Babies born~June 1st-15th 2010 #1

[entreat]

i am at the end of my rope. I have no idea what he wants. I feed him fine for about 10 mins (with some burping), and then he starts screaming. Mum said to run a bath or just run his bum under the tap, but when I run the water, he stops crying & starts going to sleep. If I think it's because he's wet, I change his nappy (he doesn't like being wet), but although he stops crying on the change table for a while, he'll start back up again as soon as I pick him up. He starts rooting & trying to suck on anything near his mouth (but ironically, won't take the dummy when he's worked up like this), but if I try to feed him, he'll suck from around 20 seconds, and start screaming again. Or, if he's not too stressed, he'll 'nibble' - not really drinking, but cries if you take him off, while staring at the ceiling/wall/anything.

I think he's over tired, but I seriously don't know. He doesn't seem to get enough sleep sometimes, but I barely think a 3 hour sleep is enough. He doesn't vomit much, but part of me thinks it could be silent reflux - but should I expect that every feed? His night feeds are almost perfect - we change, feed, and sleep. I'm questioning every thought & action I have. I keep being told to trust my instincts, but I'm not even sure I have any. I've been crying almost as hard as he has, and I've given myself a headache.

I feel like asking for help - but have no idea where to start. help what? and what could be done anyway? Surely, at some point, I have to be able to wrangle this baby on my own.

[Persephone1]

I don't know the answer/s Entreat, but can you put him in a sling/carrier and take him for a walk? Archie settles really quickly in the carrier or HAB. If you can't take him outside, can you wear it inside and walk around the house?

FWIW, Archie has had some really unsettled times recently too, fussing for the boob then rejecting it just as quickly, then sucking on anything that moves, then fussing, farting, etc etc. I hope you and Jack can get some rest soon.

for you hun.

[Visitor8]

oh dear hugs sweety

Does he get upset laying flat? That's how I know Eli has reflux, he HAS to be sucking after a feed for about the next hour at least otherwise he'll cry and get very upset, and he wont lay flat so it's propped on a pillow, in a sling, or in my arms all the time.

When he's really upset and you don't know how to settle him, wrap him up and go for a walk. Just getting out into the fresh air will often calm them down, and if it doesn't, a screaming baby doesn't sound so loud outside

It's nothing you are doing, being a new mum is hard and it takes time to learn what your baby needs and wants. Then there are just some babies who are higher maintenance than others!

What was the birth like? Sorry I can't remember and I really HAVE to get to bed otherwise I'll regret it tomorrow! If he had a traumatic birth he might still be healing from that. Also if it was physically stressful on him he might need outside help, see if you can find a chiro who specialises in babies Some people swear by it if bubby had a rough entry into the world.

[starangelk]

Entreat I just want to reach out and give you a big virtual hug. I am sure we have all had our moments when we have felt really really doubtful about what our babies are doing and what we are doing as mothers, both us Mummy's and the babies are still learning about each other and sometimes it's sooooo hard to know exactly what is needed at the right time. I have no answers for you, I am so sorry. Don't forget what Smamfa said about our babies being prone to being unsettled in the current weeks. I know that doesn't make the crying stop but it does offer some sort of explanation.

[entreat]

Thanks guys. I get so caught up in the moment of crying that I forget all the good things. Last night, he tried to talk to mum.

But there is still blood in his poo on & off. Not like if he was constipated, but rather in mucus, so it's coming from his gut lining. I'm booking an appointment with the doctor. It might have something to do with the screaming.

He lays on his change table just fine, but if you put him in his cot, he cries. As long as he's distracted with stuff to look at, he appears fine. If he's bored with what he's looking at - cries. I think part of it could be that I have no idea how to relate to such a little thing. I sing to him & read him books, and dibble utter crap to him, but it feels ... I dunno... odd. I think because when he's not crying, he's staring blankly at the world, I find that really hard to read. Oh! what I would give for a smile!!

Essentially - I think it comes down to my mantra: "You are over-thinking the situation"

I don't know what I'd do without you guys to vent to. All of you a treasures to me. I'd give up all the gold I've mined in my short career to stay friends with all of you. Xx

[starangelk]

Entreat - you are so lovely to write such nice things Right back at you babe. Hopefully the mucous isn't anything serious. My SIL's baby had the same thing and my brother said she was going to get it looked into and I never heard anything else so in their case I don't think it was anything harmful. So now you know when things are going a bit all over the place you need to think to yourself "Stop over-thinking!" which is funny in itself as you need to think about thinking that. Hee hee. Ikwym though - I feel a bit the same way with X, when I am hanging out with her and she is just looking at me expectantly I often wonder what I am supposed to do to keep her entertained. Basically she does these things - sits in our arms or on us and we talk to her, sits in our arms or on us and looks at the lights at nighttime, goes in her swing, lies on her floor mat or looks at books. And that's the extent of her fun time. What does everyone else do?

