Oh Taurean, I know exactly how you feel and it is completely devestating hey Big for you.

Lottie still isn't at her birth weight.. fingers crossed that will happen in the next two weeks. I only get a max of 50ml from both breasts but last week I was only getting 20 so I'm positive the herbs and meds are doing the trick. Are you seeing a lactation consultant?

Basically our LC said I had to 100% express so we knew exactly how much she was getting. I'm still putting her on the breast during the night feed because I can't be bothered expressing at 4am and my boobs are really sore. Its also really nice as a comfort thing for both of us.

She's also on a max of 2 formula feeds each 24 hours (every F feed she vomits though, so frustrating!). I feel quite bad about the formula but since talking to lots of friends & experts I realise I have to do what's right for Charlotte and if she needs food then so be it. My MIL BF all her babies until they were about 14 months old though (5 of them!) and she made me feel a little guilty, over that now though.

Definitely go see a LC if you haven't already and trust me things can improve within 48 hours with help. Its wonderful your mum has been helping you, mine has been amazing as well. I'm not sure what I would have done without her to be honest. We're at the point I just sit there pumping in front of her..

Cows only get milked once a day.. its so unfair! lol..

Shopping trip was lovely. I missed my little one so much but it was really nice to have a few hours of me time. I brought a pair of pants a bit too small though.. only 4kg to go to my pre-birth weight so I thought I may as well!

I also got a new little camera for my handbag so I can get snaps of Lottie wherever we are. Better than lugging a bigger one around.