Beyond Third-Degree Tearing

[Persephone1]

I'm just wondering what other's experiences are after suffering a third-degree tear during childbirth.

I've had a check-up with the Gynaecologist at the hospital and been told that the stitches have healed. I have no bowel incontinence. I have to go back for a check-up in three months but otherwise everything is fine, at least from a medical perspective.

Whilst everything is medically okay, I'm interested in hearing what other's experiences are after going through this.

Does going to the toilet (for no.2's) feel different? I feel like I need to "re-learn" how to go to the loo...anyone else? I have no pain or discomfort, it just feels "different." Um...it's hard to explain. Everything feels a bit tighter - perhaps this is from the scar tissue?

For those who have got this far...is DTD different after third-degree tearing? I haven't tried yet, I'm not quite ready. How do I know what is normal, and does it take long for it to feel normal?

And for those that suffered a third-degree tear for one baby and gone on to have another baby - did the tearing affect your next birth? Did you tear again? The gynaecologist suggested that I might like to think about a c-section for the next birth because of my tearing. I have no intention of doing any such thing - but please tell me I'm not setting myself up for more trauma by trying another VB?!

What's your experience?

[misty]

I suffered 3rd degree tearing with my first. Things were different down there afterward. Not bad as such, but definitely different. I didn't even try to DTD until about 6+ mths after having DD. It was different afterward, and required lots of lube, but better in some ways and worse in others.

I have gone on to have 2 more births with no tearing what-so-ever, just a little grazing with one of them. So tearing once does not mean tearing again.

[Twin Sister]

I just had my 2nd baby 2 weeks ago and I had 3rd degree tearing with both births, but both babies were posterior so I wasn't surprised. Things were normal in that department after baby #1 once my stitches healed up, but the tearing was worse this time around (TMI - went all the way through into my rectum) so even though things are functioning normally they do feel different. I'm still having pain there too but I'm not fully healed yet.

[Shanti]

I had a 3rd deg internal tear after DD's birth and whenever we DTD (we waited til she was 8wks first!!) it was uncomfortable. Wasnt' until she was 6mths that it felt totally normal again down there!!

Doing #2's etc always felt quite normal though so i was lucky in that way.

I'm interested in hearing stories with subsequent births though as I'm so scared of tearing badly again!! i felt it all too as i never had any pain relief. OUCH.

[Olive]

i had a 3rd degree tear with DD1, it was very uncomfortable to have sex for over a year after but it did get better, a lube called Sylk worked really well.
as for my next birth, i torn along my old epi scar and suffered another labial tear, as well as internal tearing BUT it was no where near as bad pain wise as the first time! i could actually sit down the next day unlike first time around! sex was still uncomfortable but not as much and for not as long.

[Persephone1]

Thanks for your stories ladies, I feel a bit better knowing that I'm not "damaged goods" and that my experience is normal.

[jayejaye]

hi persephone. i was in the TWW forum with you last september! My little man (not so little 9lb 14oz) was born in june and i seem to have had every complication possible - poserior, not descended, needed rotating, foreceps, 3rd degree tear, hemaroids like the himalayas, trouble breast feeding initially. To be honest i think i needed some therapy after the birth, but 8 weeks later, i am feeling ok about it. Had my last check up with OB yesterday and asked him what he thought for next one if i should go for C-section to avoid all these risks, as at this stage i would be terrified of a repeat of all of the above. He said (of course) the decision is mine, but subsequent births are generally easier, but i think psychologically i will struggle. If i was looking like having another jumbo baby i would definitely go for a c section. I am worried about incontinence in the future and pelvic floor failure, and the impact on me of a similar delivery. That said i would want to do what was best for the baby, so very hard decision.

The recovery from a 3rd degree tear has definitely been harded than what i expected. I remember having visitors in the hospital and telling them to sit down and them saying, no no you sit down and me replying that i couldnt!! That combined with not having any milk for the first 5 days made me so emotional, i was ready to breakdown in tears every time someone even looked at me!

I never realised it would be like this - husband has been supportive though, so i feel not too bad about it. OB warned that whilst breast feeding, there is no estrogen in my system so i am like a menopausal woman hormonaly, and therefore very dry downstairs - if we are to attempt to DTD he recommended lots of lubricant. I told him i was still too scared to try sex and he actually wrote "too scared" on my file!!!

I researched 3rd degree tears on the internet for hours to figure out that i am not abnormal and that i shouldnt expect a miracle recovery (after i was sick of hearing girls at mothers group saying how wonderful their recovery was and they were back to doing the deed day and night).

As i said my major concern now is future births, but i keep reminding myself to put that aside and enjoy my beautiful boy while he is this age! Hope i helped.....!

[MumtoA]

Hi there hun,

I had my DD in May this year and experienced a 4th degree tear - same as a third but also tears through to the rectum. I had to have surgery immediately after the birth and considering all that my recovery has been fairly good. My ob told me that i can get on the DTD wagon at my 6 week check but there was not a chance in hell i was doing that!! realistically he told me by about 6 months i would be feeling much better. At 4 months now, i am feeling heaps better but not 100% yet. Everything seems 'tight' down there and the pressure down there at the time of my period is huge! Going to the toilet has become much better as time has gone on - after probably the first 3 weeks it was all back to normal - the trick is to keep everything soft. As for baby #2 i will def be having a c-section. While i do have the choice (as everyone does), i am not prepared to risk having the same damage occur. I have been very lucky this time round that i have no long term issues ie. incontinence so for me personally i am happy to have the c/s next time. As for DTD, DH has been very gracious and it's a 'little bit at a time' for us...it will all go back to 'normal' eventually i am sure!

Good luck with everything and just remember that it is early days and give it 12 months and everything will be much better!

xo