Hi All,

Wow, I really feel out of the loop. Just reading the last few pages, and everyone seems to be going really fine.

Darcey had her immunisations last Tuesday, she ended up with a temperature, hoarse voice, and really out of sorts for around 3 to 4 days. The temperature was starting to worry me, and then it just dropped off completely. She was weighed at the immunisation, and weighed in at 4.4kg!!! Yay, my little girl is nice, healthy weight for her 9 weeks, although on the small side, she's healthy. I'm really excited that she's wearing 000 clothes now.

We've had a horrible week really, from Tuesday onwards. I ended up in emergency on Tuesday, followed up with surgery on Friday. It was an absolute panic station. Not about the surgery, but about BF'ing. BF'ing has been going so well, and then I needed to start to express (first time for everything) and then the panic set in, the milk disappeared . Managed to express around 300ml over 36 hours, which was really hard work. The tears were flowing down my cheeks, kept thinking what a terrible mother I was to go into hospital and leave my baby with no ready supply.

Darcey was also going to 'room in' with me at the hospital, but in the end, I couldn't even hold her *big sobs from me and her* I just felt so inadequate and helpless. My DH looked after her, with some great help from my Mum, who sterilised the bottles, bought some ready made formula etc. First day back at home was horrible, no booby juice to feed her, and my DH didn't buy anymore formula, as he thought I would be producing enough by then. It wis a nightmare.

The milk has come back in now , but emotionally, I'm not really doing so well. DH is back at work today, and my Mum is coming around after lunch today. I'm so sore, feel so drained, blood pressure is all over the place, and I'm feeling very weepy. I hope this isn't PND settling in. It's just so frustrating, to get over the c-section (10 weeks ago today my beautiful girl was born), only to have this happen.

I'm going to make a cup of tea before Darcey wakes up, and take 5 minutes to think how damn lucky I am to be here, and to have such a beautiful daughter.

Take Care, sorry for the selfish post (woe is me)
Petal