[Persephone1]

What was the birth like? Sorry I can't remember and I really HAVE to get to bed otherwise I'll regret it tomorrow! If he had a traumatic birth he might still be healing from that. Also if it was physically stressful on him he might need outside help, see if you can find a chiro who specialises in babies Some people swear by it if bubby had a rough entry into the world.

I can second this - Archie and I obviously had a traumatic birth, with the vacuum used in the end. Archie then had trouble latching on the RHS boob, until we saw a paediatric chiro who did some adjustments and VOILA, we had perfect attachment on the RHS (cradle-hold and football-hold) within 24 hours. We think his position in the womb and the vacuum might have given him a neck pain, but the trauma of the birth itself cannot be underestimated. Now, I'd never seen a chiro before I had a treatment the day I went into labour, and I've always been skeptical of chiros (I prefer myotherapy, osteopathy and acupuncture) but I cannot deny that our chiro helped immensely with Archie's RHS aversion, and probably helped him engage in my pelvis before the birth too.

Weigh-in yesterday - 4.186kg, which is an 820gm weight-gain in the month since birth. Oh, and me and Mr Archibald are heading to BabyROO (Baby GymbaROO) next week!

[Visitor8]

oh Sarah that weight gain is AWESOME!!! Beat Elijah lol He's put on 800grams in 5.5 weeks. He's my slowest grower of all the boys hehe

Jenn, those moments when he is staring up into space are the ones to grab hold of! These are the moments when they are most settled and will absorb the most of outside world. Talk to him about ANYTHING in a higher pitched 'baby talk' tone. They are the moments when I get the most smiles from Elijah Usually our conversations goes like this...

" Hiiiiiiiiiiiii, hey there beautiful, hey gorgeous boy, oh who's mummas beautiful boy, who's mummas happy little monkey, hey baby..." *repeat for the next 15 minutes* haha totally stupid chat but he seems to really enjoy it

[Feueriosa]

Jenn, those moments when he is staring up into space are the ones to grab hold of! These are the moments when they are most settled and will absorb the most of outside world. Talk to him about ANYTHING in a higher pitched 'baby talk' tone. They are the moments when I get the most smiles from Elijah Usually our conversations goes like this...

" Hiiiiiiiiiiiii, hey there beautiful, hey gorgeous boy, oh who's mummas beautiful boy, who's mummas happy little monkey, hey baby..." *repeat for the next 15 minutes* haha totally stupid chat but he seems to really enjoy it

Oh yes!! Same for Carys!! So funny when you see it writen down!

Entreat - Hope things smooth out soon! DS was a NIGHTMARE for the first 6 weeks, all he did was scream and I honestly thought he hated me. Spent a lot of time crying with him, but it slowly came good and he started to react to me and his surroundings and things got better. Hope that there is nothing bad wrong and it is just new baby stuff!

DS has been sick and given it to everyone including DD so poor little moppet can't breath very well and is pretty ****ed about that! Still sleeping pretty good and seems pretty happy apart from the snot! Weight today at 6 weeks 5.100kg and 58cms so she has grown heaps! Little piggy!

On the whole awake thing, C is slowly having more awake time, but still seems to sleep most of the time. Seems a bit odd as DS did not sleep much at all (too busy screaming!) but she seems to wake up, have a feed, have a cuddle, then (if not already asleep after the feed) go back to sleep.. Struggling to find enough awake time for tummy time... Does this seem odd?

Better go, DS is waking up..

DH goes back to work on Sunday and I am SO scared! HELP!! Don't leave me alone with 2 of them!!

xoxo
Feu

[smamfa]

entreat - big hugs! With ds I had read all the books and i was constantly expecting him to fit into what the books said - e.g feed, play, sleep..., show tired signs etc... and the thing is he DID end up doing and showing all of these things, but not at this age! At this age they really ARE unpredictable and hard to understand a lot of the time, and yes you will have to 'wrangle the baby', but he will also start to make A LOT MORE SENSE as he gets bigger and older. You are doing a fine job. Zach is crying heaps more atm too... mostly his digestion pains him i'm pretty sure. dont feel like you shouldn't ask for help... do you have a mchn?

feu - oh TOTALLY with you on that one - dh is back to work TOMORROW and i am shaking in my boots!! :-/

[UntoldAngel]

Entreat - sorry you're having a rough time with your little man *hugs* have you tried giving him the dummy when he's fairly settled whilst on the change table etc and will manage to suck on it?

