Hi there, all

yules - tell me more about Thailand please, so I can have a vicarious holiday ... mmmmm ....

peta - sorry to hear! I hope the helmet helps, and that little head is all nice and curvy with no damage or lasting negatives in no time

crumpet - legs up, baby in and plenty of rest! for you, that wormette is growing delightfully and will be in your arms soon ... but not too soon! let's impress those Drs with the fantastic results of their stitches ...

everyone else - helloooooooooo! Hope you're all doing fabulously, and are less cold and wet than us!

afm - i missed out on telling you gals the last stage of the saga ... I had an appt with the ob, who said that it was all healed ... I said it was not, and that the surgeon had said (only the week prior) that it would continue healing over the next 3 months or so. He said no, the mucosa had grown over, and so it was done, and it I wasn't happy with the "gaping" then I would need to have more surgery ... maybe 1, maybe more ... I said that this is not "gaping" this is a cavern of a size which would enable me to put Joshua back up there, and have room for his blue book too (not in those words, though...)

He also basically suggested that I was silly for thinkng that my whoo har was going to be all the same as it was before having a baby. I'm not an idiot, I knew it was going to be different, stretched, looser, different shape, maybe cut and stitched back up, etc. That is not what we were talking about. This is completely different, this is all of the above and then some, with the stitching not being stitched up anymore. Doofus.

I then burst into tears with no pants on and my legs still up in the air. the thought of more surgery is abhorrent, but I don't see how DH and I would be able to succesfully have sex with my fifi in its present condition, so how is that "fixed" or "healed"?? And how the frig would I be able to get pregnant, if I can't have sex? Not being able to have sex is not ok with me. Nor is not being able to have further children.

I was awfully distracted the following day at work, kept on crying, and was all in all a mess (which was even more awful because people at work don't know what's going on - just that there were complications with the birth, and I've been having Drs appointments, etc).

Long story short, it dawned on me that the Ob that I saw was the Ob who burned me quite badly because it hadn't occured to him that putting a dressing over the spot where he'd just cauterised granular tissue might be a good idea ... so believing him blindly instead of the specialist surgeon who did my operation might not be too logical ... and even being upset about his opinion might be a waste of emotional energy.

So today, I paged the surgeon, and just asked him outright - you told me this, the Ob told me that, what's going on please? The surgeon was not happy jan with the Ob, and all but called him an idiot, and confirmed that I would continue healing over the next 3 or so months, and that while further surgery was always a possibility, that is not something we'd be looking at anytime soon - because it hasn't finished healing. And he said that *any* doctor should know that.

So I am feeling somewhat better, and somewhat relieved.

I am still however very unhappy with the hospital, my care in general, the obs who "took care" of me, some of the midwives (like the one who told me not to bother coming into the hospital until my contractions were regular to the second and had been that way for 1-2 hours) and the junior surgeon who accidentally cut me and didn't tell me or apologise for it. And the ward clerk who took away my lunch when I *told* her I was going to eat it, and said she'd being me something fresh and never did, despite the fact that I was breastfeeding and couldn't go and get myself something to eat or drink.

Might sound petty, but I'm at the end of my rope and I've had enough.

Ah, this was a bit long. Sorry.