canberra).

ok, rant over lol.

MD: far out! that AF sounded very full on. was it the first in a long time? make sure that your iron levels are ok after that too...some good mushrooms and fresh basil!

G: this is what has stumped us too. we were so set on 2 babies and that being it, but now we have other friends having their third and it does stir something up. but i need to wait at least until marta is 18 months old to be honest with myself that it is not just hormone driven (which i am certain it is!). we love our girls and although another baby would also be loved, i just dont think it would be totally right for our family (i have this feeling that having any more children will just make the lack of family support all the more acute).

ooopss, gotta go, Marta is getting cranky pants and the builder is about to turn up along with the plumber...it never ends.