[tubbles]

hugs to all the beautiful mummas. Thanks re: photos. I think people must get sick of all the pics though LOL

Sarah sorry about the family stuff Please feel free to chat to me privately, here or FB if you want to get it off your chest hunni.

Tubbles I am Mel A on facebook.

ETA: and you are currently commenting on my pics LOL

I love photos! They inspire me to take photos of Lily.. I have SO many photos of her already though.. hehehe

i am at the end of my rope. I have no idea what he wants. I feed him fine for about 10 mins (with some burping), and then he starts screaming. Mum said to run a bath or just run his bum under the tap, but when I run the water, he stops crying & starts going to sleep. If I think it's because he's wet, I change his nappy (he doesn't like being wet), but although he stops crying on the change table for a while, he'll start back up again as soon as I pick him up. He starts rooting & trying to suck on anything near his mouth (but ironically, won't take the dummy when he's worked up like this), but if I try to feed him, he'll suck from around 20 seconds, and start screaming again. Or, if he's not too stressed, he'll 'nibble' - not really drinking, but cries if you take him off, while staring at the ceiling/wall/anything.

I think he's over tired, but I seriously don't know. He doesn't seem to get enough sleep sometimes, but I barely think a 3 hour sleep is enough. He doesn't vomit much, but part of me thinks it could be silent reflux - but should I expect that every feed? His night feeds are almost perfect - we change, feed, and sleep. I'm questioning every thought & action I have. I keep being told to trust my instincts, but I'm not even sure I have any. I've been crying almost as hard as he has, and I've given myself a headache.

I feel like asking for help - but have no idea where to start. help what? and what could be done anyway? Surely, at some point, I have to be able to wrangle this baby on my own.

Maybe he has wind? Lily gets all disgruntled when she has wind. I try and do bicycle legs with her to try and get through the wind pain, of I try to pull her legs up to her chest to put her back in to the foetal position so that she calms down. Its really hard when you can't work out what is wrong with them. I have only had two days like that and I just cried and rang DP and then cried to him while Lily was screaming in the background. Sometimes it just feels better to get the tears out.. Hope things have improved xx

Entreat - you are so lovely to write such nice things Right back at you babe. Hopefully the mucous isn't anything serious. My SIL's baby had the same thing and my brother said she was going to get it looked into and I never heard anything else so in their case I don't think it was anything harmful. So now you know when things are going a bit all over the place you need to think to yourself "Stop over-thinking!" which is funny in itself as you need to think about thinking that. Hee hee. Ikwym though - I feel a bit the same way with X, when I am hanging out with her and she is just looking at me expectantly I often wonder what I am supposed to do to keep her entertained. Basically she does these things - sits in our arms or on us and we talk to her, sits in our arms or on us and looks at the lights at nighttime, goes in her swing, lies on her floor mat or looks at books. And that's the extent of her fun time. What does everyone else do?

I usually sing and talk to her, sometimes read some books, put her in her swing with some dangly animals, walk around with her in hugabub while talking to her about what I am doing, what the weather is like, etc, I sometimes put her on her play gym/mat, but she doesn't really appreciate that at the moment. She also likes the lady beetles that dangle from her portacot, so sometimes I put her in there too, but I feel a bit bad sometimes putting her in there like I'm not interacting with her enough.

Seph I am so sorry to hear that you have got some heavy family stuff going on - it's the last thing you need at the moment. I got some potentially scary news this afternoon and had tears over it so I think my hormones are still a little all over the shop. We are all here for you. Xx


Tubbles - thanks for the tip about the quoting. If this looks silly, it means I didn't understand your instructions but if it is right - yay for me!!! I am on facebook - I would be cool with creating a group but I wouldn't want any of my other friends to know about the group or see posts etc. It's funny, I like being able to share with you guys everything that is going on with X and talk about my feelings etc. I don't really feel like I want to do that with ALL of my facebook friends in fear they think I am becoming one of those people who only talks about their baby. Plus, probably wouldn't be keen for my Dad to read about my boob massage experience - hahahhahah.



Every single time I tell you how much I love your photos, you put up even more adorable ones. OMG re the professional ones too. We are FINALLY picking up Xanthe's professional photos next Wednesday. We also get the massive canvas we ordered too - yay. That means this weekend I need to pack up the glass cabinet stuff and move it all downstairs to make space on the wall for her gorgeous pic.

