hi ladies, thought i would come on here and do some persies while i have more than 2 minutes to spare.

Sparkles, Nikki, Vix, Pretz & Byrdz - thanks for your kind words and support re: my PND it seriously means so much to me that i have you ladies to chat to.

Brydz - i have 2 months worth of meds, i wasnt planning on using them at all but it really was a matter of urgency, i had thoughts of self harm and all that, im seeing a theropist starting next week, and hopefully in 2 months Coops will be at an age where he will be much more independant and my mum and sister are also moving over to here to be with me as well so i wont be alone while DF is at work and if i really need them they will be just round the corner, the other big issue is that i dont have a car and DF takes his to work so im stuck in the house all the time, however i found a good car in the paper yesterday and call up about it this morning and we are going to have a look at it this arvo, that will make a huge difference. Im so sorry to hear youve had a crap week, i hope you still went to MG just to get out of the house and have a chat to someone. that sucks that your 'friend' has blocked you on FB, i burst into tear the other day (which i do alot just randomly) but this one had a reason, its my 21st in 8 weeks and i was talking to DF about what i should do, i dont really have any friends so there is not point in having a party and i would like to go out clubbing but the friends that i do have are a bit 'nanna-ish' as in they will just fall asleep in the middle of a club!! so it seems this birthday is just going to be like any other as in we'll go out to dinner and have a few quiet ones, but its my 21st and i would have liked it to be HUGE but its not gonna happen so i no how you feel in regards to the isolation and loneliness, it really does suck. on the upside im super glad that V slept good for you and you managed to get so much stuff done, well done you.

Pretz - huge huge 's sweety, how are you feeling today? how was the antenatal meet up?? im sorry to hear you had a rough few days without DH but im so happy that MIL was there to help out and give you a break, thats tops. hope everything goes swell with the ob/gyn and that your floors are looking good, you'll have to put some pics up on FB when they are done so wee can all check it out

Vix - thank you, i will join the PND thread but there is no way i will leave here, i rely on you ladies way to much haha im sorry to hear you had to have TWO needles wtf?? but its good you didnt feel them at the time! how is it feeling today? still sore? i hope you dont have to have it removed so you can still keep BF Alannah. i will be thinking about you tomoro if/when you get your results

Nikki - hope you've enjoyed your holiday. im sure it was fabulous. wowzers on Bens weight and size, thats awesome. well done you. hope you have a safe drive back home, and look forward to hearing from you more often when you settle back in.

AFM - cant say much more i can hear Coops starting to stir, im feeling better already. not completely better but i can definately tell the difference, i dont get AS anxious and upset when Cooper cries now. im a little upset, DFs parents have been asking questions as in 'why did you have days off work last week' and 'why did Amy go to the doctors' and DF just keeps saying oh shes just a little sad WTF?? call it what it is. its like hes ashamed of me! i didnt get PND on purpose. i think he thinks its not a big deal and its normal?? ummmmm its not normal to not want to hold your own child, and when your breast feeding you feel physically sick. i showed him the letter from the doctor that says 'servere post partum depression' and 'its a matter of urgency as im worried re: self harm' and 'possible hospitalisation' he just goes 'oh ok' its really getting to me, but im not sure why. i just dont want him to be ashamed of me, i already think im a failure as a mother as it is. anyways gotta dash, gotta fold washing before coops completely wakes up xx