Just a general question - out of a normal 24 hour period, how many hours are all of your little ones awake? X is awake around 6-8 hours/day on average but she generally does it in 2 big blocks or occasionally (like today) 1 big block. I can't work out whether this is okay or whether we are letting her get overtired....she isn't really that difficult to put to sleep after a big stint and not that difficult to entertain in those last couple of hours but she does get more whiney.

I think Lily is the same. She usually is wake, feed, sleep, except for maybe 1-3 periods where she will be awake for a little while. I don't really try to fight what she wants to do, but I usually look for tired signs, so if she is yawning or sticking her hands in her mouth..

Weight today at 6 weeks 5.100kg and 58cms so she has grown heaps! Little piggy!

On the whole awake thing, C is slowly having more awake time, but still seems to sleep most of the time. Seems a bit odd as DS did not sleep much at all (too busy screaming!) but she seems to wake up, have a feed, have a cuddle, then (if not already asleep after the feed) go back to sleep.. Struggling to find enough awake time for tummy time... Does this seem odd?

Better go, DS is waking up..

DH goes back to work on Sunday and I am SO scared! HELP!! Don't leave me alone with 2 of them!!

xoxo
Feu

What was Carys' measurements when she was born?

I don't think so.. we hardly get time for tummy time either, but luckily Lily doesn't mind it too much so we can make up some time when we do do it. Our ECN recommended trying to do it for a few minute or so when you change nappy if you can't fit it in or bub doesn't like doing it for too long.

Good luck with DH going back to work. DP went back only 2 days after I got back from the hospital cos he had just started a new job so had no time off But it was okay, I think I might have just ended up fighting with him if he had, I get frustrated at him sometimes.. I kinda like being at home alone cos I can stay in bed or sleep in, or just do whatever and I don't have to feel guilty cos DP is up doing things about the house... but then again I only have one. Not sure how I would cope with 2!!!

[Visitor8]

Carys' sounds like Eli.

I struggle to have him awake for more than half hour in one go.

[entreat]

He smiled at me! And it was a really big one too. That's a huge improvement from yesterday when he smiled at the wall/ceiling while I was changing him... But I think it had something to do with interacting with him like you guys suggested (Thanks Mel!!), and reading him some books yesterday. He's looked a bit depressed (even mum said so...) for a week, and it might have been because I had no idea what to say to him. He seemed much happier today & nearly smiled at DH too (you could see him thinking...).
Next time I post in 'crisis mode' can one (or all) of you slap me & remind me that bad days are typically followed by good ones? I had the best snooze/sleep on the couch with him at the 5am feed. we stayed there dozing & feeding & dozing until 8am, when DH busted us.

I tried doing Tummy time with him today... he rolled over instead (it was assisted with the slope of the couch & pillow). I tried putting him on his tummy again & he squawked at me until I rolled him onto his side. Close enough.

We also went to the Chiro. It wasn't our regular guy (had a locum instead... all I can say is: he can manipulate my spine any time... hubba hubba!!), but I think it did both of us a world of good. My hips & legs don't ache anymore, and Jack has been asleep since 3pm (2.5hrs now). Which I think is great considering he's been typically cluster feeding at this time of day & then getting crabbier & crabbier because he's only getting an hours sleep or less. Fingers crossed! We're going to take him once a week for a few weeks. The Chiro said he was tight in one shoulder, and also in his lower back (from arching it all the time). He gave us some stretches to do with him, and showed us where to massage to relieve his colic pain.

Thanks again, everyone, for the kind words & suggestions. Xx

Tubbles - I do the same with Jack regarding awake time. He's not worth fighting with when he starts yawning. I know it'll be followed by a melt down if I don't put him to bed. So he gets a couple of sessions of awake time a day. If I want more, I can trick him with half a feed. That works quite well!

[Visitor8]

Aw now that is a happier post!!

Glad the chiro helped! Hubba hubba hey? I need me some of that! Wanna pack him up and send him to me LOL

Re: tummy time, I don't bother with Elijah, he hates it and I don't do screaming babies. He has awesome head control anyways from being upright in the carrier all the time

[tubbles]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I have lost my post like 3 times now!!!!

Entreat, I am happy to hear things have improved. Its hard to remember the good times when you feel like you are stuck in the bad.

I also need some hubba hubba action! Feel like I haven't had a good perve for ages, other than on DP of course

What do chiropractors do exactly? Was thinking of seeing a natrupath for Lily's wind (and take DP too for his, she really is her father's daughter!!), but maybe he can help with her refusing to give up any after feeds and avoid tummy pains all together rather than trying to deal with them...

Also, anyone on FB check out our group